Pay less Attention to What a Lady Says: They are very Good at Hiding their True Intentions

When I started rolling with ladies newly, I didn’t know women were good at hiding their true intentions with words they say.
So, I usually took everything they said LITERALLY or even quick gestures they made towards me at face value.

Hence, whenever a lady tells me something like:

Her: Some men are just annoying… you’ll just meet a guy this week and next week he already wants to have sex with you.
I would immediate think she doesn’t like guys who move fast with her, so I would start taking it slow with her, and start pretending I’m not sexually attracted to her. I didn’t want to get her angry.
There was this very good female friend of mine then. She introduced me to a friend of hers and the friend had a frown and an indifferent attitude during the introduction.
Immediately I saw the frown and the attitude, I just concluded that the kind girl doesn’t like me.
EXPERIENCE TAUGHT ME BETTER

But then I realized that I didn’t get much positive results from ladies by following exactly what they said or what gestures they portrayed initially.

I mean, I found myself in the friend zone of most of the ladies who I took it
so slow with and acted like a monk around them just because they said they get annoyed by men who move fast with them.

And later, that my female friend told me that her friend actually had a crush me on. Yeah, the exact one who acted all aloof with me.
WHY DO WOMEN HIDE THEIR TRUE INTENTIONS MOST TIMES?

I know you’re asking, “Why are women like this na? Why can’t they just say or show exactly how they feel?"

Well, like I always say: “Girls will be Girls, and, Boys will be Boys.”
Both genders cannot act and see things the same way. Life would be very boring.

Anyway, below are some points why women usually conceal their true intentions and hide it with ambiguous words and gestures.

1) To Save Face and exercise the Freedom to Change their Mind Easily.
You do know humans are social beings. Therefore we all need other people to thrive well in life. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed how our society is wired.

But if you look carefully, you’ll realize that men are valued in the society by their social hierarchy.
How high are they in the society class? That’s how society calculates a man’s value.

However, it is not the same with women. Females, on the other hand, are valued in the society by their morals or how chaste they appear to be.
A totally broke girl who has portrayed to the society that she’s the most pure and chaste will be more valued by the society than a rich lady who the society feels she’s a slut.

And who do you think would attract a better valuable male suitor?
A broke virgin girl or a rich whore? You already know the answer.

How about a low-class broke virgin boy and a high-class rich Casanova? Who would the society value more? Who do you think would attract more quality females to himself? You also know the answer.
Trust me no man is an island. We all need to feel accepted by our society.

Therefore, one of the reasons girls hide their true intentions from you is to preserve their value in the society. Because how they are treated in the society depends on it, so they guide it judiciously.
So let’s analyze some of these ambiguous statements:

Her: Some men are just annoying… you’ll just meet a guy this week, and next week he already wants to have sex with you.

Analysis: She didn’t say she doesn’t like sex. And she didn’t say she likes it.
But that statement could mean either of the two.

And as time goes on, if she falls for you, she could easily say; she doesn’t normally do this, but you’re just different. Thereby, still keeping her value in your eyes.
But as the courtship goes on and she doesn’t seem to feel your vibes. she could easily switch to the, “I don’t like sex meaning,” and friend zone you.

And she still has preserved her value in your eyes.

A Win-win situation!

On the Other hand; if she had said something like:
Her: Ohh! I so much enjoy sex.

Analysis: Even if she falls for you, and agrees to have sex with you. Truth is most guys would think of her as a whore.

And if she doesn’t feel your vibes, and declines you sex. You would be angered: why wouldn’t she want you?
Since she loves sex. Still she loses her value in your eyes.

Lose-Lose situation!

On the other hand, if she said:

Her: I don’t like sex.

Analysis: Girls are usually scared to use this; because it usually scares some guys off.
And girls too, are afraid of scaring a guy they just met.

“Who knows? He might be the one I’ve been waiting for," they might think to themselves. And along the line, what if she finally falls for you, and wants to be intimate with you?
How could she relate that to you without totally contradicting herself? You might just sense she’s a liar.

So, this one is not a win-win situation for her too.

As you can see, hiding their true intentions with ambiguous statements and gestures give them options to
keep their value and freedom to change their minds easily.

2) To Test You

Women will always test you, to know if you’re what they want or if you’re truly the person you claim to be.

In the post titled, “Some Differences in Attraction between Men and Women
You should Know About,” I made mention that women attraction are mostly based on a man’s traits, while that of men are based mainly on the woman’s physical appearance.

So a lady might see and like you from afar, but would still hide her true intentions that she likes you while
she tests you. Then if you pass the tests, she could now show you her true intentions.

On the other hand, if you fail she could easily reject you.

For Example: It was clear that the friend of that my female friend was just testing me, and I failed.
Anyway, I was not dominant enough then. I was still a bit of a wuss then and a nice guy who was scared to pass certain boundaries with ladies.

But if it were now, and wouldn’t even let her frown or her initial nonchalance attitude deter me if I was attracted to her.
I could have probably bantered her a little, saying something like:

“Bae, why is your face like this nah, did anyone snatch your boyfriend from you? Don’t worry I’m here to replace the idiot.”
And if I bantered her for a little while longer, and her attitude didn’t change, then she is really not feeling me. Then, I bail out.

But most times, after one good banter, the girl who was acting all aloof with you would be all over you.
HOW TO HANDLE GIRLS’ AMBIGUITY

Personally, how I handle their ambiguity is to play along while teasing them the same time. I usually use humor on girls when they hit me with some resistance and rejection. It works pretty well for me.
Example I:

You: I hope you still remember that you’re coming to my place today.

Her: Yeah. But I’m not having sex with you. Sex is totally out of the question.

You: [Haha] who wants to have sex with you? Me that’s currently seeing my period.
Now, if it was an inexperienced guy, he would think that the girl really meant what she said. And wouldn’t dare make a move on her.

However, if a girl doesn’t want to have sex with you, she won’t even mention sex to you, because that has not crossed her mind with you.
If a girl says, ‘She’s not having sex with you tonight.” She means “I might probably have sex with you tonight if you don’t do anything stupid.”

Since you already know what she knows, you decided to play along. You didn’t agree by saying okay.
And you didn’t disagree by giving her a negative answer. You just teased her with ambiguity too.

Example II

Her: Some men are just annoying… you’ll just meet a guy this week, and next week he already wants to have sex with you.
You: Well, let’s look at the positive here… You’re so pretty and sexy that guys lose it all for you. Do you know how many girls are in the gym right now with the goals of making guys lose it all for them?

[You say this with a humorous voice tone and facial expression]
Analysis: You already know that the reason she found that annoying is that those guys didn’t connect emotionally with her before making a move on her.

And not because they moved fast with her. So you teased her and carried on with your interaction.
Example III

Her: I don’t actually date guys on dreads. [And it happens you’re on dreads]

You: You prefer guys on Mohawk?

Her: Lol! That one is worse jare.

You: Well, I don’t usually date girls who put on eye lashes. So we have to compromise a little for each other.
Analysis: From experience you know, girls say they don’t like dreads, tattoos, and men who plait hair. And yet they keep fantasizing and obsessing about male celebrities who do those exact things.
You probably know if you did other things right, your hairstyle won’t matter much to her. So you teased her, and carried on with your interaction.

Example IV

Her: I think people who engage in premarital sex are silly.
You: I swear down; Genevieve Nnaji, Wizkid, Davido, Linda Ikeji are all silly. I just hope you don’t follow Ikeji’s blog, and you haven’t seen any of the silly movie of Nnaji. Or have songs of Wizkid and Davido. You know that silly people produce silly contents, right Hun?
[You also say this with humor sarcastic voice tone to clearly tell her you’re teasing her stupid statement]

YOU CAN’T ACTUALLY KNOW A GIRL’S TRUE INTENTIONS

The thing is you can’t actually tell what the true intentions of a lady is. We can’t actually read minds.
The only way to find out is just carry on with the interaction and tease her.

And as you keep teasing her, and you notice she’s still not responding positively, then she means what she said initially.
But if you tease her and she starts responding positively, then you know she was just playing around.

WRAP UP

Don’t take everything a lady says seriously. In fact, stop taking women so seriously they’re silly but yet cute beings.
Treat them as such like a child in an adult’s body.

So don’t take to heart everything a girl says or does around you, especially when you’re still getting to know her.
Because they are masters in concealing their true intentions.

Cheers!
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Credit: @GeraldDike
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