In case you’ve wondered what it’s like for me as an aromantic (and potentially on the asexual spectrum)... here’s my experience so far, a thread:

This isnt gonna be a whole relationship history or anything, we’d be here all day lol but just some random things that define my experience

Was inspired to do this because I saw a bunch of people coming out on my tl & its so beautiful- I don’t really feel the need to come out as aro (we’re not an oppressed group and my orientation only really matters to my partner) but I wanted to share to see if anyone could relate

Also this is just my experience, not all aromantic people feel the same way
So without further ado...

I just don’t fall in love- all of the stars could align, the most perfect person can be in love with me (and is) but I just don’t fall in love back

That’s frustrating sometimes, but OFC I have the ability TO love- I love my friends and family and my dog, but its just not in the same way

To me, love is like a unicorn. We know what they are and what they look like from books and movies and know that they’re majestic and wonderful... but my chances of running into one in the real world are zilch

And I’m okay with that! A lot of aros are frustrated by or repulsed at the idea of romance, but for me, it’s a lot easier when I don’t have to worry about it

And I still love seeing it in books and on tv! It’s cute! Some people really do have soulmates! But at this point in my life, it’s just not for me

& yes, everyone I’ve told tends to reply with “well you just haven’t met the right person yet” & maybe they’re right but don’t ever say that to an aro bc it invalidates the experience they’re having RIGHT NOW I could care less if I meet my love in a decade it wont make u right

I’ve had a lot of relationships end badly because I didn’t “care” about someone in the same way

I’ve been branded as a heartbreaker or a tease or someone who leads people on because I love the chase and initial stages of infatuation, but it never lasts past the honeymoon phase

I did however, find a partner who understands all of that! And its still hard communicating exactly how I feel (especially cause I’m still figuring it out myself!) but we’re trying things out without labels to see what’s most comfortable

Sex is kind of a weird middle ground- I’ve always said my ideal partner is someone who I’m best friends with, that I also could have sex with- but wasn’t obligated to (the way that normal couples commit to each other)

Realized recently that that makes polyamory a pretty appealing option for me- I’d make an excellent third partner haha

I don’t like the idea of being committed to a single partner- its a lot of pressure!

Sex is fun occasionally, but I don’t want or need it on a regular basis, and I don’t want to be committed to someone who does want or need it on a regular basis

At this point you’ve probably learned way more about me than you wanted to, but you’re still reading so here we are haha

Neither the het world or lgbtq+ world is built perfectly for aromantics- I guess I’d say I’m straight/heteroflexible- I’m not perfectly heteronormative but a lot of lgbtq+ push us out of the community because we aren’t an oppressed group- which hurts but I understand

A lot of times (well pretty much all the time) its easier not to talk about it, which is exactly why I’m making this thread

That’s all I can think of for now but I’ll update this if I think of any more in the coming weeks mwah kissies