Dealing with anxiety has got to be the fucking worst. I feel like my hearts gonna explode right now

The slightest thought of a stressful situation sends my mind and my heart racing. But I won’t start meds bc I’d rather feel anxious than feel nothing

Lately i keep thinking I’m going to end up nothing. Then the hopelessness turns into panic. Please ignore, this thread is for me. Trying to put my thoughts into words is helping me right now.