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*CRAZY THOUGHTS THREAD*
It's now 1:49AM and I've been laid in bed since 10:30PM unable to sleep. Below is a few things that are going through my mind that keep me awake.
Warning: this is mental health related and probably not going to be pretty.
It's now 1:49AM and I've been laid in bed since 10:30PM unable to sleep. Below is a few things that are going through my mind that keep me awake.
Warning: this is mental health related and probably not going to be pretty.
I cut in a fringe earlier, the overall opinion of the household was good and I kind of love it. But my sister said I look straight out the 80s and I can't shake it.
I ate an entire slice of cake in 3 bites just under an hour ago when I went to the kitchen for water. I'm a fucking idiot.
I said I was going to try to push to a 5K tomorrow (now today) but here I am at nearly 2AM unable to sleep. Makes me panic that I won't be able to be positive on Twitter.
I'm not sure that trying to keep whatever the "relationship" myself and Cam have at the moment during lockdown is good for me. Even if it is, I spend enough time worrying about it for it not to be.
I know that my sleep pattern had a direct impact on my mental health and I'm panicking that I've fucked it for the next week now. The idea of being mentally fucked for the next week SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME.
My sister used my expensive felt tip pens for some stupid quiz and blunted them all which now means I can't use them for my Mandalas for Mindfulness that I'd recently found solace in.
I've been in a state of panic for over an hour now. My heart pounding in my chest and the skin around my fingers is bitten to shit. The more time ticks on, the worse it gets.
Cam and I have officially been in lockdown and away from each other more days than we knew each other before lockdown. He's meant to be moving to Southampton in September so is there actually any point in pursuing it now?
I shut my bedroom door for an hour today and various people came in 5 separate times without knocking.
Probably going to lose my job.
I live in a household that doesn't understand poor mental health and when I was poorly in the past I had to physically throw up in front of them to make them understand even the smallest amount.
3/5 people in my household don't even leave the house to exercise or go for a walk. They're in the house ALL DAY EVERY DAY and while that may be responsible, they're driving me insane because they're driving themselves insane.
What job to I do in the "post covid world" when my skillset is in events?
Why am I worried about post-Covid when I'm struggling to get through tonight?
There's nothing I want more than to switch my 5 person household (in the three bed house) with just myself and Cam but I'm literally NOT ALLOWED TK ESCAPE.
I've cried three times this evening for no fucking reason. (Well actually, there's a lot of reasons, hence this thread. But still)
I hate my body and I hate that I edit my pictures
But I eat cake like a fat pig at 1AM so there's really only me to blame.
