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Following up on this, "handshakes" are pretty much the main reason why I have DMs disabled.
It can be hard to understand, from the PoV as someone who doesn't get this style of message, why it's frowned upon, so let me try to explain it. https://twitter.com/Vazkii/status/1259568836933754886
It can be hard to understand, from the PoV as someone who doesn't get this style of message, why it's frowned upon, so let me try to explain it. https://twitter.com/Vazkii/status/1259568836933754886
When you send someone a question or request, it's a trivial one-and-done reply.
If you send someone a handshake, you're opening a conversation. Now, imagine yourself getting dozens of conversations with people you don't know, who may or may not respect you at all.
If you send someone a handshake, you're opening a conversation. Now, imagine yourself getting dozens of conversations with people you don't know, who may or may not respect you at all.
"hey"
"hello"
"can I ask a question?"
"sure"
"<completely unreasonable request>"
"no"
"but why???"
is a stupidly common pattern, and it's incredibly tiring and anxiety inducing for the person in the receiving end to have to deal with these on a daily basis from random strangers.
"hello"
"can I ask a question?"
"sure"
"<completely unreasonable request>"
"no"
"but why???"
is a stupidly common pattern, and it's incredibly tiring and anxiety inducing for the person in the receiving end to have to deal with these on a daily basis from random strangers.
You also have to consider that, while your intentions might be good, there's many people out there with terrible social skills, or just a lack of understanding or respect for boundaries.
Some people take their "hi" being responded as an open invitation to converse.
Some people take their "hi" being responded as an open invitation to converse.
To summarize, when you open a conversation with a handshake, even if that's your intention, you're not being polite.
You're asking the person on the other end to take a gamble with you and potentially risk having to deal with someone they'd rather not.
Hope that explains it.
You're asking the person on the other end to take a gamble with you and potentially risk having to deal with someone they'd rather not.
Hope that explains it.
