Thinking about how Mormonism teaches people “the natural man is an enemy to God” and how that breeds self hatred, especially amongst queer people.

Like it makes no sense. People have natural impulses which are self serving and violent. But also impulses which are self sacrificing and nurturing. Is a Mom holding her baby because she has a biological imperative to do so something which is “an enemy to God?”

So what you get is an idea that all your good impulses and feelings aren’t really yours. They were *given* to you. Positive intuition is “the spirit” or “The Light of Christ”

What you learn is that you can’t ever be good on your own. Like wouldn’t it just be more honest if we had bumper stickers that says “I’d be a piece of shit if not for Jesus” rather than “Jesus Saves”

I think an insidious side of this is that it teaches people to doubt their own autonomy. I don’t think I ever would have learned self forgiveness from Mormonism. Forgiveness is a form of validation, and if you rely on validation from others, inevitably you will be disappointed

But learning to trust myself, to supply my own grace. That has helped me. By putting all grace outside my own body; that taught me to punish myself, and definitely gave me a clinical anxiety disorder I’m only now starting to correct. What a yikes.

And! There’s the whole other angle about how this affects queer saints. If you have ~*~ HOMOSEXUAL FEELINGS ~*~ you learn those feelings are not good, even *if* they are natural (which Mormonism can’t decide if they are or not)

Do you learn that you need to train those natural elements to be replaced. That you can pump the heterosexuality into you like a blood transfusion. It’s cover conversion therapy.

It reminds me of this idea it’s another instance where Mormonism and e modern right intersect; a belief that the institution is needed or else all will fall into despair https://twitter.com/thelindsayellis/status/1259260725861552129?s=20

When queer people talk about systemic abuses by the Church; this is what they talk about. Even if your Bishop is nice to you, even if your family puts your partner in the phot and invites them to Christmas; this kinda stuff torments and reaves a person.