I want to make another important post: Grooming through art.
Anti-shippers talk about grooming through art. They say that pedo/incest/abuse art grooms victims and leave it at that. They never elaborate on what this means and I don't think they even know themselves.
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Hello, I can talk about this because I was UNFORTUNATE enough to be someone who was groomed through art as part of the process. But the plot twist? I was groomed through “wholesome” art that my abuser drew specifically. Completely anti-approved art.

My abuser met me and immediately latched onto me, despite only knowing him for two months and never explicitly agreeing to date him, he somehow found himself moving into my space (he was a pathological liar and said he needed to live with me ASAP to escape a dangerous family) AND

coerced me into a relationship and never took my uncertainty/nos for an answer. Art played a role in this. But it was always art he drew for me himself. On the surface, it seemed wholesome and sweet, and in any other context, there's nothing wrong with this type of art.

But notice something important, there was an insidious message being told through it. Notice in this drawing how he drew me being actively HATED by everyone around me. He drew other people calling me annoying, other people disliking me to reinforce to me that nobody liked me

except him. I had to rely on solely him because I was unlikeable to everyone else. I was to depend on him and let him care about me because he was the only one who was “proud of me”.
But that’s the thing, this art, by itself, is harmless. Removed from that context it could even

seem like a sweet sentiment if it was drawn about say your OTP. What allowed me to be groomed by his art was NOT the art itself, it was how the art tied into our personal relationship and how he fed my insecurities and encouraged me to depend on and trust only him.

The art was simply a tool that on its own would not have been effective. In fact, at one point I think he even sent me incest ship art and said it reminded him of our relationship and I just immediately said “BUT WE AREN’T RELATED” and he switched to the wholesome OTP art of us.

I was not groomed through seeing random incest or age gap ship art online, no one is. I was groomed through art that was MADE EXPLICITLY TO MAKE ME MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO TRUSTING MY ABUSER. The art wasn't problematic because problematic art wouldn't

make me think he was going to abuse me. The art was fluffy, schmaltzy, romantic, etc. Do you see what I’m getting at?
The most upsetting thing about this was that my anti ex friends KNEW about this story and they even AGREED with me when I explained to them how grooming through

art actually works. But the moment they found out I liked problematic ships, suddenly this experience was no longer valid. I was no longer a victim to grooming and abuse through this art, I was the groomer because I liked problematic content and my art was hurting other people.

They didn’t care about how this art was used to manipulate me once it came out that I was “problematic”. They went back on their understanding that any art can be used to groom like any tool and insisted the existence of problematic art is the problem. Not how the art is used.

I was groomed by an adult younger than me and through wholesome art. So antis did not care about my victim story. They tossed me aside because it didn’t fit their agenda. It didn’t matter if the abuse this person put me through left me homeless for 3 months and in a psych ward.

To reiterate: Art CANNOT groom someone by merely existing. Art has to be USED by an abuser in a PERSONALLY TARGETED way. So any art, sfw, nsfw, problematic, non-problematic can be used. Hell, even something as innocent as someones interests and hobbies can be used to groom them.

Should people stop having interests or hobbies? It’s HOW the abuser uses it, to gain your trust. This isn't to make people paranoid. Obviously bonding with people over interests or someone drawing you sweet art doesn't mean they are grooming you. It’s all about the context.

The art that groomed me was paired with love-bombing and other tactics manipulating my boundaries that made it possible to groom me. The ignorance around how grooming works is deliberate from some antis, they KNOW better, they just don’t care. The ones who harassed me knew better

If you want to talk about art grooming, then let’s talk about all the anti-shippers who routinely show NSFW art to minors to encourage them to trust only their circles as well as go into NSFW spaces they don’t belong in and harass adult artists. THAT’S art being used as a tool.

That’s how “problematic” art is grooming, through the actions of antis. Someone having a tagged/marked adult account posting art you don't like or find uncomfortable in their own space isn't grooming. People who know to NOT interact with minors over NSFW clearly HAVE boundaries.

If you're an anti-shipper (or anyone unfamiliar with how grooming through art happens) seeing this post, take a good long look at it and learn the signs. Please protect yourself.

Oh and I want to add to this, the art isn’t responsible for grooming me. My abuser is. The person who used the art. Not the art. Abusers are always at fault for their own actions. Even if the art came from another artist it’s not their fault if it was removed from context.