I’ve been finally reading and enjoying EVERY DAY this weekend and suddenly out of nowhere I was hit with a chapter full of fatphobia that left me so disgusted and insulted I needed to talk about it.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t read the book or that you should ‘cancel’ the author, since this book is old and maybe he regrets that chapter but I want to address the actual content of the chapter itself, and what is so wrong about it.

The person whose body A wakes up in is described as being “at least 300 lbs.” I have hovered around 300 lbs. for years. So let’s talk about disparate my experiences are from the way this fat character was written.

First of all, when I wake up I do not have trouble raising my head from the pillow or my arms from my sides or my body from the bed. I do not feel as if I have sacks of meat tied to my limbs. They are just my limbs.

A talks about this character as retreating from the world and being fat because of carelessness and laziness. There is no depth to the exploration of this character’s fatness. It’s written as a consequence of bad choices. A cannot even see his humanity.

My fatness has layers. I was mentally and physically abused by a parent as a child and food is comfort. My body also gains weight more easily than others. I was fat even when I ran 4 miles every 3 days and eating minimal carbs and sugar. My fatness does not negate my humanity.

A talks about undisguised looks of disgust from everyone. I have never received looks of disgust at 300 lbs. That experience may be different for other fat people. I HAVE had someone try to pick me up on the side of the road once though.

They wear black to look more slimming but instead they are “this sphere of darkness submarining through the halls.” Hot garbage! Black is slimming on me and this language is just...gross!

Finn wears XXXL shirts and size 46 jeans. I’m XXXL and size 40/42 jeans. Ties do not look ridiculous “ski-sloping off my stomach.” I look dapper AF, thankyouverymuch!

A talks about chairs wobbling underneath them. Unless those chairs are cheap AF, that wouldn’t happen. They knock things off shelves, because god forbid someone be fat and not a complete oaf.

And the final gut punch is that Rhiannon can’t even see A in this body because they’re just soooo fat that’s all she can see. This chapter says more to me about the two main characters than it does about Finn, the boy whose body A is in.

When my boyfriend looks at me, he doesn’t see “fat.” He sees me. He sees my humanity, my heart, my kindness, my humor. He doesn’t look at my belly with disgust. It’s a part of me. To him I am sexy.

I feel like this chapter could’ve done so much more to show how fat people are just like everyone else. That the shit we get from society is unwarranted and that, like every other body A inhabits in this book, there’s a person inside with feelings and thoughts and complexities.

There could’ve been something said about Finn’s humanity being diminished by people around him because he’s fat but A sees it and so does Rhiannon, who somehow can see A before she knows it’s A but not this time bc they’re fat?!

I wish A had seen what people who are thin never see bc they don’t inhabit a fat body. I wish this chapter had added something to the conversation. I wish it saw our humanity. This book had me engrossed, and I literally had to stop and rant bc it was so jarringly insulting.

I feel nervous about tweeting this bc the author is a big editor, we have mutual friends, etc. But I’ve tried to keep my reactions to the work and not assume anything about the author. This book is 8 years old. But I’d call my friends out for this too and it needed commenting.

I guess the main takeaway I’d like to come from this thread is not to attack the author about this (please don’t) but to give an example of What Not To Do when writing your own novel. This didn’t cut deep for me bc i saw it for the BS it was but I guarantee it hurt other readers.

This is what we talk about when we talk about harmful, poor representation. You owe your readers more and you owe yourself and your WRITING more! This chapter is a blight on an excellent book, which is a shame, and I’m going to now pretend it doesn’t exist so I can finish it.