THREAD: How the bullying suppression of emotional expression in boys ultimately targets women. --
Men are conditioned by our dominant culture of masculinity (man box culture) to bully each other out of the powerful emotional, relational capacities we are all born with. /1

The targeting of women is rooted on how we bully boys to to hide their authentic selves, to suppress their honest emotional responses, relational capacities. We wrongly gender these human capacities for connection as "sissy, girly or gay" See: Niobe Way's book Deep Secrets. /2

By wrongly gendering boy's natural human capacities for connection as feminine, and then denigrating the feminine to police boy's emotional expression, we teach generations of boys that women are less even as we suppress their ability to form healthy, authentic relationships. /3

In the moment by moment of relating, in the daily back and forth of human communication, our emotions and connection emerge, our capacity to connect in nuanced ways grows. When we tell boys and men, "Don't show our emotions" we cut them off from growing these capacities. /4

For men, the influence of domination based culture of masculinity begins in infancy, so universal, coming from within almost every relationship in our lives, as to be invisible to us. We see man box cultural conditioning as simply “who we are.” Man box culture is our identity. /5

By wrongly gendering boy's natural human capacities for connection as feminine, and then denigrating the feminine to police boy's emotional expression, we teach generations of boys that women are less as we suppress their ability to form healthy, authentic relationships. /6

Our isolating, man box culture punishes boys' deep need for human connection and close friendships/relationships, shaming those needs as “girly or gay”. Stripped of human connection, boys are left with only the ability to police and dominate others as the path to manhood. /7

The relational capacities boys are blocked from displaying/growing/valuing include empathy, connection across difference, emotional expression, care-giving and more. /8

By wrongly gendering boy's natural human capacities for connection as feminine, and then denigrating the feminine to police boy's emotional expression, we teach generations of boys that women are less as we suppress their ability to form healthy, authentic relationships. /9

The result for men is a masculine rat race culture of deeply isolating competition and competitive dominance. The result for women is generations of men who have been bullied into relying on dominance as central to engaging relationships while also seeing women as less. /10

This deeply isolating closed loop of domination based masculinity results in our global epidemic of sexual harassment, abuse and rape against women and men. We have underpinned our global cultures with a masculinity of domination instead of a masculinity of human connection /11

Domination based man box masculinity, the “I got mine, now you get yours” macho, hyper individualizing view of manhood underpins predatory capitalism, environmental destruction, white nationalism, class and race violence. Man box culture is killing us, men, women, children. /12

To see Cigna's 2018 study on our epidemic of loneliness in America, go here: https://www.cigna.com/newsroom/news-releases/2018/new-cigna-study-reveals-loneliness-at-epidemic-levels-in-america /13

NYU Professor and researcher @niobe_way's Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection is here: https://www.amazon.com/Deep-Secrets-Friendships-Crisis-Connection/dp/0674072421 /14

Want to learn more? This thread is part of my book, The Little #MeToo Book for Men. Our book reveals the destructive influence of man box culture in men and women's lives and offers a path forward. It has been called “…nothing short of a blueprint for men’s liberation.” /15

Get the Little #MeToo Book for Men or Remaking Manhood online at Barnes & Noble.
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-little-metoo-book-for-men-mark-greene/1130130750?ean=9780983466963

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/remaking-manhood-mr-mark-c-greene/1123716758?ean=9781530817061

Also available at http://Amazon.com 

https://www.amazon.com/Little-MeToo-Book-Men-ebook/dp/B07KC383HX

https://www.amazon.com/Remaking-Manhood-Stories-Front-Change/dp/1530817064 /16