Before the sun sets in all time-zones on this Mother’s Day, here is my annual PSA to all young women who have not had children, & may be thinking about it. Yeah, it is nice to get flowers, (burnt), breakfast in bed & their left-over sweeties. All those photos are really cute!/

2/ It is beautiful & fun when your kids become real grown humans who you can have political convos with, & they become your best friends, golf-buddies, brunch mates & all that. It is lovely! I will be the 1st to say that. My 26yr old gave a speech vs capitalism on his earthday

3/ But you know what MOTHERING is f***ing hard work! Knuckle & bone blooming hard. Physically. Emotionally. Financially. It is not for everyone. Do not let us make you broody, when we post cutie things & photos, & make you feel you’re missing out. No! Be honest with yourself/

4/ 1st things 1st: Are you prepared for the unprotected sex that gets you to pregnancy? Yep. You gotta get past that bit. You can get a baby & other goggas into your body! What do you really know about that person you’re about to get it on with? All good? Next...

5/. Ok. So what do you really know about pregnancy! All those cutesy photos of big bellies and bae putting their hand on the tum, (I am making no assumption about bae’s gender), are just part of the story. If you want to adopt, what do you really know.... about adopting a child?

6/. Are you emotionally prepared for the way your world’ll be turned upside down by pregnancy? If you have a paid job, what is your maternity leave entitlement? What if some complications arise? Will your employer/med insurance cover all that? If self-employed, what‘s the plan?

7/. My favourite: That man who says, ‘ndiitire mwana, (have a baby for me/to prove you love me): what’s he offering in return? Is he prepared to sign that blank cheque to cover you & the child till s/he turns 35? If the post-COVID world will be what they tell us, 35’s minimum!

8/ Your child will always remain- your child. Your responsibility, (I am largely talking to black & brown folks here. Are you ready for this lifetime commitment? And that one who asked you ‘to have a child for them? Have they signed up jointly for the long haul too? #LongHaul!

9/ Creche. Primary. High School. Varsity. Sports days. Music. Crimes. Bad temper. Teen pregnancy. Alcoholism. Drug-addiction. Disabilities. Living with HIV. Unemployment. Love. Hate. Love. Hate. School runs. Sickness. Are you ready for all these? Just half of it?You have stamina?

10/ The love/hate part: Your kids will show these to you in different measure. It’s not always ‘my mum’s my rock’, blah. No! Half the time you’ll hate yourself too.
When all is said & done, Motherhood is a choice. Never let anyone tell/convince you otherwise. Do it for YOU.

11. Finalmente! I can’t lie. I am waiting for my moment like Christopher Martin’s mum in this video. Happy Mothering by choice you all