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Alright i guess I& #39;m doing a Gender Feels thread. CW: dysphoria ahead
First of all let& #39;s acknowledge that apparently there are only 2 kinds of parents in out society: mothers and fathers. And those widely applied labels come laced with SO many connotations and assumptions and expectations.
MOTHERS are women, female, definitely *supposed* to be nurturing and selfless. Makes less money or is supposed to stay home. (In this economy??? Please.)
Supposed to give up on self care because they& #39;re busy wearing themselves down to the bone for their kid(s) & spouse
Supposed to give up on self care because they& #39;re busy wearing themselves down to the bone for their kid(s) & spouse
How else did we get "mom jeans" and "women *like* to give up their careers once they have children" and other misogynistic crap like that.
Anyway not the point. Y& #39;all run around thinking mothers present femininely or are capable of bearing children or both
Anyway not the point. Y& #39;all run around thinking mothers present femininely or are capable of bearing children or both
I don& #39;t fucking care if I fit into your stupid shitty box. I am not a mother. I am a parent and I almost died giving birth to my child but I& #39;m not a goddamned mother. It doesn& #39;t fit. I don& #39;t fit. If I don& #39;t accept this day I don& #39;t get another one where my parenting efforts are
recognized but if I do then I get erased to a degree that gives me really, really bad dysphoria. If I say the label doesn& #39;t fit don& #39;t fucking argue with me. It does not matter how incorrectly you perceive me or how much you want me to fit into your idea of me. I. Don& #39;t. Belong.
And every time someone refuses to see me, insists on labeling me "mother" and "she/her" and dismisses me it reminds me that it doesn& #39;t matter what my truth is because everyone else makes assumptions that keep them comfortable.
I love my child and I would die for them but I will never lose myself just because I became a parent. I won& #39;t (can& #39;t?) give up my career. I won& #39;t act like I& #39;m fine and brush it off because you want to insist that actually I am female. I& #39;m NOT. I& #39;m not even a non-binary woman -
I& #39;m just non-binary. And as an enby I get sucked into SO many "women and women lite" spaces that it makes me physically sick and wish I could take off my body. I wish I didn& #39;t have to wear this shape in a society that refuses to see past it.
This thread, and threads like it, are how I know I am trans enough. I don& #39;t belong where you think I should and you can try all day long to erase me but I refuse. I& #39;m not a mother and I can& #39;t pretend to be one for anyone. I& #39;m a parent but I& #39;m not a mother and I& #39;m not a father.
