Read on Twitter
Mother& #39;s Day is awful for me for many reasons. My own lack of a mother or maternal love in my life, certainly, but also my decision to not become a mother, myself. That one has been controversial and worthy of commentary for so many.
I never wanted kids or dreamed of one day "being a mommy." I didn& #39;t play with baby dolls (though they were shoved at me) or envision myself with a family of my own. I was told "you& #39;ll change your mind." I& #39;m now in my early 30s. Haven& #39;t changed my mind yet.
I remember a particular incident when I was still a Christian Church goer. As we were leaving, the pastor and elders were giving out roses for Mother& #39;s Day to all of the women. I politely declined. "Oh, no thanks, I& #39;m not a mom"
"Yes, but you will be one day!"
"Yes, but you will be one day!"
"No...no thank you. I won& #39;t be" I persisted and handed the rose back. He sent me a message the next week and wanted to talk to me. I met with him. He told me I needed to embrace what made women "unique" and "special" in the eyes of God. My ability to procreate.
I was mortified. I will never forget the violation and intrusion I felt. I always felt like less of a complete woman because I lack the desire for a child. In fact, it& #39;s more or less a terror. The idea of having a child makes me physically ill.
