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Mother's Day is awful for me for many reasons. My own lack of a mother or maternal love in my life, certainly, but also my decision to not become a mother, myself. That one has been controversial and worthy of commentary for so many.
I never wanted kids or dreamed of one day "being a mommy." I didn't play with baby dolls (though they were shoved at me) or envision myself with a family of my own. I was told "you'll change your mind." I'm now in my early 30s. Haven't changed my mind yet.
I remember a particular incident when I was still a Christian Church goer. As we were leaving, the pastor and elders were giving out roses for Mother's Day to all of the women. I politely declined. "Oh, no thanks, I'm not a mom"
"Yes, but you will be one day!"
"Yes, but you will be one day!"
"No...no thank you. I won't be" I persisted and handed the rose back. He sent me a message the next week and wanted to talk to me. I met with him. He told me I needed to embrace what made women "unique" and "special" in the eyes of God. My ability to procreate.
I was mortified. I will never forget the violation and intrusion I felt. I always felt like less of a complete woman because I lack the desire for a child. In fact, it's more or less a terror. The idea of having a child makes me physically ill.
Not all women want or even can be mothers. I'm worth more than my ability to incubate. It doesn't make me cold or damaged. It's a choice that I'm going to exercise so long as the opportunity to do so remains. My mind will not change.
It's long past time for people, men particularly, to stop making comments on or having any opinion about uteruses and their usage. It isn't your business. Worry about your own bodily functions.
