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Give yourself a break; a thread.
So I& #39;ve put on weight since this whole quarantine thing started. I& #39;m sure lots of us have. Today, for the first time, I decided to give myself a break and not worry about it. I want to share this experience because I know what it means to some.
So I& #39;ve put on weight since this whole quarantine thing started. I& #39;m sure lots of us have. Today, for the first time, I decided to give myself a break and not worry about it. I want to share this experience because I know what it means to some.
I have struggled with an eating disorder since high school. I have never been a thin girl, and I& #39;ve always been busty, so I never really got over the fact that my body would not, and could not look the way I wanted it to. I was never told I was fat, but I didn& #39;t need to be.
I would stand and scrutinize for hours. I would weep in dressing rooms. I would skip meals and binge and purge and do everything in my power to be ready for the day when someone finally confirmed that I looked as ugly as I felt, so I could say "it& #39;s not for lack of trying."
I& #39;ve severely cut down on the most harmful of those behaviors because someone is here making sure I take care of myself. But body dysmorphia is like your shadow, it& #39;s always there whether you acknowledge it or not. It can be hard to ignore what your mind says about you.
This morning, after almost 2 decades of spending every morning listing what& #39;s wrong with me, filing it away as a footnote for every good thing I do throughout the day. I realized that today it doesn& #39;t matter.
Today, the world is on fire, and murder hornets are buzzing around and people are dying, and that& #39;s so much more important than my perceived value of my imperfect flesh suit. Today I& #39;m ok with the fact that my eyes aren& #39;t the same shape and my stomach jiggles.
I& #39;m not saying I LIKE those things, but for me, and I& #39;m sure a lot of other folks who suffer from body dysmorphia, simply accepting that you don& #39;t need to waste energy trying to fix them right now is a huge step.
The whole world is rightfully in a state of chaos right now. I& #39;m pleased to have found this evasive bit of inner peace, all things considered. And I know it& #39;s really hard, and I know everything is uncertain,
But I think trying to give yourself a break for the hurtful things we considered routine before the world went to shit is one of the best personal victories we can hope for right now.
#QuarantineLife #Quarantine #selfimprovement #gettingbetter #giveyourselfabreak
#QuarantineLife #Quarantine #selfimprovement #gettingbetter #giveyourselfabreak
