Mother’s Day is a weird day for me. I have a good relationship with my own mom, although we don’t see eye-to-eye on everything. But it’s weird because I’m pretty much the only one in my family that is married and has chosen to not have children yet

In my extended family, having a kid within your first year of marriage is pretty much the norm. All of my married cousins-even the younger ones- have kids. My first few years of being married it was a constant question. “When is it your turn? When are you gonna start a family?”

After almost 7 years of marriage that question has finally stopped. I know I’m never going to *have* my own kids. Not that I can’t- I actually don’t know, because we’ve never tried. But because I don’t want to. And that’s okay. If we ever decide we want kids, we’re going to adopt

Women are so often defined by our roles in other people’s’ lives. We’re called wives and mothers and daughters first, and rarely seen for who we are on our own. I think that’s partially why I’ve resisted becoming a mom. Being defined as that first and foremost terrifies me.

I’ve seen so many people become parents and lose themselves in the process, and I don’t want that.

I don’t really know where this thread is headed other than to say this: today can be hard for a lot of people. Whether you’re childless by choice or by circumstance, it doesn’t define you or your worth in this world.

If you ARE a mom or parental figure and feeling lost in that role, know that I see you for more than that.