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I am the granddaughter of Geraldine Youcha.
- a #mothersday2020
with #RealCollege relevance, inspired by #DaughtersOf
- a #mothersday2020
with #RealCollege relevance, inspired by #DaughtersOf
My grandma was extraordinary.
She was born in 1925 and graduated from @NorthwesternU @MedillSchool in 1946.
She was an accomplished journalist with 4 books, and she appeared on Oprah to talk about this one.
She was born in 1925 and graduated from @NorthwesternU @MedillSchool in 1946.
She was an accomplished journalist with 4 books, and she appeared on Oprah to talk about this one.
She had a wonderful lap for cuddling, and here she is with my youngest in 2010.
And yes, she cooked. Her spinakopita, bizcochos, brownies, and lasagna were my favorites.
And yes, she cooked. Her spinakopita, bizcochos, brownies, and lasagna were my favorites.
But she was so much more— because my grandma had #wisdom about what it meant to be a mom with a real career.
And she knew what it meant to be a #writer who was trying to change the world with her words.
This was her last book
And she knew what it meant to be a #writer who was trying to change the world with her words.
This was her last book
Minding the Children is an attempt at a systematic history of childcare.
We clearly need one, since as the book points out we have been making the same mistakes over and over forever-there is a “curious amnesia” in her words.
We clearly need one, since as the book points out we have been making the same mistakes over and over forever-there is a “curious amnesia” in her words.
The pendulum swings where privilege exists to let it do so.
My great-grandma worked full time in a shop with her husband. My grandma was a “latchkey” kid.
So when my mom was born, Grandma quit her full time job to stay home.
My great-grandma worked full time in a shop with her husband. My grandma was a “latchkey” kid.
So when my mom was born, Grandma quit her full time job to stay home.
But when I was born, my own mother decided to continue working full-time and put me in childcare.
Grandma objected but lost.
Later she wrote about me & my sister “I watched the girls move smoothly and happily from a baby-sitter at home to group care to after-school programs.”
Grandma objected but lost.
Later she wrote about me & my sister “I watched the girls move smoothly and happily from a baby-sitter at home to group care to after-school programs.”
Now, my mother arguably *had* to work for financial reasons and was also still pursuing her education, eventually getting a doctorate in education.
But Grandma was wrong. That childcare was not an experience that made me happy. Not at all.
But Grandma was wrong. That childcare was not an experience that made me happy. Not at all.
I recall feeling unsafe. I don’t know the specifics of why, just the generalized feeling that someone was meant to be frightened of.
I distinctly remember waiting and waiting to be picked up.
I know I wanted to be elsewhere.
These feelings left an impression.
I distinctly remember waiting and waiting to be picked up.
I know I wanted to be elsewhere.
These feelings left an impression.
That experience mattered when, as a doctoral student, I began studying the impacts of the 1996 welfare reform on the education of low-income women with children.
Our study showed:
That law made it infinitely harder to be a college student as a parent.
...
Our study showed:
That law made it infinitely harder to be a college student as a parent....
One key reason is that the supports needed to be successful were now more conspicuously missing. Things like on-campus childcare, sufficient cash flow, on-campus support- and a culture that recognized your value as a student AND a parent. Nothing was ok for these moms.
I wrote about some of those consequences over the years, while I went on to have two kids of my own.
This 2011 piece for “Future of Children” reflects my concerns about the stress that befalls both students and their kids when they aren’t supported. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20964137/
This 2011 piece for “Future of Children” reflects my concerns about the stress that befalls both students and their kids when they aren’t supported. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20964137/
I was learning about that stress a bit as I attempted to work full time on the tenure track while *not* engaging much childcare.
See, unlike my grandma or my mom, I intended to have it all. I’d be the world’s best professor *and* best mom.
Right?
See, unlike my grandma or my mom, I intended to have it all. I’d be the world’s best professor *and* best mom.
Right?
Lol.
7 months after my 1st child was born I had a full-blown case of postpartum depression. I had to take a semester of medical leave- and had to get my tenure committee’s permission to do so.
By the time I returned, I’d hire Stephanie for 20 hours a week. She was amazing.
7 months after my 1st child was born I had a full-blown case of postpartum depression. I had to take a semester of medical leave- and had to get my tenure committee’s permission to do so.
By the time I returned, I’d hire Stephanie for 20 hours a week. She was amazing.
I began to learn that other women could love my children too, and care for them in ways that complemented my own love.
For me, though, I spent on in-home care. I spent more than I earned. I could- I was married.
For me, though, I spent on in-home care. I spent more than I earned. I could- I was married.
Fast forward. My tenure committee warned against having a second child.
Nevertheless, I persisted.
My amazing daughter was born. I still didn’t have tenure. And I was coming apart at the seams.
I called Grandma.
Nevertheless, I persisted.
My amazing daughter was born. I still didn’t have tenure. And I was coming apart at the seams.
I called Grandma.
I re-explained my plan to Grandma.
I’d grow a new research center, earn tenure, write books, win awards, and I would be BEST MOM EVER to two kids, while nursing each til they were at least 18 months old.
She laughed. Hard.
I’d grow a new research center, earn tenure, write books, win awards, and I would be BEST MOM EVER to two kids, while nursing each til they were at least 18 months old.
She laughed. Hard.
She said “Who do you think you are? Why would you be able to do that when no one else ever has? You are what, Superman?”
I can still feel the lump in my throat.
Then she schooled me. She was living on the Upper East Side of NY and knew rich women. I didn’t.
“Act like them.”
I can still feel the lump in my throat.
Then she schooled me. She was living on the Upper East Side of NY and knew rich women. I didn’t.
“Act like them.”
I protested- we don’t have the money.
She said— act like you do, or you won’t have the career.
She told me to spend spend spend/ hire hire hire. Hire help for anything I could outsource. And hire top-notch childcare FT in my home so I could keep nursing.
So I did.
She said— act like you do, or you won’t have the career.
She told me to spend spend spend/ hire hire hire. Hire help for anything I could outsource. And hire top-notch childcare FT in my home so I could keep nursing.
So I did.
Enter Nanny Sharon. And Stephanie came back. And Patrice. And between those three women and eventually Itzel, we made it.
There were moments, like this one
http://eduoptimists.blogspot.com/2010/05/milk-madness.html?m=1
There were moments, like this one
http://eduoptimists.blogspot.com/2010/05/milk-madness.html?m=1
And yes, when my youngest was 5 my husband and I divorced.
Honestly, *something* had to give.
But I nursed those babies and I loved them like crazy, and they traveled with me, and my career bloomed. And we named the cat Pell and the dog Bernie...
And it’s been everything.
Honestly, *something* had to give.
But I nursed those babies and I loved them like crazy, and they traveled with me, and my career bloomed. And we named the cat Pell and the dog Bernie...
And it’s been everything.
Every time I think I have an unresolvable problem, I do what Grandma taught me. I reach for other women to help. And I reach for money.
And therein, of course, lies the massive gulf between me and the vast majority of student parents. The money simply isn’t there.
And therein, of course, lies the massive gulf between me and the vast majority of student parents. The money simply isn’t there.
This #MothersDay 
comes on the heels of the new report from @hope4college on the effects of those horrid work-first policies I wrote about 20 years ago and their aftermath.
Nothing is ok for student parents. https://hope4college.com/parenting-while-in-college-basic-needs-insecurity-among-students-with-children/
comes on the heels of the new report from @hope4college on the effects of those horrid work-first policies I wrote about 20 years ago and their aftermath. Nothing is ok for student parents. https://hope4college.com/parenting-while-in-college-basic-needs-insecurity-among-students-with-children/
Take a look at that gorgeous new photos from @SHSFunds - see what these parents are fighting for.
And then look at the evidence behind the pictures, and see the policy challenge before us.
My Grandma would be sad and not at all surprised. https://www.shs.foundation/seldin-haring-smith-getty-images/student-parents
And then look at the evidence behind the pictures, and see the policy challenge before us.
My Grandma would be sad and not at all surprised. https://www.shs.foundation/seldin-haring-smith-getty-images/student-parents
We have systematically diminished the opportunities for parents to get an education and help their kids to the point that when they do go to college it looks like this
This is a poverty trap. It is meant to demoralize and compromise the lives of low-income parents, and it is NOT a coincidence that the biggest effects fall on women whose skin is markedly more pigmented than mine.
Look at what this does to them
Look at what this does to them
We have centuries of evidence on the importance of high quality affordable childcare and yet we refuse to provide it.
The cruelty is the point.
The cruelty is the point.
Grandma always said that sociology is the statement of the obvious, and I’ve always fought to make it more. We write for change.
We must halt the pendulum and bend the arc towards justice.
Let’s not simply applaud parenting students today— let’s SUPPORT them.
We must halt the pendulum and bend the arc towards justice.
Let’s not simply applaud parenting students today— let’s SUPPORT them.
Please follow these folks and decide how you will help @SupportGenHope @LAVCFRC @FamilyScholars @CarrieRWelton @IWPResearch @AspenAscend @AchieveTheDream @CLASP_DC @SHSFunds @ImaginableFut @ECMCFoundation @BelieveStudents @bmckib
@SupportGenHope @LAVCFRC @FamilyScholars @CarrieRWelton @IWPResearch @AspenAscend @AchieveTheDream @CLASP_DC @SHSFunds @ImaginableFut @ECMCFoundation @BelieveStudents @bmckib
And hey, if you want to learn more about my Grandma, here’s a little site I put together when she died. You can see from my Poppa’s face, shining here on my bar mitzvah day, how much we adored her.
(Cc @soledadobrien)
http://geraldineyoucha.blogspot.com/
(Cc @soledadobrien)
http://geraldineyoucha.blogspot.com/
I’m truly a very lucky mama.
