My incoherent thoughts on #Outlander S5 finale, #NeverMyLove - A thread

***BEWARE FOR SPOILERS if you haven’t yet watched it - please mute this thread***

I was on tenter hooks before the episode, and then those opening scenes with the staccato drum beats which echoed my own heartbeat and heightened my fear for Claire.

#Outlander #NeverMyLove

Claire dissociating herself from what was happening broke my heart over and over because this imagined life was perfect. Her loved ones alive and well. Murtagh & Jocasta, Fergus with his hands and Ian as a soldier, a man of worth #Outlander #NeverMyLove

And Jamie. His hair and clothes reminiscent of the Jamie she first met and fell in love with. And this, for me, highlighted that Jamie is the centre of her universe. That all the things she loves most, begin with him, with their love
#Outlander #NeverMyLove

The parallels sucker punched me.
The vase she always wanted, the rabbit that appeared to dying Jamie at Culloden, the plaid he wrapped her in to keep her safe & warm when they first met, the orange when she sacrificed herself to Louis to save Jamie #Outlander #NeverMyLove

I noticed how in one scene she imagined Jamie wrapping the plaid around her, but in another it was plain. This hurt big, because to me it showed her strength ebbing as she was having to work harder to remove herself mentally from what was happening #Outlander #NeverMyLove

I can not comprehend one of my children dying.
Claire does. To remind herself that what was happening to her was brutal and terrible but there are *worse* things. This was her way of surviving.
@caitrionambalfe killed me here
#Outlander #NeverMyLove

The looks of fear and helplessness and rage. Jamie, Ian and Fergus never falter in knowing what they must do for her. She is the centre of their family.
#Outlander #NeverMyLove

“You are alive. You are whole.“

#Outlander #NeverMyLove

And you are home. With your family who love you

This trio of strong, resilient women has been a highlight of season 5 for me. Brava ladies for playing your characters so bloody well that I wish they were real and that they were my squad
#Outlander #NeverMyLove

Special mention to @LlaurenLyle for fast becoming one of my favourite characters. The heart, soul and fierceness you brought to Marsali was incredible. I stan
#Outlander #NeverMyLove

“I love you” and “If my last words are not ‘I love you’, ye’ll ken it’s because I didna have time”.

Quietly spoken but such impact. My heart started to mend again.

Despite the looming storm/trouble ahead, Jamie&Claire together as it should be
#Outlander #NeverMyLove

Finishing with the heartbeat, blood flow, absolute centre of this story; Jamie & Claire & their love for each other?
BRAVO #Outlander
I may have run the gamut of emotions, been to hell & back & feel emotionally spent. But it was worth it & I’d do it ALL again
#NeverMyLove

One last thing, if you think I’ll EVER be over this you got another think coming.

“Christ you’re a brave, wee thing”

“How do you feel?”

“Safe.”