"Sweetheart, Pretend
You Don't Know"

-- a fan dissertation on #MewGulf; a thead.

Sweetheart, love is sweet as it is strange. It follows neither rhyme nor reason, neither gender nor race, but humans are fickle, & judgmental, & disparaging.
Sweetheart, if you see love blossoming between Mew Suppasit and Gulf Kanawut, hear my plea and pretend you don't know. For the love between a man and a man, is not as simple as that of a man and a woman.
------
dissertation
by Sen_Sibella

1. Please remember to give credit when reposting. 😊
2. Bring tissues maybe.
3. Read at your own risk.
In Buddhism, they believe that the highest physical state is to be born a man, because then, one can be enlightened and become Buddha.

Sweetheart, Mew and Gulf are both decent and hard-working Buddhist men.

In Buddhism, they also believe that being born gay is negative karma.
They believe that being gay is bad karma for committing adulterous affairs in the previous life.

Being born gay or as an "in-between" increases the person's suffering, and thus, prevents that person from reaching enlightenment.
Sweetheart, when Mew and Gulf call themselves as "Phi-Nong who love each other", please smile, nod and by all means, give your approval. Cheer for them, support them, and wholeheartedly love them.
Remember, it is perfectly normal for brothers to hang-out, share things with each other and have sleep-overs. It's perfect because it provides them the perfect cover.

When you see them cuddling, hugging and being sweet, remember they are brothers, and pretend you don't know.
Pretend you don't know that love echoes loudly, not in the biggest and grandest of gestures, but in the daily, the mundane, and in the littlest of all interactions.
Sweetheart, pretend you didn't see how Mew initially had his guard up because he was once burned. Pretend you didn't know that Gulf knew about it, and yet consistently stayed.
Pretend you don't notice how Gulf behaves differently when he's with Mew, or that it's normal for Mew to hold his temper when in fact he's known to be hot-headed.

It's like a game, you see.
We all pretend that our squeals are not because they bring us the most potent of butterflies in the pit of our stomach. And the mists in our eyes are not from overwhelming feelings caused by witnessing a blossoming real-life love story between two men.

And they pretend, too.
They pretend that they are just Phi-Nong who really, really, REALLY love each other. They pretend that calling and texting each other everyday is for work, and even the sleepovers are ALSO for work. Let's pretend we didn't hear it from Gulf, or that it meant anything at all.
Sweetheart, you and I both know that love means a constant heart. Much like how Mew had been a guiding hand to Gulf from the start.

Love is patience when things don't go our way, and persistence when things get rough. Much like Gulf's presence when Mew was hated for Tharn.
Then again, please remember my plea, Sweetheart, pretend you don't know. For society is not as loving, as understanding, and as forgiving as you and me.

Remember, Sweetheart, in their line of work, they can just easily be as hated as they are loved.
For humans are fickle, and judgmental and disparanging. And words are double-edged swords that may be used for good or evil depending on the person who wield them.

Mew's hard-work had been all for nought before, all because of a person's words. Remember this.
So you and I, Sweetheart, we will pretend.

We will watch, observe and squeal in delight for them. We will ship them, make artworks, video edits and write stories about them, and more than all of these, we will protect them.
Because, Sweetheart, when you protect something, you guard it, you don't expose it to the elements, and you do everything in your power to preserve it and make it bloom.

This is our task, we pretend and protect.
Keep in mind that Mew and Gulf are actors. In the law of supply and demand, the more fans they have, the greater their demand, and the more projects they will get.

To see more of Mew's smiles, to witness more of Gulf's charm, we need to pretend that they are just brothers.
Pretend you don't see romance in the way Mew's hand automatically reach out for Gulf. Pretend you don't see love in the way Gulf looks at Mew.

Let's pretend that the phrase "The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" means exactly as it does. Or that 8 is just a number.
Let's pretend that the comments they leave on each other's IG accounts are just pure fan-service and queer-baiting, or that we don't know that even their own Moms tease them to each other.
Sweetheart, Gulf is pretty oblivious of everything, except when it concerns Mew, but let's pretend we don't know that. Let's pretend that it's normal for brothers to countdown to the New Year's, or spend Valentine's Day together.

What's so special about those?
Take this to heart, until and unless they make an official annoucement, one that is not prompted through an interview, one that is not hypothetical, or preceded by the word 'maybe' (Maybe 'fan'), pretend you don't know.
Again, Sweetheart, love is patience.

Love can be as simple as a surprise birthday appearance during Gulf's first fan-meeting. It can also be a surprise birthday greeting for Mew just a little before midnight after a hectic day. Basically, actions that require conscious effort.
But also, Sweetheart, love screams loudest when it's subtle.

Like how Mew uploaded a blacked out video of himself singing ไม่ธรรมดา by Bell Supol after his birthday and fans suspected that Gulf slept over.
You and I both know that the current LGBTQ climate is unsteady at best, and coming out publicly with a relationship is only for the bravest of the brave.

Mew & Gulf have only known each other for a little more than year. It's important to give them space to grow for each other.
Sweetheart, you and I will pretend that we don't see love in different shades, degrees, and palettes when we see MewGulf.

Red in Gulf's cheeks & ears when he's flustered. Green when they shot a wedding-themed video. Yellow for Mew's head on Gulf's shoulders in a script-reading.
Blue when they shot the final scenes for Tharntype and had a cute fight. Brown like the shirt they wore on Woody's live where we were treated to Gulf initiating advances on Mew. Orange for their Chinese New Year event, and because Gulf is sweeter than oranges.
Sweeheart, you and I know the truth. That there is love in the many teas that Gulf have spilled thus far. That there is affection in Mew's shoulder-squeezes when Gulf is faced with tricky questions. That their desires quickly spread like wildfire in the NC scenes that they do.
We can't deny that there is love even in the most miniscule of interactions between them.

In chopper's jealousy, in Gulf's hesitant touches with Mew, and even in Mew's careful, well-thought out answers to questions in interviews.

We can't deny all of these, but we can pretend.
So far, Mew and Gulf are Phi-Nong who love each other. They are Bii and Boo. Mew is Gulf's Daddy. They are "close friends" who also maybe "boyfriend/girlfriend".

These are all very vague descriptions short of an official admission. It's frustrating, I know.
Sweetheart, think of it this way: if we, as mere spectators, feel this frustrated, imagine how much more frustrating it is for them who are directly involved?

Imagine Mew wanting to announce to the whole world how much he loves Gulf, but can't, for fear of repercussions.
Think of Gulf. He's straightforward and simple. He's not as refined or as cool as Mew in interviews. Imagine all the teas he has spilled thus far because of frustration.

Sweetheart, like I said, we pretend, and they pretend, too.
I know all this pretending is exhausting for you. I feel the same way, too. But don't worry. When you feel sad, weary, or tired, we're here for you. All of us. We will release all the potent butterflies in our stomachs caused by Mew and Gulf. We will scream, shout, and squeal.
We will giggle and fawn over NC MewGulf fan-artworks, watch countless fan-edited MewGulf videos, and read obscene amounts of MewGulf fanfics, both NC and not alike.

We will drown our sorrows by celebrating MewGulf's love within the safe confines of our fandom.
From one #Waanjai to another, Sweetheart, we will all be alright.

I am confident that time will come when Mew and Gulf will finally face the world with eyes sparkling with smiles, hands in each other's, and with hearts full of love.
And when they finally do, we will be there with our fan artworks, our fan-vids, and our fanfics. And all this pretending, every frustrating minute of it, will all be worth it.

For now though, Sweetheart, we wait, and we pretend we don't know anything.

--- FIN.
You can follow @Sen_Sibella.
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