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i dont deal with my friends emotions by sending long paragraphs telling them off about everything theyve done, or by getting angry at them.
what i do, is first try to talk through what theyre feeling, and why.
then, i try to help figure out how to fix the problem with them.
if those two dont work, i tell them to go take a break. this helps them calm down enough to make rational decisions.
once they come back, i ask them how theyre doing. if they respond that theyre better, i can continue helping them. if they say it didnt really help, i make some suggestions for things they can do to get their head clear.
once theyre almost completely calm after either step two or the breaks, then i start helping them form a plan to avoid the problem. it has to be related to the problem, and something that they agree on else they wont use it or listen.
once i finish all of that, i make sure that theyre okay, and see if theres anything else i can help them with or if there is anything else theyre upset about.
there will probably be lots of explaining and talking in between steps, thats normal since people always want to say everything they have to say.
because of that, this is not a short process. some cases may even take all day to sort out, but it usually takes an hour or two.
try not to take anything they say to heart! theyre often just speaking out of the hurt theyre feeling, and dont actually mean it. but if youre unsure, wait a while until you know theyre all better and ask them if they meant what they said.
try not to say any hurtful things your self! this can happen if you didnt do the above, and now youre trying to fight fire with fire, insult with insult. instead of fighting back, try to calm yourself and the other person involved.
keep in mind: this may not work for everyone! everyone is different and approaches problems differently. this is just how i solve problems and differences with my friends.
please please please, always confront your problems and differences before its too late! if you dont, it isnt healthy for you and those feelings will eventually come out, even at a bad time. so please, talk through your feelings before something bad happens!
