1. Why is the government so rubbish?

Cast your mind back. It wasn’t meant to be this way.

This was meant to be the government whose decisive, unflinching, radical approach would address the mistakes of the May regime and lead the country gloriously forward.

2. Instead, in an unintentionally ironic repeat of the May regime, the government can’t get anything right and is mocked at every turn: the tests target fiasco, the apparently missing EU procurement emails and now this incomprehensible new slogan.

3. t is almost as if the pandemic has made the government forget who it is. The ruthless determination, the vicious laser-like focus that characterised the first phase of the Johnson government has been replaced by a woeful parade of vaccilation, excuses and incompetence.

4. Does anyone remember that this was the government that was so determined to get Brexit done (in its own way, naturally) that it sacked a whole slew of Conservative MPs?

How times have changed.

5. And yes, the pandemic is a dramatically different and worse situation but rather than rising to the challenge the government is slumped against the ropes like a promising boxer in his first bout who is discovered to have a glass jaw.

(Bit unfair but not a bad metaphor).

6. But let your imagination wander for a few idle moments (what else is there to do) and think of a government that did act with this sort of ruthless determination.

7. But this time not to for Brexit but to strain every sinew, leave no stone unturned (other cliches are available but I’m in pundit character) to make sure that everything is done with the sole objective of getting the country through this terrible crisis as well as possible.

8. Because nothing else matters.

9. The very best and most comprehensive scientific advice should not just be followed (or be guided by, who can tell) but understood, engaged with and transparently explained.

10. The messaging must have the clarity of a flawless diamond.

(That one’s a bit better)

11. Incompetents should be sacked out of hand and the finest talents promoted irrespective of their politics.

12. Backbench carping must be mercilessly punished.

13. The views of the Opposition and the devolved administrations should be embraced with no boundaries.

14. Even Brexit, the holy crusade, must be put to one side because, compared to the pandemic, it is no longer important.

15. And you may ask yourself does this government have what it takes or will it be the same as it ever was?

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16. Maybe it doesn’t. There is little evidence that it does.

17. But I take a strange comfort in political ambition.

18. The pandemic is the most terrible of challenges...

Fail and be forever regarded as one of the worst governments in British history.