ive been thinking recently and i want know if people actually enjoy my streams because im in this constant state of dissatisfaction with myself and what i do. i just feel as if i have no motivation or any drive to do anything and im obligated to stream because i would be letting

you guys down if i stopped. it may just be me thinking too much and doubting myself, but im not sure what it is anymore. the reason why stopped playing overwatch is because not only i didnt enjoy it, but because i didnt think anyone enjoyed watching it aswell. this situation has

been affecting my real life aswell, i dont eat as much, i have no motivation to do any of my schoolwork, i dont talk to my family, i've just been, for lack of better words, depressed. ive just been living in my head lately and its like a maze with no end.

i havent been open about this topic since an incident that happened more than half a year ago and its been eating me up inside. thank you to the friends that have been making the days easier. thank you for the support that you've given me. and im sorry if ive been acting rude

to any of you because i just needed to an poor excuse to get my frustrations out. i may do it again, but just remember its not in spite of you. if any of you have a similar feeling (aka. dissatisfaction, unmotivated, etc.) im always here to talk despite my feelings right now <3