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I’ve only just realized I have PTSD from my varsity days..... a thread
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If you know anything about me.. you would know I struggled in varsity and ended up leaving UP (before they threw me out a second time) and starting afresh at UJ
At the end of third year I had failed taxation 3A and it was the last subject I had to pass before getting my qualification. I had a sup to write that January and if I passed it, I would graduate in March...
I didn’t pass it.. so I had to reregister and do a whole semester for one subject (I know so many people have had this and it’s the worst!!)
Fast forward to the end of the semester And while I was waiting for my exam result I had this dream... in it.. I got my results and I had failed and would have had to wait a whole year to repeat the subject yet again.. after 6 and a half years this just seemed a bit much
Got my result. Passed .. YAY! I got a job 3 months later, graduated 3 weeks after getting the job.. and got married 3 months after graduating... everything is amazing
Yet I continued to have this dream... same dream each time ... and each time I would wake up feeling like the life I had been living was a dream and the dream was the life I was living! Each and every single time (for atleast a minute) i would be in complete panic
It’s been almost 4 years since I got confirmation that I could graduate. And I am a practicing accountant and now... even a mom! And I have this dream atleast once a month. Last time I had it was about two weeks ago
I have been so reluctant to go back to school... I am so scared to have to go through writing exams again and all these things but about a month before lockdown I registered as a CIMA student and paid for registration and my exemptions
I’m hoping that getting back on that horse will help me heal... even though I don’t feel it’s a big deal.. and that it’s not something I should still think about clearly something inside me disagrees.
I think the point of this thread is just to let people know that... we are all different people and different things have traumatized us and so many of us are broken without even knowing it (I really didn’t think I had an issue until recently) so don’t be so hard on yourself
