The final verdict is in: I'm not starting my lab in academia. Over the past 2 years I applied to 50 faculty positions. I had 3 onsite interviews but no offers. I had promised myself not to chase this 20 yo dream beyond the age of 40 and so with that, I put a full-stop. 1/8

Friends & mentors who tell me not to give up etc miss the point. It’s not about giving up, it’s about knowing there’s more out there than being a professor. There have been two ‘eye-openers’ over the past several months. 2/8

1) While unemployed for 7 months (and waiting to hear back from academia), I was forced to exit the ecosystem I was used to, and I survived. In fact, I thrived intellectually with the freedom. 3/8

2) And while I never wanted to work for a company, I had never considered working for my own company. CSO of a startup is like starting your own lab. 4/8

The thing about dreams is that they are so vivid & engulfing while you're dreaming, but once you open your eyes you can hardly remember details. I’m having a bit of that with my dream of becoming a prof. It feels like a non-issue now. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t disappointed. 5/8

The main emotion I had with the rejections was, well, a sense of rejection. Maybe getting dumped by a douchebag is an equivalent feeling: After the mutually expressed interest, wining and dining, there’s the ghosting and then the ‘it’s me not you’ message. 6/8

On a karmameter, I think these rejections offset my douchebag footprint back to zero. I’m keeping it that way. Recently Colorna sought talent and I tailored every rejection to the person applying and explain where the gap was. It’s time consuming, but genuine. While dating… 7/8

… just kidding, not going there. So, with that I’ll try not to be that parent who incessantly shows off their newborns (isn’t @colornase adorable?) or that friend showing off their bae (isn’t @colornase gorgeous?). I’m glad I’m alive, healthy and doing the things I enjoy. 7/7