Thread

For @SnooZoes

Okay. I'll talk about it.

To a certain extent.

I was never a believer in God or an afterlife or anything like that.

I wasn't a DISBELIEVER; I wasn't an atheist.

I just couldn't comprehend how any such phenomena could exist.

My family was Catholic, but it was "Sin on Saturday, repent on Sunday."

I didn't like any of it.

During Mass, even the priest seemed bored.

And the nuns seemed to really get off on beating the hell out of kids.

Every self-proclaimed devout person I met was pretty despicable.

The common them was, "I can do whatever I want if I just say I'm sorry afterward."

I was never a seeker; tons of people tried to recruit me into their religions or belief systems or cults.

I'm NOT equating the three. And I'm certainly not down on religious or spiritual people.

I'm just relating my own personal experiences, but I was dragged from hellhole to hellhole, so of course my experiences aren't applicable to the entire concept of religion or spirituality.

When I was 38 years old, I decided that I had to try as hard as I could to improve.

I was a druggie, alcoholic, chain-smoker and chronically underemployed mess.

One by one, I solved each ofd those issues, but I still kept hooking up with psychos.

So I had to see what was up. Self-help hadn't worked.

The second-most vicious woman I dated was a psychologist.

She harassed me from 1996 to 2013.

Here's was she looked like in 1996. Exactly.

After my mother's funeral in 2013--I wasn't able to attend because of an incurable medical condition that gets really bad when I'm under stress--I went to Mom's house for a get-together of her friends.

A big, fat, dyed-haired old woman greeted me.

I said hello without knowing who she was.

It took me a full five minutes to recognize my ex-girlfriend by her voice.

She'd destroyed her face with cosmetic surgery and put on 200 pounds.

Most astonishing transformation I've ever seen.

We'd just put Mom into the ground after one of the worst deaths imaginable, so it wasn't even a question of burying the hatchet.

It didn't even matter anymore. We were both in our fifties, the person who linked us was dead, so there was nothing to forgive.

But I'll be goddamned if she didn't take up where she'd left off a couple years earlier.

The day after was spoke, she sent me an e-mail saying she was going to sue me for libel by writing about the post-funeral get-together.

And she called.

Her shtick was to scream like Hitler.

So I just laughed.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "You're going to be dead in less than ten years. Are you going to scream at the Angel of Death? He's just going to laugh at you, the way I am."

I started mimicking her screaming, and then I chanted something I'd heard in kindergarten:

Fatty Fatty ten-by-four
Can't get through the bathroom door
So she does it on the floor
Licks it up and does some more

That cracked me up so much that I really lost it.

Somewhere in the storm of laughter, she hung up, and I haven't heard from her since.

After 18 months of absolutely grueling psychotherapy, I had one final relationship that was the worst ever.

So I gave up on relationships.

After doing tons of research on a certain type of crime that had impacted personally and made me the total emotional cripple that I am, I had a realization:

The people doing this stuff are possessed.

But not in the way people think.

The fictional possession is when a demon enters you and you end up helplessly going along for the ride.

That's absolutely untrue.

Demonic possession is entirely volitional. You AGREE to every step and decision.

The demon is the whispering voice in your former soul.

Because of my upbringing, I was left with terrible thoughts.

They weren't DESIRES; I never WANTED to do terrible things.

And they weren't even fantasies.

Serial killers all say the same thing, that they were tortured by desires that they finally HAD to give in to.

They're letting themselves off the hook.

It doesn't matter what was done to you.

If you CHOOSE to do those things to others, that makes YOU evil.

Period.

Fear of hell didn't make me refrain from committing evil. I'd been in hell all my life.

The only reason I didn't commit suicide was that I was afraid that there WAS an afterlife, and I'd feel horrible for all eternity.

I used to have nightmares of being dead, and NOTHING HAD CHANGED.

No, the reason I didn't commit evil was that I knew it was wrong.

Nothing added up when it came to murderers. Everyone seemed bent on making excuses.

I'm neither pro nor anti capital punishment. As long as person never gets the opportunity to prey on others, whatever option people choose is fine by me.

But when I realized that ALL evildoers choose to do so, and I realized that there's an eerie similarity to all these people, I understood that demons exists.

Again, not horned humanoids but more like brainless spirits that feed on suffering.

I really started pondering all this stuff, and little by little everything started making sense.

There's a logic to everything.

"How can a just and merciful God allow bad things to happen to good people?"

Well, what do you want? Life as an antelope in a safari park?

GOD doesn't mess with you; REALITY messes with you.

I decided that the role God plays is to provide us strength and to help us grow and learn.

And with THAT, it started happening.

We're getting signs, all the time. But unless you're open to them, you won't see them.

Both my brother and I had near-death experiences (NDEs) that were completely different except that they both culminated in us being shown a kind of master plan that we immediately understood, but when we returned to earth, we couldn't remember what it was.

I was finally able to grasp concepts such as the notion that time doesn't exist outside the temporal plane.

As long as we live in three dimensions, there's time.

But after we leave his plane, there's no time.

I also understood how you can be both an individual AND a part of everything else at the same time.

The thing to remember is that the Planner is benign.

Easily the most profound book about this is Dr. Pim van Lommel's Consciousness Beyond Life: The Science of the Near Death Experience.

He created experiments that have been replicated multiple times.

What he discovered is that WE OURSELVES determine what happens after we die.

The movie Defending Your Life is I think exactly the process, in a slightly different form.

It's a shame that everyone involved in the film is a giant butthole in real life, but the concept is valid.

Dr. van Lommel found--and I agree--is that after you die, you must TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your decisions.

If you DO, you can move on.

Everything is based on PERCEPTION.

People are blind to @realDonaldTrump because this is a spiritual issue.

If you hate him or think he's somehow disreputable, that says everything about YOU.

Refusing to grow blinds you.

Logic tells me that we are reincarnated until we reach a level of knowledge and development that allows us to stop coming back.

Do we arrive at Nirvana?

No idea.

But I trust the system, so I don't worry.

If you refuse to take responsibility, you can't move forward.

You can come back without being reincarnated, but you can't exist in the temporal plane.

In other words, you're a ghost. You're confused and angry.

You can get out of that mess at any time.

But souls refuse to do it.

I've begun to see these things. I saw one a few nights ago. He was someone I once knew.

He was searching the pavement at the drive-through with a flashlight, and he was speaking in several voices.

I'm not afraid of these things.

But as this one approached my car, he said, "I'd watch what I said if I were you."

When I looked at him through the front passenger window, he said, "Yeah, YOU!"

Then he went onto the sidewalk and winked out.

My car is essentially soundproof when the windows are rolled up.

His voice was in my head.

He was talking about my memoir. He was one of the people I wrote about, not using his real name. He died in 2012.

Along with the dark visions, you also get signs to not give up.

As I said, the role of God or the Planner is to give you strength.

I don't follow any religion. I'm a non-religious theist.

So I have no opinion on religions in terms of which one is "right."

It's possible that they're ALL right.

When you get into quantum mechanics, you discover things that are indistinguishable from magic.

Things can exist in diametrically opposed states simultaneously.

So my coal-powered brain can't explain what I know.

But the more you see, the more you see.

Things become crystal clear.

Most human negativity is based on fear of death.

But is simply walking into another room.

"Believe in science!"

Okay.

The Law of the Conservation of Energy states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only converted from one form of energy to another.

A system always has the same amount of energy, unless it's added from the outside.

That there, ladies and gentlemen, is the scientific proof of both an afterlife AND God.

Nobody can argue that we humans are animated by energy. That which makes us alive IS ENERGY.

If energy can't be destroyed, that means it exists in another form after our bodies die.

And a system will always have the same amount of energy unless more is added from the outside.

God adding souls.

See, I believe that as souls no longer return for another life, new souls are added.

This also accounts for increases in populations.

People deny all of this because they're afraid.

I got where I am by confronting all of my fears.

Until there were none left.

END