Read on Twitter
My toilet paper—a short story. 1/20
You may have heard about some hoarding of toilet paper that started in Hawaiʻi, oh back at the beginning of March or so. This is a phenomenon that occurs every time there’s a chance of catastrophe. Hurricanes, tsunami, earthquakes, swarms of murder hornets, things like that. 2/20
It’s a Island tradition rooted in history: https://www.staradvertiser.com/2020/03/06/hawaii-news/lee-cataluna/lee-cataluna-hawaii-has-long-history-of-hoarding-toilet-paper/?HSA=fc502c4525439409f21761aa93fab6d0825c5fe2">https://www.staradvertiser.com/2020/03/0...
3/20
3/20
But I don’t hoard—well, not practical things like toilet paper. Meanwhile, I can’t resist a cute notebook or a purple pen. And, my TBR pile of books is at least twice my height. 4/20
However, at the beginning of March, people were waiting in long lines at Costco just to get in and be told the TP was gone. Our family is sane, so we just buy one Costco pack at a time and get another one when we’re at maybe two rolls left. 5/20
Well, Hubster had bought our Costco pack and we were making steady progress on it. We’re both working (for which we are thankful!) and don’t have time to stand in long lines. 6/20
So I figured I should order some TP. 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😊" title="Smiling face with smiling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with smiling eyes"> I ordered it on 3/15. 10 rolls, “professional quality, “silky & smooth.” 7/20
The deliver date was like the time frame for a cable guy’s visit on steroids: April 2-22. I didn’t care, at least I knew it was coming. Remember, I’m not a hoarder. 8/20
I got my first update on 3/28. The TP has shipped. 4/2 came and went. In the meantime, Hubster found some TP in the wilds of Foodland 9/20
We feasted in his honor 10/20
4/22 came and went. Hubster braved Costco one day and was able to get another Costco pack (we were at the 3 rolls left stage by that point). We were going to cancel our order, but, we’d already paid for it, and if it means less trips to the store, why not keep the order https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤷🏻♀️" title="Woman shrugging (light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman shrugging (light skin tone)"> 11/20
My updates now said 4/27. Then 5/2. Every day I was watching the many deliveries being made up and down the street—only to see there was no TP 12/20
Then, on Tuesday—I saw a delivery that looked like it could be 10 rolls of toilet paper! 13/20
But it wasn’t. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🚫" title="No entry sign" aria-label="Emoji: No entry sign">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧻" title="Roll of paper" aria-label="Emoji: Roll of paper">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😢" title="Crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Crying face">14/20
However TODAY was the day! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎉" title="Party popper" aria-label="Emoji: Party popper">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧻" title="Roll of paper" aria-label="Emoji: Roll of paper">15/20
We knew it wouldn’t be good when we saw the packaging:
16/20
16/20
Then I opened it. It said it was 10 rollshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✔️" title="Heavy check mark" aria-label="Emoji: Heavy check mark"> 3-ply https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❓" title="Red question mark ornament" aria-label="Emoji: Red question mark ornament">and “Silky Smooth” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❓" title="Red question mark ornament" aria-label="Emoji: Red question mark ornament">for businesses https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✔️" title="Heavy check mark" aria-label="Emoji: Heavy check mark">(if your business is the Keebler Elf cookie factory)
17/20
17/20
3-ply https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❓" title="Red question mark ornament" aria-label="Emoji: Red question mark ornament">and “Silky Smooth” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❓" title="Red question mark ornament" aria-label="Emoji: Red question mark ornament">for businesses https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✔️" title="Heavy check mark" aria-label="Emoji: Heavy check mark">(if your business is the Keebler Elf cookie factory) 17/20" title="Then I opened it. It said it was 10 rollshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✔️" title="Heavy check mark" aria-label="Emoji: Heavy check mark"> 3-ply https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❓" title="Red question mark ornament" aria-label="Emoji: Red question mark ornament">and “Silky Smooth” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❓" title="Red question mark ornament" aria-label="Emoji: Red question mark ornament">for businesses https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✔️" title="Heavy check mark" aria-label="Emoji: Heavy check mark">(if your business is the Keebler Elf cookie factory) 17/20">
3-ply https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❓" title="Red question mark ornament" aria-label="Emoji: Red question mark ornament">and “Silky Smooth” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❓" title="Red question mark ornament" aria-label="Emoji: Red question mark ornament">for businesses https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✔️" title="Heavy check mark" aria-label="Emoji: Heavy check mark">(if your business is the Keebler Elf cookie factory) 17/20" title="Then I opened it. It said it was 10 rollshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✔️" title="Heavy check mark" aria-label="Emoji: Heavy check mark"> 3-ply https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❓" title="Red question mark ornament" aria-label="Emoji: Red question mark ornament">and “Silky Smooth” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❓" title="Red question mark ornament" aria-label="Emoji: Red question mark ornament">for businesses https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✔️" title="Heavy check mark" aria-label="Emoji: Heavy check mark">(if your business is the Keebler Elf cookie factory) 17/20">
I mean, they’re snack sized! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
18/20
18/20
18/20" title="I mean, they’re snack sized! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> 18/20" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>
It also has the phrase “The feeling of falling in love with you!” written on the wrapper of each roll—like it’s trying to mesmerize me into not sending it back for a full refund.
19/20
19/20
It might be working... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😉" title="Winking face" aria-label="Emoji: Winking face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙃" title="Upside-down face" aria-label="Emoji: Upside-down face">
20/20
20/20
