Hear tune!

So I have an avocado tree on my property. After 4 years of not nearing fruit, my mother said to me that she is going to get the landscaper to cut down the tree.

I told her that under no uncertain terms, shall my tree be cut down & we had a small debate on the topic.
So the tree like it overheard us, because within 3 to 4 days blossoms were on the tree and it began to bear fruit.

I watched my pears grow with pride and joy. Gone in Carter& #39;s & bought fertiliser & added it to the soil. Patiently awaiting the day that it was time to pick & eat.
As the pears got bigger & it was soon time to pick, I started to call up family & friends; offering them avocados as I couldn& #39;t possibly eat all 60 something pears myself. I also remembered my mother often saying "If ya sell everything ya have, ya must buy everything ya want."
So I come home from work one evening, gone straight to the tree to check the process of my pears & decided they were ready. But it was already getting dark, so I picked the 6 lowest hanging pears I saw and decided I was going to harvest the rest bright & early the next morning.
Woke up the next morning, to my dismay... every last pear is gone. I https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😐" title="Neutral face" aria-label="Emoji: Neutral face">

60 something ****ing pears! Gone in a puff of smoke.

Some so & #39;n so came in the dead of night and harvested every single one. Ain& #39;t even say "lemme leave back to for him". ALL! GONE! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😡" title="Pouting face" aria-label="Emoji: Pouting face">
I shame now too, cause I promised way pears gran murr! I promised pears from St. Lucy to Christ Church and now gotta explain to all eager recipients why they would have any pear to eat longside their Sunday food https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏾‍♂️" title="Man facepalming (medium dark skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Man facepalming (medium dark skin tone)">
I vowed there and then that the next time I have pears that are soon ready, I will guard them with the viciousness of a hungry wolf. I was intent on placing my sword between somebody collarbone for my pears the next time a song boy violate.
Well, my mother knowing ny temper & that I have the propensity to go outside & kill somebody underneath the tree, she bought bicycle locks to secure all 4 gates around the house to prevent persons from easily pulling them & coming in. They would have to climb or jump to get in.
Well, pears are on the tree again, but they are so small I didn& #39;t think I had to go into guard dog mode yet.

But lo and behold! I was awoke to loud shouting and cursing last night.

"Wunna wicked is rassole! Wunna gine dead bad! Bad belly bitches, somebody gine kill wunna!!"
I ask myself, "Wait, we ain& #39;t on curfew?"

I was about to move when I thought hit me... "Man! We on curfew, fuck them. Whoever outside wanna fight could kill their one another. I ain moving!" So I rolled over and back to sleep...

It is only this morning I got the surprise news
My mother allowed me to know the woman was cursing us!!

She pull my gate, realise she couldn& #39;t get inside. Reach over the fencing to try to pick one and the chain link like it cut her, so my woman stand in the road and blister blind us for locking OUR property!!
Bajans gone mad! She cussing us cause she can& #39;t carry way OUR pears. Her head could be good?

I asked my mother, if she knew that why she ain& #39;t call me. "Cause I know you would go outside and put yourself in trouble."

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Face with rolling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Face with rolling eyes">
This is the best part now. I parked my car in the road just in front of the guardwall due to some left over construction material being left in the driveway.

You know she let the air out of one of my tyres https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😐" title="Neutral face" aria-label="Emoji: Neutral face">

When y& #39;all see me on the front page of the paper, don& #39;t be surprised.
I& #39;ve made my peace with God.
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