maybe I would have been more masc of center if I felt like it was ok to do so

like if I claimed masculinity I would just be forced to be like "oh yeah, male privilege has totally activated in me the second I came out" and that's just not part of my life, I can't access that

& if I didn't claim that I could now magically access patriarchy, that I would not be a complete man, or that I would be "misgendering" myself

even though misgendering should be determined by the individual experiencing it

so no, I actively held back masc experimentation

I have honestly heard so much hurtful, ridiculous, bullshit discourse in an effort to treat trans men as "real men" (they mean cis men)

& how it's ok to just drag trans men as a whole "cuz privilege"

I even felt guilty using he/him pronouns at first

how is this helping anyone

it might describe the experiences of binary men who conventionally transition

like how does it help as someone who is genderfluid, who presents fem & is literally never going to transition and just feels like a man *sometimes* because that's how I feel

literally you're all so toxic and gross about this, and the people who get fcking hurt are the mascs who pass the least, who are gnc, nonbinary, genderfluid, etc.

I'm never going to have an authentic way to even conditionally, occasionally call myself a man without this bs

if you feel like im somehow invalidating random other trans people I literally don't care

I'm tired of discourse that doesn't include what I experience, or claims that I must be lying and covering up ~toxic masculinity~ or something, idc what other trans people need any more

im gonna dip from twitter because you assholes are just gross and binarist and triggering, fuck y'all