Thread :

I wish more people talked about self-esteem for men.

When you think of the ideal man (maybe not yours perhaps, but the packaged and pushed ideal) you get the alpha-male.

You need to be above 5’10” to be meet the baseline requirement.
It’s abs or a no-go.
Deep voice that makes you quiver.
A jawline that could cut glass and if it doesn’t, what’s the point?
The list goes on.

These ideals get pushed down our throats as we grow up and while there’s a lot you can control from this, there’s a lot that you can’t. What makes it worse is that there’s consistent body shaming between men with the notion that they have “thicker” skin

so it doesn’t bother them as much. Apparently, a man shouldn’t feel the need to look a certain way but also should look a certain way. Because if he doesn’t, he’s just not it. But he also can’t be vain, because wanting to look good can either be douchey or effeminate.

And don’t get me started on that. That’s your doom.

I will never pretend as if the standards of beauty for women aren’t a million times worse and stricter. If you know me, you know how vocal I am about feminism and everything that comes with it. And bearing that in mind, any feminist will tell you that both these standards of

beauty (for men and women) are born out of toxic masculinity and the patriarchy. And my issue lies with that and the men and women who uphold it.

The past year for me has been a lot about understanding and accepting myself. I recently decided that I’m good looking and it’s oddly been uphill for me since. I feel very secure in my appearance, but I didn’t always. And I know a lot of men who don’t.

So this one’s for anyone who has insecurities that eat up their minds and keeps them from being their most happy and fulfilled self: you’re a king.