Kasplon: You're really into that romcom trope where a high powered, stressed out city type meets a wholesome country boy and learns to chill the fuck out

Stanpat: You're into two things - healthy marriages, and mengettingpegged

Stozier: Your ideal relationship dynamic is that meme that goes "Ho don't do it..." -does it- "Oh my God..."

Bichie: Your ideal relationship dynamic is also the "Ho don't do it" meme, except they take it in turns being the ho

Bev/Kay: Your ideal relationship dynamic is just girls being friends, gals being pals...

Richie/Connor: You're either cripplingly addicted to redemption arcs, or you're just super convinced that Eddie is straight

Reddie: You're a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of bickering

Bev/Eddie: You're a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of shared trauma

Steddie: You're a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of being done with Richie's bullshit

Streddie: This is the same joke a Steddie except you don't think being done with Richie's bullshit precludes wanting to fuck him

Don/Adrian: When you write fix it fic, you fix EVERYTHING

Stanlon: Your love of nerds is matched only by your belief that Bill does not have rights

Kaspscom: Your ideal relationship dynamic is big gentle dog/small angry cat