There were so many elements related to my promotion that were quite literally above me.. yes, I did the work and took specific actions that helped facilitate a positive outcome but.. my God, you have no idea how many fortuitous things had to align in a particular kind of way..

My partner who has been there every step of the way was really emphatic in telling me how much I've earned this. She is not wrong, but it is also true - and she knows this, too - that there's a LOT that I did not / do not consciously bring about that unfolds purposefully.

There are things that happen that I do not even understand as important until after the fact. Weeks or months later I'll be like "Oh, so *that's* why *that* had to happen at THAT precise moment." Or, "That's why I felt led to do XYZ.." or "That's why.. Okay. I get it now."

It's just a weird way to live because to certain extent, I can take credit for it. I can point to very specific decisions and multiple forms of labor and concrete outcomes like publications and CV lines. But also, I can't take credit for it at all. For so many reasons..

First of all, and this isn't even spiritual, it's just a material fact: you can't force an international community of influential scholars to appreciate and value your work. You just can't. That was not within my power and, to be honest, I didn't even try.

Second of all, let me be transparent about the fact that going up for promotion, especially so soon after tenure, wasn’t even my idea. So I can’t take credit for even having the ambition. It was not “my” plan..

Couple years back, shortly after tenure, a full professor comes up to me at a reception and asks “So when are you going up?” I was so confused. “What do you mean?” “WHEN are you going up for Full?” She was not joking. My second book had just come out and she said I needed a plan.

It seemed a little crazy. But other full professors started repeating her advice. Aiight, so I start putting together a plan. Meanwhile, I got invited to the *first ever* @ssrcmellonmays mentoring workshop for minority associate professors specifically about preparing for full.

To recap — in 2017, I was on the cusp of tenure, finishing HTBLSAR. It was mentioned as a work in progress in my tenure file but I was not giving much thought about how it would advance my career. In fact, it felt very risky at the time and I had no idea how it would be received.

Fast forward a year, the book drops and there’s an immediate positive response from scholars, including senior colleagues. That was something over which I had zero control. The way the work has been embraced by colleagues has been a very surreal and pleasant surprise..

Meanwhile, the entire writing and publishing process was deeply driven by my spiritual practice. Sure, I did the work and was strategic about breaking into trade publishing but all kinds of things aligned that I cannot take credit for..

So then the book drops and folks start encouraging me to put a real plan together. Okay. Cool. Then, last year, I was fortuitously invited to the first ever @ssrcmellonmays PhD Professional Development Conference at Columbia for MMUF alumni associate professors.

So it just so happened that I had this extremely rare opportunity to refine my plan and network with administrators and scholars of color at a 2 day workshop designed to help faculty of color successfully earn promotion to Full *as I was preparing my file for promotion to Full*.

I mean, I say it’s a rare opportunity, but it’s literally an N of 1. This event had NEVER happened before. And it was right on time for me. Yet another set of fortuitous circumstances that were entirely outside of my control.

So all this shit is aligning. Meanwhile, I had lots of anxieties about the process and reached out to the Ford Foundation fellows network for support. Dozens of senior scholars, including folks I'd never met, responded to the call, shared their own experiences and sage advice..

Still, even with the generous support and mentorship of senior colleagues, there were numerous factors involved in the process that stressed me out. But then, through what can only be divine intervention, those factors were resolved. Again, it was "beyond me".

I mean, the people in my life that know the full story, not just of this promotion, but my career more generally.. they know that all kinds of really fortunate shit came together with perfect timing and I would never be so foolish as to take credit for these unimaginable things.

Which also means, in terms of giving advice to other people or sharing "my story", that I can't really talk about my experiences honestly without adding caveats that include phrases like "the matrix" and "divine intervention". I don't think my weird life is a template for anyone.

Like, my life is really weird. I don't know how else to say it. It's the kind of weird that involves ESP and prophetic dreams and intuition and mystical prayer and people literally coming out of no where to give me information I didn't even know I needed.

Aiight, still thinking about the process that led up to my promotion to Full and now realizing that one of the keys, undoubtedly, was the fact that I participated in *four* professional development seminars/workshops/processes for mid-career faculty.

I already tweeted about the very helpful SSRC workshop last year that was specifically designed to help mid-career faculty of color chart a pathway to Full. By that point, I was already preparing my dossier. But there were 3 other professional dev programs that helped a lot, too.

I'm an alumna of the @NCFDD Faculty Success bootcamp, which totally transformed my career while on the tenure track. They also offer a "Post-Tenure Pathways" program that I did *not* join, but I DID read and implement Kerry Ann Rockquemore's FREE advice: https://www.insidehighered.com/advice/2017/08/30/introductory-advice-academics-who-have-just-become-tenured-essay

Two other helpful programs were internal to Stony Brook. Back in 2017, a few months after earning tenure, I was informed that the university was offering a new "Leadership Academy" for mid-career faculty. I asked my chair to nominate me and I was subsequently selected..

The Leadership Academy was mainly geared toward preparing tenured faculty for administrative roles, but it also included units on career advancement more broadly. There were readings, reflexive exercises and group work that helped participants hone our professional vision..

Finally, I participated in a brief internal workshop at the university for Associate Professors to clarify the process and policies for advancing to Full. We also looked at some of the data regarding promotion and discussed common issues/problems..

All of these programs were *in addition to* a steady stream of career advice I sought and received from senior scholars within my network. Sometimes I forget how much sustained effort I have dedicated over the years to my own professional development..

Probably the most important and unusual factor, though, was the fact that I was *encouraged* by senior colleagues I deeply respect to go up. When I objected and asked "Isn't it too early?" they kept saying no. It took a leap of faith to believe them, but they were clearly right..

I can't emphasize enough how unusual this is, especially for women and *especially* for Black women. The data suggest that women are not encouraged to go up for promotion as quickly as male colleagues. Women typically lag behind and are underrepresented for a variety of reasons..

And even though I was strongly encouraged by colleagues I deeply respect, I still felt intimidated by the process because it requires a great deal of matter-of-fact-assertiveness in order to clearly and convincingly state why you have earned the rank of Full Professor..

Now, I've never been accused of not being a confident woman.. I'm fairly comfortable stating what I've accomplished and claiming what I've earned. But I also knew that I would be coming up earlier and faster than almost anyone else. As confident as I am, I still felt intimidated.

One of the strategies that helped was identifying other examples of scholars, including scholars of color, who successfully earned promotion "early". It was also helpful to be advised that the timing didn't matter. What mattered was whether I met or exceeded the bar, which I did.

As I prepared my dossier, there were also "external signals" that made it clear that senior scholars in the field as well as administrators elsewhere viewed me as a candidate for Full Professor. So, despite any doubts I had at the onset, the data were just piling up in my favor.

I share all of this because, again, I'm an unusual case. Unlike most women, I was encouraged to go up early by colleagues within my institution and outside of it. And I was preparing my dossier while on a national book tour, which significantly raised my profile..

I also had perfectly-timed opportunities for tailored mentoring and coaching that very few people receive. The SSRC MMUF workshop for mid-career faculty of color, for example, was invitation only..

And since it's Mother's Day, I'm thinking about the fact that @A_Veganista read the research statement I wrote for my promotion (like she's read almost everything else I've ever written) and provided feedback. I am so grateful for my Momma. She is always, always there for me...