cw anti-neurodiverse ableism
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hi. as someone who's dissociative and "plural/multiple" - I have headmates/alters:

there's increasingly accusations & bullying of peeps w/ headmates "being fake."

here's why you don't do that.
#neurodiversesquad #dissociativeidentitydisorder

for those who are hearing about this for the first time! there are entire groups dedicated to being assholes about it on sites like here and reddit. back in december, I even saw some mutuals sharing a viral tweet like this, but I wasn't "out."

here are examples of this behavior:

I'll also note that while harassment of the community has always been present, this has become increasingly rampant after YouTube drama that happened two months ago or so. more on that here: https://twitter.com/riningear/status/1242151022593703936

also up-front, I'm supportive of endogenic plurals; that's to say, I don't see trauma as a hard pre-requisite to having headmates. even the current DSM does not require trauma as a prerequisite to dissociative states.

okay, pre-notes done. onto the "don't be an ass" argument.

cw ableist insult mention

the whole premise of, "this person is acting up, they don't fit my image of mental illness, so they're doing it for attention" is already a giant oxymoron. why do you think "crazy" is used as an insult? it's fifty types of ableist on its own.

usually the people are saying it implies there is a "correct" way to be "dissociative." they want a picture-perfect image of neurodiversity.

which is conforming with ableist neurotypicals that want you to "perform" "neurotypically."

which is "quiet." even "non-existent."

important to say that even within well-established "traumagenic-focused" communities, it's known and extremely common for headmates to act certain... well, weird ways. age regression, "littles," fictives, factives, inter-species. (our closest is a slightly age-regressed 19yo.)

so that's to say, headmates — even ones within your perfect cube of medical diagnosis — have NEVER "performed" so perfectly to certain standards of... well, performing. but many have internalized that standard out of fear.

in a few very concise words:

if you are bullying others for "faking," you are projecting society's ableist image of "perfect mental illness" onto others.

if you are "in the community" and do so, you are an ableist. I think a lot of people mean well. but sort unhealthy internalized ableism with a therapist.

bullying people who MIGHT be "faking it" doesn't help you except give you serotonin for a sweet five seconds followed by adrenaline. which is... stress-inducing.

only feeds the people who want "the crazies" to vanish.

that includes you.

"oh, well, so-and-so came out as fake!"

ok? that means at least one of three things:

1) they explored the way their body functions. cool?

2) they don't have an issue with how plural people present. that's good for you too.

3) they just ended up suppressing it? that's bad.

the third is very possible, especially among milder cases of dissociation — self included. after some now-obvious episodes in middle school, I ended up suppressing mine until last year because I felt it was fake.

(the same alters, darling and evie, came back out of nowhere.)

here's the other thing: almost NOBODY saying these things is qualified to say it.

hell, headmate discussion has some of the most unsubstantiated research and theory papers out there, due to how contentious the existence of headmates is at all.

I know a lot of my followers follow big "dissociation" channels, but most of what these channels tend to work on are theories that are almost never followed up on. like, freud-level work. I promise you, we wish things were otherwise so we could scream for people to listen to us!!

what I mean to say is, if medicine and academia can't figure it out, I doubt twitter's got the papers for it.

and for the uninitiated, there's a MASSIVE divide in the community over that issue. which is why many of us want more visibility!

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ giff research funding

finally, obligatory "if you're gonna tell people to get a diagnosis you'd better dish up the money." I'm racing against the clock and the pandemic before I turn 26 for a full psych profile; it could cost a pretty penny w/ good insurance, upwards of $3k without.

not to mention a lot of places actually aren't equipped to diagnose most dissociative disorders.

and DID symptoms overlap and have comorbidities with a ton of other mental health scenarios; the most common is borderline personality disorder, which shares symptoms hit-for-hit.

all this is to say.

if you see someone with "alters" or "headmates" "acting fake" or "being abnormal"?

just. don't say some shit. let them live. none of your business.

unless it's to say they're valid or great.