i have a really weird perspective on racism

i& #39;ve grown up in an overwhelmingly white conservative suburb my whole life and im basically playing catch-up on everything normal folks already know

i try really hard to listen to experts and poc on how modern racism and decolonialism works, it& #39;s just very difficult for me because i& #39;ve grown up knowing literally 3 poc so i lack any of the personal, experienced understanding most people have

also im aware of the fact i most likely have a lot of subconscious biases i don& #39;t understand enough about to confront yet

just please don& #39;t call me racist unless i do something shitty because i get very anxious about it and it upsets me if i can& #39;t see what i did wrong

it& #39;s also kinda scary learning about this stuff because i get really worried about people assuming i act maliciously when i don& #39;t, or people thinking im asking a question sarcastically. thankfully i& #39;ve usually been given the benefit of the doubt by some very nice folks on here https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😊" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen">

basically, please be patient with me im a cracker