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Declassified House Intel Transcripts! TREASONWEASELPALOOZA, BABY!
I'm starting with Kushner AND LET'S SEE WHERE IT TAKES US!
Declassified House Intel Transcripts! TREASONWEASELPALOOZA, BABY!
I'm starting with Kushner AND LET'S SEE WHERE IT TAKES US!
BREAKING: HIS MIDDLE NAME IS COREY
SCHIFF: "OK, Idiot McSonInLaw, let's cut the shit. HOW ABOUT YOU ESTABLISHING A BACKCHANNEL TO PUTIN? Yup, no lube or bottles of chardonnay - we're just starting this full bore."
This is all public now, and it was during the Transition, so Schiff went straight for the jugular: YOU GUYS BROKE THE LOGAN ACT. https://www.fastcompany.com/90233994/how-a-secret-seychelles-meeting-signaled-the-uae-pull-in-trump-d-c
SCHIFF: Who set the meeting run your own f**king foreign policy while Obama was president?
KUSH: Uh, I dunno.
KUSH: Uh, I dunno.
SCHIFF: So, you had no idea why you were meeting with emissaries of the UAE?
KUSH: They wanted to learn about New York pizza.
SCHIFF: Did you hide this meeting?
KUSH: What meetings? These were pizza seminars.
KUSH: They wanted to learn about New York pizza.
SCHIFF: Did you hide this meeting?
KUSH: What meetings? These were pizza seminars.
SCHIFF: So, um, all that way from the UAE for pizza?
KUSH: New York pizza is good. Obama said he liked Pi Pizza from St. Louis, which made no sense, so we had a seminar.
KUSH: New York pizza is good. Obama said he liked Pi Pizza from St. Louis, which made no sense, so we had a seminar.
SCHIFF: So how about Russia?
KUSH: They didn't invent pizza.
SCHIFF: How about Russia and Syria HEY ASSHOLE THINK I'VE SEEN THE FISA WARRANT READOUTS?
KUSH: My attorneys inform me that I do not recall anything about events in time and space, allegedly, theoretically.
KUSH: They didn't invent pizza.
SCHIFF: How about Russia and Syria HEY ASSHOLE THINK I'VE SEEN THE FISA WARRANT READOUTS?
KUSH: My attorneys inform me that I do not recall anything about events in time and space, allegedly, theoretically.
SCHIFF: So you assholes never heard of the State Department?
KUSH: We were new at language, grammar, and geography - and there is no pizza served at the State Department. What's a Foggy Bottom, anyhow?
KUSH: We were new at language, grammar, and geography - and there is no pizza served at the State Department. What's a Foggy Bottom, anyhow?
SCHIFF: So this was like a little Global Mob playdate? Did you talk to, for example, the fucking State Dept.?
KUSH: We told Trump it was a good pizza seminar.
KUSH: We told Trump it was a good pizza seminar.
SCHIFF: Hey asshole - and by the way, remember I've prosecuted Russian spies before - how about that backchannel to Putin?
KUSH: The Seychelles are not known for pizza.
KUSH: The Seychelles are not known for pizza.
SCHIFF: You're caught, you know that right?
KUSH: My lawyers tell me that, technically, I'm not.
KUSH: My lawyers tell me that, technically, I'm not.
SCHIFF: So tell us about Michael Cohen.
KUSH: Who?
SCHIFF: Cohen, you stupid asshole. Michael Cohen.
KUSH: Technically, he may have spoken to a coffee boy maybe once, but also he technically may not have existed.
KUSH: Who?
SCHIFF: Cohen, you stupid asshole. Michael Cohen.
KUSH: Technically, he may have spoken to a coffee boy maybe once, but also he technically may not have existed.
SCHIFF: Really, you don't remember anyone like, say, MICHAEL COHEN going to Eastern Europe for your campaign?
KUSH: Who?
SCHIFF: Jesus, you actually don't understand how SIGINT works. This should be fun.
KUSH: Who?
SCHIFF: Jesus, you actually don't understand how SIGINT works. This should be fun.
SCHIFF: OK, so like I'm never going to hear any SIGINT with you on it with anyone talking about Cohen's trip east?
KUSH: Cohen was an assistant-nonexistent pizza boy.
KUSH: Cohen was an assistant-nonexistent pizza boy.
SCHIFF: OK, how about the Lebanese operative guy.
KUSH: Wow, so much coffee! We needed logistics.
KUSH: Wow, so much coffee! We needed logistics.
KUSH: Fox News is deep in this conspiracy.
SCHIFF: Yeah, I know.
SCHIFF: Yeah, I know.
SCHIFF: Tell me about Carter Page, The World's Dumbest Spy.
KUSHNER: Nobody has ever met him. To my not-knowledge, he was never born and has never taken corporeal form. Allegedly.
KUSHNER: Nobody has ever met him. To my not-knowledge, he was never born and has never taken corporeal form. Allegedly.
SCHIFF: You sure you never discussed Carter Page or oil companies in Russia or anything?
KUSH: He delivered coffee to someone who once went to New York.
KUSH: He delivered coffee to someone who once went to New York.
SCHIFF: So how about that agent of Turkey and Russia in your campaign?
KUSH: The one who started in 2015 and dined with Putin? I have no idea. He had coffee ambitions, allegedly.
KUSH: The one who started in 2015 and dined with Putin? I have no idea. He had coffee ambitions, allegedly.
SCHIFF: You don't remember the guy who had dinner with Putin?
KUSH: He was in the army and was nice and made with DNA and carbon. Otherwise, no.
KUSH: He was in the army and was nice and made with DNA and carbon. Otherwise, no.
SCHIFF: So, guy worked for your father-in-law, went to Russia, but nothing rings a bell?
KUSH: Russia doesn't have pizza.
KUSH: Russia doesn't have pizza.
SCHIFF: So you guys never discussed Russia JESUS DO YOU REALLY NOT UNDERSTAND YOU'RE ON INTERCEPTS
KUSH: What's a Russia?
KUSH: What's a Russia?
SCHIFF: Do you use encrypted apps like a moron assuming nobody is picking up your treason?
KUSH: Sure! WhatsApp! It's totally completely secure. Also, I have a permanent security clearance! For family.
KUSH: Sure! WhatsApp! It's totally completely secure. Also, I have a permanent security clearance! For family.
SCHIFF: Ever use the WhatsApp Secure thing to talk to Saudi princes?
KUSH: No, it's for baby pictures.
KUSH: No, it's for baby pictures.
SCHIFF: Hang with any Russians, bro?
KUSH: What's a Russia?
(EG Note: seriously, this is so old and busted it's getting boring. These people are walking 18 U.S. Code §1001 charges.)
KUSH: What's a Russia?
(EG Note: seriously, this is so old and busted it's getting boring. These people are walking 18 U.S. Code §1001 charges.)
HIMES: So do you remember meeting with the Russian spy from the sanctioned Russian bank that is Putin's favorite?
KUSH: The one that financed Trump Toronto? Never heard of it EVAR!
KUSH: The one that financed Trump Toronto? Never heard of it EVAR!
THIS IS HOW GODDAMNED BRAZEN THESE TRAITORS ARE: Idiot McSonInLaw is giving this testimony TWO MONTHS AFTER THIS ARTICLE IS PUBLIC. https://www.businessinsider.com/russian-vnesheconombank-trump-toronto-hotel-2017-5
HIMES: So you had never heard of the sanctioned Russian bank that financed your father-in-law's hotel that your right-hand man met with during the f**king Transition?
KUSH: Nope! He didn't even want to know about pizza!
KUSH: Nope! He didn't even want to know about pizza!
HIMES: So, you little shit, your assistant met with the spy who runs Putin's bank...AT THIS SAME F**KING MEETING, but you didn't know who they were or why you were meeting.
KUSH: I meet with all Russians who are nice. It's polite. Also, my assistant went to Harvard!
KUSH: I meet with all Russians who are nice. It's polite. Also, my assistant went to Harvard!
KUSH: Yeah, it was weird, he brought me a bag of dirt, which in Russian culture I think it means, "We will fucking bury you" but anyway it was weird.
HIMES: And they didn't want anything in specific?
KUSH: Nope! Just to say hi, here's some dirt.
HIMES: And they didn't want anything in specific?
KUSH: Nope! Just to say hi, here's some dirt.
HIMES: Do you know any of the rest of Putin's spy/Mob banks?
KUSH: Maybe? Do they like pizza?
KUSH: Maybe? Do they like pizza?
HIMES: OK asshole, let's broaden this out to every last thing you lied about to get a security clearance.
KUSH: Broheim, who among us doesn't take a little Russian Mob money here and there, amirite?
KUSH: Broheim, who among us doesn't take a little Russian Mob money here and there, amirite?
KUSH: Bro, dude, duuuuude, like, our business is super big and maybe my idiot father-in-law accidentally won and he was aiming for a TV network and we all have the world's most fatal Dunning-Kruger but anyhow I have no idea how much Global Mob money we took as a family.
KUSH: I have no idea how much Russian money we've taken, and I left that part of my SF-86 blank, but oh yeah, we took money from the guy who infiltrated Facebook.
HIMES: God you are a douche.
HIMES: God you are a douche.
KUSH: My point is that we are *clean* Mob money laundering fronts and my attorneys tell me that I cannot remember where Eurasia is.
HIMES: You are a dick.
KUSH: So you get it?
HIMES: Yes, you are an enormous treasony Mob asshole playing word games.
HIMES: You are a dick.
KUSH: So you get it?
HIMES: Yes, you are an enormous treasony Mob asshole playing word games.
KUSH: Take for example Putin's friend the king of diamonds who's involved in corruption in every part of the solar system - maybe we have a thing with him, or private equity - who can tell these guys apart!
HIMES: So that guy is Russian.
KUSH: You say that like it's bad.
HIMES: So that guy is Russian.
KUSH: You say that like it's bad.
HIMES: So, douche, got any insights about Russians and Deutsche Bank?
KUSH: Yeah man, we had a thing with like 40 basis points after, man this being president shit is hard! What was the question?
KUSH: Yeah man, we had a thing with like 40 basis points after, man this being president shit is hard! What was the question?
CAPTAIN BENGHAZI: Mr. Kushner, sir, show us on the doll where the FBI touched you with the leaks and unmasking.
KUSH: I cannot recall if Eurasia exists.
CPT. BENGHAZI: OK, good enough for me.
KUSH: I cannot recall if Eurasia exists.
CPT. BENGHAZI: OK, good enough for me.
CPT. BENGHAZI: Mr. Kushner, sir, did you ever hack the DNC personally and is your secret identity Julian Assange?
KUSH: I cannot recall if there was an election.
CPT. BENGHAZI: OK, good enough for me.
KUSH: I cannot recall if there was an election.
CPT. BENGHAZI: OK, good enough for me.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA 
ok this is the best
BENGHAZI: Mr. Kushner, did you meet with Russians?
KUSH: Nope!
BENGHAZI: *dude you did, june 9*
KUSH: did i?
BENGHAZI: yeah there's emails and shit
KUSH: GOSH MAYBE I DID BUT I DIDN'T INHALE!
ok this is the best BENGHAZI: Mr. Kushner, did you meet with Russians?
KUSH: Nope!
BENGHAZI: *dude you did, june 9*
KUSH: did i?
BENGHAZI: yeah there's emails and shit
KUSH: GOSH MAYBE I DID BUT I DIDN'T INHALE!
KUSH: Yeah, I'm like in this room with Russian spies and I'm like, yo, adoptions? Wha? and we totally didn't discuss sanctions
BENGHAZI: It was an accident you were even there!
KUSH: Dude, it was weird!
BENGHAZI: It was an accident you were even there!
KUSH: Dude, it was weird!
BENGHAZI: But you did kinda meet the Russian Ambassador. How was that?
KUSH: I was a teleprompter technician for like a single day.
KUSH: I was a teleprompter technician for like a single day.
BENGHAZI: So how about singing Kumbaya with the Russians?
KUSH: Well, they're very nice, so why not?
KUSH: Well, they're very nice, so why not?
BENGHAZI: So you didn't like collude with Russia, did you?
KUSH: No, I only take their money and work directly with Russian intelligence on cyberwarfare and propaganda Ops for the campaign, and that's very different.
KUSH: No, I only take their money and work directly with Russian intelligence on cyberwarfare and propaganda Ops for the campaign, and that's very different.
BENGHAZI: OK, what about these so-called "secret communications not through the State Dept?"
KUSH: Look, as the person RESPONSIBLE FOR INTERFACING WITH FOREIGN GOVERNMENTS DURING THE CAMPAIGN (???) I just wanted to work with Russia on Syria policy while Obama was in office.
KUSH: Look, as the person RESPONSIBLE FOR INTERFACING WITH FOREIGN GOVERNMENTS DURING THE CAMPAIGN (???) I just wanted to work with Russia on Syria policy while Obama was in office.
(EG Note: Domestic political campaigns do not really need constant interface with foreign governments. Ever. In fact, it's frowned upon. So what the actual ass. This guy is amazing.)
KUSH: So it's me, Flynn, and Kislyak, and we want to work together on Syria while Obama's in office. And I don't know anything about OPSEC or common sense or anything.
And so I'm like, hey, can we use Russia's own diplomatic comms just like we're your fucking employees?
And so I'm like, hey, can we use Russia's own diplomatic comms just like we're your fucking employees?
BENGHAZI: Tell us about how you accidentally left ALL OF THIS OFF YOUR APPLICATION FOR A SECURITY CLEARANCE.
KUSH: It's my lawyers' fault. I was busy. My kids had homework. They told me it was OK to leave Yuri Milner off my SF-86, no big deal. So we said we'd add more later.
KUSH: It's my lawyers' fault. I was busy. My kids had homework. They told me it was OK to leave Yuri Milner off my SF-86, no big deal. So we said we'd add more later.
KUSH: Sure, maybe for normal people submitting a blank SF-86 is begging for prison time, but I'm a Mob dauphin with a springtime temperature IQ and I have no idea how bad this all sounds.
SCHIFF: (after many questions about Deutsche Bank and money laundering) So tell us about "running" the digital operation.
KUSH: Facebook is neat!
KUSH: Facebook is neat!
KUSH: Man, it was so cool, I take over these tools I know jack shit about, and then we get like a quarter billion dollars in a few weeks! I'm a genius!
BENGHAZI: So, did you meet with any other ambassadors during the campaign?
KUSH: Now that you mention it, China and United Arab Emirates!
KUSH: Now that you mention it, China and United Arab Emirates!
SCHIFF: Hey shithead, how about the Russian spy front?
KUSH: Oh yeah, we are ALL in the same conspiracy! We're all equally doomed!
KUSH: Oh yeah, we are ALL in the same conspiracy! We're all equally doomed!
SCHIFF: Hey Boy Blunder, think Russian intel maybe helped you target?
KUSH: Ask Parscale. ()
SCHIFF: Any help from Israel, moron?
KUSH: Who?
SCHIFF: Could you possibly be this fucking dumb?
KUSH: About what?
KUSH: Ask Parscale. (
)SCHIFF: Any help from Israel, moron?
KUSH: Who?
SCHIFF: Could you possibly be this fucking dumb?
KUSH: About what?
SCHIFF: OMG, you seriously cannot imagine what I have access to. Like, not even 0.1% of what I've had since the 1980s. Abbe Lowell must want to bash his head with a wrench working with you.
KUSH: PsyOps are like marketing!
KUSH: PsyOps are like marketing!
SCHIFF: Jesus, you really are this clueless about how many fucking felonies you're describing in a breezy, "sans souci" kinda way.
KUSH: It was like an Xbox, but for elections!
SCHIFF: seriously you're dumber than the intercepts of butina and all those morons
KUSH: It was like an Xbox, but for elections!
SCHIFF: seriously you're dumber than the intercepts of butina and all those morons
SCHIFF: So you seriously didn't know Russia's embassies run spies like everyone else's? Really?
KUSH: Sergey was nice! Russia has spies?
KUSH: Sergey was nice! Russia has spies?
This was a tough race, but it's decided in this transcript.
Holy God I lost 4 IQ points just reading this. https://twitter.com/lincolnsbible/status/1220116647190528005?s=21
Holy God I lost 4 IQ points just reading this. https://twitter.com/lincolnsbible/status/1220116647190528005?s=21
SCHIFF: So tell us more about needing secure Kremlin comms, Mr. I Didn't Collude With Russia.
KUSH: Oh, like Sergey wanted the Russian Army giving Mike Flynn policy tips on Syria directly, but they didn't want to get caught, so we're like can we use your comms? But no.
KUSH: Oh, like Sergey wanted the Russian Army giving Mike Flynn policy tips on Syria directly, but they didn't want to get caught, so we're like can we use your comms? But no.
KUSH: Yeah, we didn't need secret backdoors to Putin for *everything* but just while Obama was still president and for Syria.
SCHIFF: JFC.
SCHIFF: JFC.
SCHIFF: So lemme get this straight - you are admitted UNDER OATH that you were breaking the Logan Act to help Putin direct Mike Flynn on future Syria policy?
KUSH: What, like the President and the State Department get to hog all the diplomacy? Jeez.
KUSH: What, like the President and the State Department get to hog all the diplomacy? Jeez.
SCHIFF: No, seriously, you tried to use secure Kremlin comms through the Russian Embassy? For realsies.
KUSH: No, we just asked him if we could use his secure Kremlin comms at the Russian Embassy.
SCHIFF: So Russian generals could direct Flynn.
KUSH: It was just a suggestion!
KUSH: No, we just asked him if we could use his secure Kremlin comms at the Russian Embassy.
SCHIFF: So Russian generals could direct Flynn.
KUSH: It was just a suggestion!
SCHIFF: Um, so fuckhead, just why *did* you need to keep these communications from the US Gov't?
KUSH: I was just trying to protect the Russians.
SCHIFF: From us.
KUSH: Or, like, the Chinese. You know. Protect the Russians from losing secrets or something.
KUSH: I was just trying to protect the Russians.
SCHIFF: From us.
KUSH: Or, like, the Chinese. You know. Protect the Russians from losing secrets or something.
