<MEGATHREAD>

Declassified House Intel Transcripts! TREASONWEASELPALOOZA, BABY!

I& #39;m starting with Kushner AND LET& #39;S SEE WHERE IT TAKES US! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😁" title="Grinning face with smiling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Grinning face with smiling eyes">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😈" title="Smiling face with horns" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with horns">
BREAKING: HIS MIDDLE NAME IS COREY
SCHIFF: "OK, Idiot McSonInLaw, let& #39;s cut the shit. HOW ABOUT YOU ESTABLISHING A BACKCHANNEL TO PUTIN? Yup, no lube or bottles of chardonnay - we& #39;re just starting this full bore."
This is all public now, and it was during the Transition, so Schiff went straight for the jugular: YOU GUYS BROKE THE LOGAN ACT. https://www.fastcompany.com/90233994/how-a-secret-seychelles-meeting-signaled-the-uae-pull-in-trump-d-c">https://www.fastcompany.com/90233994/...
Two Princes: How a secret meeting signaled the UAE’s pull in Trump’s D.C.

A meeting in the Seychelles between the Blackwater founder and a Putin ally has drawn scrutiny. It also indicated another backchannel to the White House.

https://www.fastcompany.com/90233994/how-a-secret-seychelles-meeting-signaled-the-uae-pull-in-trump-d-c
SCHIFF: Who set the meeting run your own f**king foreign policy while Obama was president?

KUSH: Uh, I dunno.
SCHIFF: So, you had no idea why you were meeting with emissaries of the UAE?

KUSH: They wanted to learn about New York pizza.

SCHIFF: Did you hide this meeting?

KUSH: What meetings? These were pizza seminars.
SCHIFF: So, um, all that way from the UAE for pizza?

KUSH: New York pizza is good. Obama said he liked Pi Pizza from St. Louis, which made no sense, so we had a seminar.
SCHIFF: So how about Russia?

KUSH: They didn& #39;t invent pizza.

SCHIFF: How about Russia and Syria HEY ASSHOLE THINK I& #39;VE SEEN THE FISA WARRANT READOUTS?

KUSH: My attorneys inform me that I do not recall anything about events in time and space, allegedly, theoretically.
SCHIFF: So you assholes never heard of the State Department?

KUSH: We were new at language, grammar, and geography - and there is no pizza served at the State Department. What& #39;s a Foggy Bottom, anyhow?
SCHIFF: So this was like a little Global Mob playdate? Did you talk to, for example, the fucking State Dept.?

KUSH: We told Trump it was a good pizza seminar.
SCHIFF: Hey asshole - and by the way, remember I& #39;ve prosecuted Russian spies before - how about that backchannel to Putin?

KUSH: The Seychelles are not known for pizza.
SCHIFF: You& #39;re caught, you know that right?

KUSH: My lawyers tell me that, technically, I& #39;m not.
SCHIFF: So tell us about Michael Cohen.

KUSH: Who?

SCHIFF: Cohen, you stupid asshole. Michael Cohen.

KUSH: Technically, he may have spoken to a coffee boy maybe once, but also he technically may not have existed.
SCHIFF: Really, you don& #39;t remember anyone like, say, MICHAEL COHEN going to Eastern Europe for your campaign?

KUSH: Who?

SCHIFF: Jesus, you actually don& #39;t understand how SIGINT works. This should be fun.
SCHIFF: OK, so like I& #39;m never going to hear any SIGINT with you on it with anyone talking about Cohen& #39;s trip east?

KUSH: Cohen was an assistant-nonexistent pizza boy.
SCHIFF: OK, how about the Lebanese operative guy.

KUSH: Wow, so much coffee! We needed logistics.
KUSH: Fox News is deep in this conspiracy.

SCHIFF: Yeah, I know.
SCHIFF: Tell me about Carter Page, The World& #39;s Dumbest Spy.

KUSHNER: Nobody has ever met him. To my not-knowledge, he was never born and has never taken corporeal form. Allegedly.
SCHIFF: You sure you never discussed Carter Page or oil companies in Russia or anything?

KUSH: He delivered coffee to someone who once went to New York.
SCHIFF: So how about that agent of Turkey and Russia in your campaign?

KUSH: The one who started in 2015 and dined with Putin? I have no idea. He had coffee ambitions, allegedly.
SCHIFF: You don& #39;t remember the guy who had dinner with Putin?

KUSH: He was in the army and was nice and made with DNA and carbon. Otherwise, no.
SCHIFF: So, guy worked for your father-in-law, went to Russia, but nothing rings a bell?

KUSH: Russia doesn& #39;t have pizza.
SCHIFF: So you guys never discussed Russia JESUS DO YOU REALLY NOT UNDERSTAND YOU& #39;RE ON INTERCEPTS

KUSH: What& #39;s a Russia?
SCHIFF: Do you use encrypted apps like a moron assuming nobody is picking up your treason?

KUSH: Sure! WhatsApp! It& #39;s totally completely secure. Also, I have a permanent security clearance! For family.
SCHIFF: Ever use the WhatsApp Secure thing to talk to Saudi princes?

KUSH: No, it& #39;s for baby pictures.
SCHIFF: Hang with any Russians, bro?

KUSH: What& #39;s a Russia?

(EG Note: seriously, this is so old and busted it& #39;s getting boring. These people are walking 18 U.S. Code §1001 charges.)
HIMES: So do you remember meeting with the Russian spy from the sanctioned Russian bank that is Putin& #39;s favorite?

KUSH: The one that financed Trump Toronto? Never heard of it EVAR!
THIS IS HOW GODDAMNED BRAZEN THESE TRAITORS ARE: Idiot McSonInLaw is giving this testimony TWO MONTHS AFTER THIS ARTICLE IS PUBLIC. https://www.businessinsider.com/russian-vnesheconombank-trump-toronto-hotel-2017-5">https://www.businessinsider.com/russian-v...
Report: Russian bank whose CEO met secretly with Jared Kushner helped finance Trump's Toronto hotel

A Russian state-owned bank under US sanctions helped financed the construction of the president's 65-story Trump International Hotel and Tower, a report says.

https://www.businessinsider.com/russian-vnesheconombank-trump-toronto-hotel-2017-5
HIMES: So you had never heard of the sanctioned Russian bank that financed your father-in-law& #39;s hotel that your right-hand man met with during the f**king Transition?

KUSH: Nope! He didn& #39;t even want to know about pizza!
HIMES: So, you little shit, your assistant met with the spy who runs Putin& #39;s bank...AT THIS SAME F**KING MEETING, but you didn& #39;t know who they were or why you were meeting.

KUSH: I meet with all Russians who are nice. It& #39;s polite. Also, my assistant went to Harvard!
KUSH: Yeah, it was weird, he brought me a bag of dirt, which in Russian culture I think it means, "We will fucking bury you" but anyway it was weird.

HIMES: And they didn& #39;t want anything in specific?

KUSH: Nope! Just to say hi, here& #39;s some dirt.
HIMES: Do you know any of the rest of Putin& #39;s spy/Mob banks?

KUSH: Maybe? Do they like pizza?
HIMES: OK asshole, let& #39;s broaden this out to every last thing you lied about to get a security clearance.

KUSH: Broheim, who among us doesn& #39;t take a little Russian Mob money here and there, amirite?
KUSH: Bro, dude, duuuuude, like, our business is super big and maybe my idiot father-in-law accidentally won and he was aiming for a TV network and we all have the world& #39;s most fatal Dunning-Kruger but anyhow I have no idea how much Global Mob money we took as a family.
KUSH: I have no idea how much Russian money we& #39;ve taken, and I left that part of my SF-86 blank, but oh yeah, we took money from the guy who infiltrated Facebook.

HIMES: God you are a douche.
KUSH: My point is that we are *clean* Mob money laundering fronts and my attorneys tell me that I cannot remember where Eurasia is.

HIMES: You are a dick.

KUSH: So you get it?

HIMES: Yes, you are an enormous treasony Mob asshole playing word games.
KUSH: Take for example Putin& #39;s friend the king of diamonds who& #39;s involved in corruption in every part of the solar system - maybe we have a thing with him, or private equity - who can tell these guys apart!

HIMES: So that guy is Russian.

KUSH: You say that like it& #39;s bad.
HIMES: So, douche, got any insights about Russians and Deutsche Bank?

KUSH: Yeah man, we had a thing with like 40 basis points after, man this being president shit is hard! What was the question?
CAPTAIN BENGHAZI: Mr. Kushner, sir, show us on the doll where the FBI touched you with the leaks and unmasking.

KUSH: I cannot recall if Eurasia exists.

CPT. BENGHAZI: OK, good enough for me.
CPT. BENGHAZI: Mr. Kushner, sir, did you ever hack the DNC personally and is your secret identity Julian Assange?

KUSH: I cannot recall if there was an election.

CPT. BENGHAZI: OK, good enough for me.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing"> ok this is the best

BENGHAZI: Mr. Kushner, did you meet with Russians?

KUSH: Nope!

BENGHAZI: *dude you did, june 9*

KUSH: did i?

BENGHAZI: yeah there& #39;s emails and shit

KUSH: GOSH MAYBE I DID BUT I DIDN& #39;T INHALE!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing"> ok this is the best BENGHAZI: Mr. Kushner, did you meet with Russians?KUSH: Nope!BENGHAZI: *dude you did, june 9*KUSH: did i?BENGHAZI: yeah there& #39;s emails and shitKUSH: GOSH MAYBE I DID BUT I DIDN& #39;T INHALE!" title="HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing"> ok this is the best BENGHAZI: Mr. Kushner, did you meet with Russians?KUSH: Nope!BENGHAZI: *dude you did, june 9*KUSH: did i?BENGHAZI: yeah there& #39;s emails and shitKUSH: GOSH MAYBE I DID BUT I DIDN& #39;T INHALE!" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>
KUSH: Yeah, I& #39;m like in this room with Russian spies and I& #39;m like, yo, adoptions? Wha? and we totally didn& #39;t discuss sanctions

BENGHAZI: It was an accident you were even there!

KUSH: Dude, it was weird!
BENGHAZI: But you did kinda meet the Russian Ambassador. How was that?

KUSH: I was a teleprompter technician for like a single day.
BENGHAZI: So how about singing Kumbaya with the Russians?

KUSH: Well, they& #39;re very nice, so why not?
BENGHAZI: So you didn& #39;t like collude with Russia, did you?

KUSH: No, I only take their money and work directly with Russian intelligence on cyberwarfare and propaganda Ops for the campaign, and that& #39;s very different.
BENGHAZI: OK, what about these so-called "secret communications not through the State Dept?"

KUSH: Look, as the person RESPONSIBLE FOR INTERFACING WITH FOREIGN GOVERNMENTS DURING THE CAMPAIGN (???) I just wanted to work with Russia on Syria policy while Obama was in office.
(EG Note: Domestic political campaigns do not really need constant interface with foreign governments. Ever. In fact, it& #39;s frowned upon. So what the actual ass. This guy is amazing.)
KUSH: So it& #39;s me, Flynn, and Kislyak, and we want to work together on Syria while Obama& #39;s in office. And I don& #39;t know anything about OPSEC or common sense or anything.

And so I& #39;m like, hey, can we use Russia& #39;s own diplomatic comms just like we& #39;re your fucking employees?
BENGHAZI: Tell us about how you accidentally left ALL OF THIS OFF YOUR APPLICATION FOR A SECURITY CLEARANCE.

KUSH: It& #39;s my lawyers& #39; fault. I was busy. My kids had homework. They told me it was OK to leave Yuri Milner off my SF-86, no big deal. So we said we& #39;d add more later.
KUSH: Sure, maybe for normal people submitting a blank SF-86 is begging for prison time, but I& #39;m a Mob dauphin with a springtime temperature IQ and I have no idea how bad this all sounds.
SCHIFF: (after many questions about Deutsche Bank and money laundering) So tell us about "running" the digital operation.

KUSH: Facebook is neat!
KUSH: Man, it was so cool, I take over these tools I know jack shit about, and then we get like a quarter billion dollars in a few weeks! I& #39;m a genius!
BENGHAZI: So, did you meet with any other ambassadors during the campaign?

KUSH: Now that you mention it, China and United Arab Emirates!
SCHIFF: Hey shithead, how about the Russian spy front?

KUSH: Oh yeah, we are ALL in the same conspiracy! We& #39;re all equally doomed!
SCHIFF: Hey Boy Blunder, think Russian intel maybe helped you target?

KUSH: Ask Parscale. (https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">)

SCHIFF: Any help from Israel, moron?

KUSH: Who?

SCHIFF: Could you possibly be this fucking dumb?

KUSH: About what?
SCHIFF: OMG, you seriously cannot imagine what I have access to. Like, not even 0.1% of what I& #39;ve had since the 1980s. Abbe Lowell must want to bash his head with a wrench working with you.

KUSH: PsyOps are like marketing!
SCHIFF: Jesus, you really are this clueless about how many fucking felonies you& #39;re describing in a breezy, "sans souci" kinda way.

KUSH: It was like an Xbox, but for elections!

SCHIFF: seriously you& #39;re dumber than the intercepts of butina and all those morons
SCHIFF: So you seriously didn& #39;t know Russia& #39;s embassies run spies like everyone else& #39;s? Really?

KUSH: Sergey was nice! Russia has spies?
This was a tough race, but it& #39;s decided in this transcript.

Holy God I lost 4 IQ points just reading this. https://twitter.com/lincolnsbible/status/1220116647190528005?s=21">https://twitter.com/lincolnsb...
SCHIFF: So tell us more about needing secure Kremlin comms, Mr. I Didn& #39;t Collude With Russia.

KUSH: Oh, like Sergey wanted the Russian Army giving Mike Flynn policy tips on Syria directly, but they didn& #39;t want to get caught, so we& #39;re like can we use your comms? But no.
KUSH: Yeah, we didn& #39;t need secret backdoors to Putin for *everything* but just while Obama was still president and for Syria.

SCHIFF: JFC.
SCHIFF: So lemme get this straight - you are admitted UNDER OATH that you were breaking the Logan Act to help Putin direct Mike Flynn on future Syria policy?

KUSH: What, like the President and the State Department get to hog all the diplomacy? Jeez.
SCHIFF: No, seriously, you tried to use secure Kremlin comms through the Russian Embassy? For realsies.

KUSH: No, we just asked him if we could use his secure Kremlin comms at the Russian Embassy.

SCHIFF: So Russian generals could direct Flynn.

KUSH: It was just a suggestion!
SCHIFF: Um, so fuckhead, just why *did* you need to keep these communications from the US Gov& #39;t?

KUSH: I was just trying to protect the Russians.

SCHIFF: From us.

KUSH: Or, like, the Chinese. You know. Protect the Russians from losing secrets or something.
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