Read on Twitter
"You weight more than your credit score"-Winston 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">
"Jess: What do you call, top, no pants?
Schmidt: ohh that& #39;s like a Winnie the Pooh or a Paddington"
Schmidt: ohh that& #39;s like a Winnie the Pooh or a Paddington"
"Schmidt: Just a quick sidebar. We& #39;ve done it in every room of the apartment.
Jess: Ugh, even my room?
Schmidt: Just the one time"
Jess: Ugh, even my room?
Schmidt: Just the one time"
“Nick: You think she did it on purpose ?
Schmidt: An Indian-Jewish baby, who wouldn’t want that ? Think about the bone structure”
Schmidt: An Indian-Jewish baby, who wouldn’t want that ? Think about the bone structure”
"My penis is having a heart attack"-Schmidthttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
“Telling me that I look like one of the most handsome men in politics does not hurt my feelings, Winston”-Schmidt
"Nick: Is this bathwater ?
Schmidt: Might as well be, its Rose"
Schmidt: Might as well be, its Rose"
“You and I not being together does not make sense to me”-Schmidt
“We are roommates, who made out a couple times and are attracted to each other and are really good friends. And sometimes genuinely kind of hate each other and sometimes touch each other’s boobs.”- Nick(the show wouldn’t be the same without him https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">)
“Nick you and Jess didnt workout, okay? www.MoveOn.orgg”-Schmidt
“Why would a guy like Michael Keaton be friends with me anyway ? I guess I’ll always be the fat boy he likes fat boy cheese”-Schmidt
"I remember sticks and stones may break your bones, but not if you& #39;re a fat kid with calcium deficiency"-Schmidt https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">
“We are hooking up tonight, all five of us. Do you realize how important this is ? Winter is coming. No one comes home alone.”-Schmidt
"This woman is engaged, her number belongs to God now"-Schmidt
“I simply want a demographic breakdown of all the guys who hit on you. You know jacked dudes, swole dudes, yoked dudes.”-Schmidt
“What in Megyn Kelly’s America are you doing, Nick?”-Schmidt https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
“It’s called foreplay, you tween. You don’t just buy a Porsche off the lot and immediately enter it on the Groser Preis con Deutschland”-Schmidt
“Schmidt: There was even a week when I pretended you were a Democrat
Cece: I am a democrat
Schmidt: You’re so funny, I love you”https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
Cece: I am a democrat
Schmidt: You’re so funny, I love you”
“I’ve been doing sex prep all day”-Nick
