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Sometimes I get sad.
I get sad for no reason. My brain sometimes just decides, today you're going to be sad. For no understandable reason. Everything just starts to feel empty. Everything is going to feel like something has been removed from your body.
Sometimes I get sad.
I get sad for no reason. My brain sometimes just decides, today you're going to be sad. For no understandable reason. Everything just starts to feel empty. Everything is going to feel like something has been removed from your body.
2. Everything is going to taste like nothing. Hearing things are even going to be dull. Sunlight is going to hurt. Showering is going to take to much effort. Brushing your hair feels like you're tearing skin off your head.
3. Brushing your teeth feels like they are moments away from bleeding. And you can't stop it.
You have no control over what I call "The Sad". You sit in your dark room, with the blankets over your head starring at a wall like it as all the answers in the world.
You have no control over what I call "The Sad". You sit in your dark room, with the blankets over your head starring at a wall like it as all the answers in the world.
4. You can't tell if it's been 10 Min or 10 hours. The sad is becoming blindly numb. You've walked into the abyss and who knows how long your stay is going to be. You don't even cry, because crying is an emotion and you feel nothing...
The minutes flow into hours,
The minutes flow into hours,
5. that cascade into days and transform into weeks.
Your hair is greasy, your mouth feels like cotton, your hair has grown that you're going to have to use 2 razors just to shave your legs, you're losing a bit of your tan because you haven't seen the sun in days.
Your hair is greasy, your mouth feels like cotton, your hair has grown that you're going to have to use 2 razors just to shave your legs, you're losing a bit of your tan because you haven't seen the sun in days.
6. Your meds help, but you can't always avoid The Sad, if you had to stop your meds it would change from The Sad to The Depressed to The Suicide.
So you take your meds, everyday waiting for The Sad to lift.
And it starts so slowly.
Washing your face is easier.
So you take your meds, everyday waiting for The Sad to lift.
And it starts so slowly.
Washing your face is easier.
7. Brushing your teeth isn't such a chore. You opened your curtain, but just the one though. You had a 5min shower, the longest you've had in days. You brushed your hair, it still feels like your brain has needles running along it, but it's no longer stabbing.
8. You got changed out of your PJs. Then it happens. The flood. The cry that's been sitting just below the surface unable to get out, because The Sad doesn't let it happen.
You cry so hard it feels like the entire dam has broken, it can be for seconds, minutes or even hours.
You cry so hard it feels like the entire dam has broken, it can be for seconds, minutes or even hours.
9. But for some reason after the flood, you feel relief, the first human emotion you've had in days.
That's when you know The Sad has passed. Don't make yourself feel guilty for The Sad, you have no control over it. But always remember that the flood will always happen.
That's when you know The Sad has passed. Don't make yourself feel guilty for The Sad, you have no control over it. But always remember that the flood will always happen.
10. And you will be okay, always.
