About 2 weeks ago, @IanColdwater assigned me a lady avatar to get the "full effect" of being a woman on Twitter. Here are some things I learned.

To start: the "full effect" takes a lifetime. Changing my name, bio, and photo for a few weeks is just a taste. The jerks and annoyances were like sandpaper: each rub worse. These are microaggressions, and I understand this differently now.

Dick pics are super violating, and pictures of Richard Nixon and Dick Cheney aren't funny. I didn't get many, but I got a few. I knew this already, but it was different for me to actually receive them than just know it. I am grateful to have never sent one.

Engagement on my tweets was higher than before, and more likely to escape my social circle. This seems to make it more likely to have basic stuff badly explained at me.

It's hard to know if someone is being an asshole, or trying to help. As Ian put it, "untold numbers of [...] interactions go where some well-meaning guy says something he thinks is funny or something and is then very confused when the woman he makes it to totally flips her shit".

I think I saw only some of the facets of what not-men experience on the internet, and definitely didn't feel the depths of the cuts. For example, I never once had my identity or overall skills questioned. The full experience would take closer to a lifetime.

I have a new appreciation for how tiring even slightly belittling comments can be. I think and hope I have long been a good ally, but I did not appreciate the significance of these nearly (to me) trivial comments when added up.

My threshold for "when should I jump in?" was pretty high: openly questioning skills, or behavior I would consider aggressive or rude if it were _at me_. As a man, it is safer for me to speak up, and I hope to use this new awareness to support people better.

I really appreciate @IanColdwater for this experience. I have not-men friends who were not thrilled by it, and I hope I can make it up to you by being bettered by it, and by doing my part to improve the communities I am part of. Thank you, Ian.