Here's a thread of all the movies I've watched since we stopped leaving the house.
Jumanji: The Next Level

It was fine. Less charming than the first. Kevin Hart was the best thing about it by far.
Spenser Confidential.

Trash. And not trash like I usually like. Trash trash.
Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

The best DC movie and it's not even close. I kind of want a Rosie Perez spinoff on that DC app no one has.
Angel Has Fallen

Shout out to the first action hero with diagnosed CTE. These movies are perfectly dumb. 5 stars
Sonic The Hedgehog

Way more fun than I expected. Someone give Jim Carey like 45 million dollar comedy, please.
Crazy Rich Asians

I like this movie so much I started reading the book.
Troop Zero

I feel like I liked this but I remember nothing about it? Jim Gaffigan was good I think?
Million Dollar Arm

This title is about Jon Hamm's dick. There's no way I'm the first person to make this joke but I'm not looking it up.
The Last Black Man in San Francisco

Beautiful. I'm excited to see more from everyone involved. I feel like the next time I watch this will be as a double feature with Sorry To Bother You
21 Bridges

True story. For some reason I've thought Chadwick Boseman was British this whole time. Then I saw him on that LeBron barbershop show and was like "What the fuck?"
Murder On The Orient Express

Man, was this fun. I love big, ensemble whodunits. I was about say "They should make something like this again" and then I realized they made Knives Out and literally this again.
Muriel's Wedding

Keep your eye on that Toni Collette. She's going places.
Billy Elliot

I'm a sucker for a working class misfit. I feel like I get Sing Street more now.
Ford v Ferrari

I liked this and I liked the new season of Bosch. They make sense together.
Robin Hood (Disney 1973)

This is the horniest Disney movie of all time. If you know, you know.
The Sword In The Stone (Disney. 1963)

Decidedly less horny.
Jungle Book (Disney. 1967)

Oddly a little horny again.
Rambo: Last Blood

Murder horny. Decent action but also felt a bit Trumpy?
Charlie's Angels (2019)

Deserved more attention than it got. I had a blast. Have an edible first.
I'll add the rest tomorrow
The Player

I only knew this movie as a reference until now. It holds up pretty well. I'm a sucker for a cameo and this movie is about 90 % cameos.
VFW

God DAMN this movie was rad. It was like a gore-filled Assualt on Precinct 13 mixed with cocaine. See it immediately.
We Summon The Darkness

Leans way more into the comedy than the horror than I expected but that works. Made a great double feature with VFW
Bloodshot

This movie was such a mess. It had its moments but, overall, it's more dumb than it is fun.
To Live And Die In L.A.

Fuck yeah. Everybody in this movie is terrible and nothing works out. The way it should be.
Blow The Man Down

Put Margo Martindale in everything. Literally everything. The Raid III? Margo Martindale that shit.
Widows

Awesome heist movie. Definitely deserved more love than it got. Viola Davis's shoulders should have one their own Oscar
The Invisible Man

Tremendous. The opening sequence was so perfectly tense that I was afraid the rest of the movie wouldn't live up to it. I was very wrong.
Singles

It feels a bit dated watching this for the first time in 2020 but the relationship feels really authentic and the redhead friend is very funny.
The Amazing Spider-Man

Andrew Garfield is the worst Spider-Man and the worst Peter Parker. I still kind of like this. Whatever
The Spanish Prisoner

I'm a Mamet guy. I really wanted to like this. It started strong but, man, was that end a mess.
The Towering Inferno

It's like that movie Skyscraper except Paul Newman doesn't punch a building the way I'm assuming The Rock does. Still, pretty damn great.
The Guard (2011)

How did I miss this movie this whole time? Funny and sad and I'll watch anything with Brendan Gleeson in it. Highly recommended.
Uncorked (2020)

I was nervous when the main character said that riesling was the Drake of wine but it was still pretty good, mostly because of Courtney B. Vance and Niecy Nash.
The Half Of It (2020)

Cyrano is a weird story because you're protagonists are villains. This was good though
Good Boys (2019)

Shout out to R rated comedies and kids that curse like I did at that age.
John Henry (2020)

If this movie had leaned into being ridiculous more it would have ruled. As it stand it's just kid of meh. Great to see that Ken Foree is still the shit.
Den Of Thieves (2018)

This movie is like bobo Heat in all the best ways. If you are wondering if it's good you are asking the wrong question.
To Sleep With Anger (1990)

I hadn't even heard of this movie until this year and now I'm mad it's taken me this long to see it. I think that, too often, Danny Glover gets reduced to "I'm getting to old for this shit." but he acts his fucking dick off in this.
The Out-Of-Towners (1972)

Jack Lemmon is such a perfect dick in this movie. This may be my favorite one of his comedies.
Coffee & Kareem - (2020)

That title is stupid but I had fun watching this. Betty Gilpin was super funny. Get a little stoned first, probably
Sleuth (1972)

Hadn't seen this in years and it hold up so well. Lawrence Olivier looks like he decided to live on a diet of scenery for the duration of this film.
Satanic Panic (2019)

An absolute blast. I watched this by myself but, man, I'd love to see this with a crowd someday. Highly recommended.
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)

Hated this the first time around and now I only kind of don't like it. I wanted more nerd Jamie Foxx. Did not need to b2 2 & a half hours long.
Invasion USA (1985)

If this movie taught me anything it’s that not enough action movies are produced by sentient bricks of cocaine anymore.
Death Wish (2018)

At some point, did Bruce Willis make an active decision to suck at acting or did he just stop giving a fuck. Either way he fucking sucked in this. The movie sucked too, but he extra sucked.
The Lovebirds (2020)

Maris and I played a game while watching this called “Point Out Where Kumail Is Secretly Marvel Jacked Under His Sweater”.
My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

This movie was exceedingly pleasant. Really hit the spot.
Cast A Deadly Spell (1991)

Fred Ward as a 1940's private detective in an alternate Hollywood where magic exists.

I remembered liking this as a kid and, I gotta say, I still do. Some real fun puppet work and practical effects and campy in just the right way. My kind of bullshit
Angel Town (1990)

This movie is like most of the shitty straight to video action flicks I grew up watching - it doesn’t make much sense, it’s pretty racist, and Olivier Gruner is in it.

5 Stars.
Child’s Play (2019)

More fun than I expected and managed to answer the “Why the fuck should I be afraid of a doll?” question better than most. Worth a watch.
Avenging Force (1986)

It’s taken me 42 years on this planet to admit this to myself but Michael Dudikoff kinda sucks.
Moonstruck (1987)

First time watching it and it’s perfect. Literally perfect.
The Thomas Crown Affair (199)

Looking for a movie to help you forget the worlds on fire? Too bad, nothing can do that. Not even Rene Russo's boobs.
It was good though.

Also, defund the police.
Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

I really did not know what I was getting into. I went in thinking this was a fun movie about a kid on game show. So this was very a very... intense experience.
The Hustler (1961)

I had no idea that so much of pool hustling was how long you can play for. Frankly, I find it hard that Jackie Gleason could outlast Paul Newman at anything. Tremendous movie though.
The Color Of Money (1986)
I watched this and The Hustler, both for the first time, as a double feature. If you can, I highly recommend doing that.
Last Holiday (2006)

This movie is good. Fuck you.
Life (1999)

If you don't cry when Biscuit dies you're the ops.
Inside Man (2006)

Not my favorite Spike Lee movie but maybe the one I've seen the most. Still holds ups. What he hell happened to Clive Owen?
Horror Noire: A History Of Black Horror (2019)

Definitely worth a watch. Definitely reminded me how much I like Tales From The Hood.
Green Lantern (2011)

This movie was fine you fucking nerds.
LA 92 (2017)

I have nothing funny to say. Watch it.
The Vast Of Night (2019)

I enjoyed this felt like a low budget Super 8. Perfect with 2 vape hits.
Dick Tracy (1990)

I like movies that take big swings and, by, did this movie swing big. Somehow not as bad as you remember and way worse than you think at the same time.
The Conjuring (2013)

Perfectly fun, if fairly standard, haunted house flick. Glad I watched it. Doubt I'll ever watch it again.
The Kitchen (2019)

This movie is the worst kind of bad. Boring, kind of ok-ish-I-guess bad. Bleh.
1BR (2019)

Creepy, fun little thriller. I'll make a point to see what David Marmor does next.
The Conjuring 2 (2016)

This will be where I punch out of this franchise. It was fine but a definite step down from the first.
House Of Games (1987)

I've managed to never see Mamet's directorial debut until now. Definitely his most stage play like but has all the con shit that I love.
The Firm (1993)

Man, do I miss Gene Hackman. Shout out
The Pelican Brief (1993)

Crazy that this came out the same year as The Firm. I wish I still had cable so I could watch this on TNT.
In A Valley Of Violence (2016)

Didn't see myself saying this in 2020 but I rather like John Travolta in this. Like a less stylish John Wick. Fun.
Brightburn (2019)

Glad I finally got around to this one. Nasty little hard R super villain origin story. Good times.
The Predator (2018)

I feel like I'm not supposed to like this one but I do. I guess I'm just a sucker for Shane Black and giant killer aliens.
Rocketman (2019)

I went into this thinking I was pretty ignorant when it came to Elton John’s catalog. Turns out I knew like a hundred songs. Elton’s got bangers. Also this movie was beautiful.
Watchmen (2009)

I’ve now watched this movie like 5 times thinking this will finally be the time I like it. It wasn’t. I give up.
Thunderbolt And Lightfoot (1974)

Young Jeff Bridges is so damn likable in this. I love a low tech bank robbery and this is right up there with the best of them.
A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

If I could go back in time and see a movie in the theater opening night this would be high on the list. Big bucket of popcorn and a theater full of screaming teenagers. Sounds like a blast.
Where’d You Go, Bernadette? (2019)

I enjoyed this due solely to the sheer force of Cate Blanchette’s will. She’s a fucking treasure.
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)

I liked it and forgot it almost immediately. Feels like I should have watched it in a hotel due to limited options.
My Spy (2020)

It makes me happy that Batista became a successful actor and Triple H tried to but couldn’t.
Rudeboy: The Story Of Trojan Records (2018)

Man did I need to listen to some ska. Everybody go listen to some ska. It helps.
Becky (2020)

Lulu Wilson and Kurrgan were both pretty great in this. I get Kevin James trying his had at something serious he just missed the mark for me.
Hamilton (2020)
Dark Angel aka I Come In Peace (1990)

Dolph Lungren and Brian Benben fighting a drug dealing alien? You already know I love this shit.
The Star Chamber (1983)

Just racist enough to make it a bunch of rich white people taking justice into their own hands feel realistic but not racist enougj to making me hate the hero. Hal Holbrook is pretty great.
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)

This really was a mess. It tried, and it had some fun moments, but was ultimately too all over the place. Looked really good though.
The Last Days Of American Crime (2020)

Fun premise, bad execution. Didn’t care enough about any of the characters to end up giving a shit about the plot.
Kickboxer 5: Redemption (1995)

Something I miss from 90s DTV martial arts movies - a bad guy that ran drugs, weapons, human trafficking etc but what he really cared about was kickboxing. 5 stars.
Karate Warrior (1987)

Part Kickboxer, part Karate Kid made for, what appears to be, approximately $175 dollars. Pretty terrible but in a fun way. Watch with beers and friends and it may work.
The Old Guard (2020)

Look. I’m easy to please. Give me Charlize Theron as an immortal sword wielding mercenary and I’m gonna like it. I’ll watch 5 more of these easy if they make them.
Palm Spring (2020)

Really enjoyed this, especially Cristin Milioti. She really grounded stuff while also getting to be over the top and funny. Not the only movie on this list to play with the Ground Hog’s day mechanics.
Psych 2: Lassie Come Home

Is Psych a great show? No. Do I love it more than I should? Absolutely. Give Dule Hill a big rom com role, please.
Rage Of Honor (1987)

I love the Sho Kusugi barely tried learn English. You know what the fuck we’re doing here, man. Kill some dudes with some throwing stars and keep it moving.
Money Plane (2020)

I bet Edge could be good in something. This is not that something. Kelsey grammar shot his whole part in an afternoon for sure. Skip it
Long Shot (2019)

This movie doesn’t get nearly enough love. A hard R rom com that is genuinely funny and also charming. See it for sure.
Snake Eater (1989)

Lorenzo Lamas. Booby traps. A motorcycle turned into a boat. Murderous inbred hillbillies that pretend to be bears. 5 stars.
Ladybird (2017)

I really loved this. Between this and Little Women I can’t wait to see what’s next from both Greta Gerwig and Saoirse Ronan.
Brewster’s Millions (1985)

I’ve seen this a hundred times and don’t know if it’s actually good or I just have childhood “we had it on vhs” Stockholm syndrome but I’ll always love it. Also, Walter Hill directed it which makes no sense.
For The Love Of Spock (2016)

My only complaint was they didn’t spend enough time talking about In Search Of... Really I just want to watch In Search Of...
Inside Llewelyn Davis (2013)

Oscar Isaac is not allowed to be good at anything else. He’s got acting and music. That’s it. Greedy bastard.

This was really good by the way. That last good Cohen Brothers to date.
Pitch Perfect (2012)

I get why these movies made a billion dollars or whatever but they feel like they were made by an algorithm. Not for me.
Pitch Perfect 2 (2015)

See above.
Project Power (2020)

Most of these Netflix movies feel like they should be the fictional movie that is playing in the background of a real movie. This is no different.
Adaptation (2002)

Crazy that I haven't seen this until now. Nicholas Cage really might have the mist interesting career of any actor. Not necessarily the best but maybe the most interesting.
House Party (1990)

Other than a wildly problematic song and dance number about prison rape this holds up pretty well.

Hot take - Play clearly should have been the break out star of the group but the industry pushed the light skinned one w/ the funny hair.
Lemony Snickett's A Series Of Unfortunate Eventa (2004)

I wish I had these books as a kid because I feel like they would have been right up my alley. I thim Jim Carey > Neil Patrick Harris
The King Of Staten Island (2020)

Too long like all Apatow projects but still very good. I'm really interested in seeing where this stage of Marisa Tomei's career goes.
Mulan (2020)

Apparently I'm not supposed to watch this for political reasons but cut me some damn slack. The world's ending. Let me not think about it for 2 hours.
Happy Death Day 2 U (2019)

Perfectly fun Groundhog Day horror comedy. Tweaked it just enough from first movie to feel fresh. Definitely don't need a third one though.
Ricochet (1991)

This movie rules in the trashiest way. They let Lithgow go the fuck OFF in this and it rules.
Trespass (1992)

Walter Hill really may be my favorite 80s/90s action director. As outlandish as this, and many of his movies are, they're still grounded in a way that makes the stakes seem real. For sure see it if you haven't.
What We Do In The Shadows (2014)

I made the mistake of watching the show first (it’s awesome BTW) which made this feel kind of lackluster. Still enjoyed it but maybe not as much as I could have.
Trespass (1992)

Walter Hill is my favorite action director. He can take something as absurd as Bill Paxton William Sadler fighting drug dealers while looking for buried treasure and ground it in a way that the stakes feel very real. Highly recommend.
Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History Of Friday The 13th (2013)

If you’ve got 7 hours to kill and like Friday The 13th than this is for you. Good interviews, cut footage etc. One of the guys that played Jason has a thick New York accent and it really cracked me up.
Saw 1 - 7 & Jigsaw (2004 - 2010, 2017)

These movies are not good. I really tried to like them but they are just a mess. They would have been better if the got rid of all the time line fuckery and “he was in on it the whole time” twistamajigs & (1/2)
just went the Final Destination route and had a new group of people each movie have to play Jigsaw’s games and die in cool ways. Also It was a bummer to see how bad of an actor Luke from Gilmore Girls is. Very disappointing over all.
The Relic (1997)

Hadn’t seen this in years but this is still a fun little creature feature with some good Stan Winston effects.

Directed by the same guy that did The Star Chamber and written by the writer of Mystic Pizza, which is a real weird combo
The Autopsy Of Jane Doe (2016)

I’ve come to a realization that, if Brian Cox is in a movie, I’m probably going to like that movie. This one was particularly good, though. A good start to spooky season, which I think I’m starting early this year.
Mayhem (2018)

Turns out a movie about a spreading virus and corporate greed hits different in September 2020. Between this, Ready Or Not, and Bill & Ted’s I’m turning into a real Samara Weaving fan.
The Dark Half (1993)

I’m kind of surprised I’ve never seen this before as it’s Romero doing Stephen King but it’s kind of just, eh. Timothy Hutton’s villain is fun but it feels pretty repetitive. It’s something I would have watched in TNT that was never on TNT.
Alien Raiders (2008)

Part “The Thing” part “The Mist”. This was a fun, low budget creature feature helped by a better cast than you usually get in something like this. Worth a watch.
The Funhouse (1981)

Carnivals are inherently creepy but even creepier when they’re staffed by an evil rapist version rapidly version of Sloth from the goonies. Good 80’s early slasher fun.
Alien (1979)

Maris had never seen this before and I haven’t seen it in close to a decade. Still great but we were both deeply disturbed by the lack of PPE worn by the crew of the Nostromo
Anna And The Apocalypse (2018)

Stated off fun but definitely lost steam by the half way mark and barely limped its way to 90 minutes.

Also, the police are state/corporate sponsored goons and it's only a matter of time before their violence affects you personally.
Better Watch Out (2016)

I went in knowing nothing about this and I recommend you do the same. Definitely check it out.

Continued violence directed from the state will eventually result in violence directed at the state
The Babysitter: Killer Queen (2020)

Entirely unnecessary but nonetheless fun sequel. Worth a watch if you really liked the first one.
Ginger Snaps (2000)

Holy shit I forgot just how much this movie rules. Such a fun take on the werewolf story. 20 years old and it holds up perfectly. Highly recommend
The Changeling (1980)

Not particularly scary by today’s standard but a classic spooky mystery with an awesome (as always) George C Scott performance. And it’s on Shudder.

PS Get Shudder. It’s pretty great.
Hell Night (1981)

This is one of those video boxes that’s ingrained in my mind but I’ve never actually seen the movie. I'm a sucker for a 80’s slasher and, while this was a little low on the body count, it was still a lot of fun. Let’s get a Linda Blair renaissance, please.
Enola Holmes (2020)

The best part about this is now I'm gonna read the books and, even though their for kids, that still counts as reading books.
In Search Of Darkness: A Journey Into Iconic ‘80s Horror (2019)

Perfectly good background movie. Also it reminded me to watch 976-Evil.
The Blob (1988)

Hot Take? I put this on the list of great horror remakes right up there with The Fly & Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. I love how the shots of the blob are super campy & throwback-y while the kills are super modern & graphic. This movie fucking rules.
My Octopus Teacher (2020)

I probably would have liked this better on mute with some music playing or something. The narrator bummed me out for some reason
Sleuth (2007)

This remake was a real bummer. Took all the fun out of the original and just made it a real bleak downer. Hard pass.
The Resurrected (1991)

Mad scientists, shirtless Chris Sarandon, some real full practical effects and it’s directed By Dan O’Bannon (Return Of The Living Dead). Not sure how I missed this all these years but this is some direct to video awesomeness.
Tigers Are Not Afraid (2017)

This was beautiful and sad and horrific and amazing. Don't go in expecting a horror movie but god damn was this good.
Broadcast News (1987)

I'm impressed by how charming Albert Brooks is even when I find his character incredibly unlikable. Holly Hunter, as always, is fucking awesome.
Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Man, talk about a surprise. I loved this movie! Has some Heather’s vibes but from a different angle. I think I put off watching this because I’ve been confusing it with “I Know Who Killed Me” the whole time. Definitely check this out.
Mimic (1997)

Maybe I still like this nostalgia reasons but it held up pretty well for me. Going tp try and track a coly of the director's cut. Side note - is Charles S. Dutton still around?
Just Before Dawn (1981)

Pretty standard early slasher with a fun little villain twist at the end. Don’t go out of your way but if you stumble across it it’s not bad.
The Last Exorcism 2 (2013)

I remember liking the first one so I thought why not? I’ll tell you why not. This shit was BORING! 89 minutes felt like 3 hours. This is the last time I watch anything written by DAMIEN CHAZELLE (Yes, that Damien Chazelle)
Cold Prey (2006)

A fairly tame slasher made better by its setting. Took way too long to get going (30+ minutes without a kill?) but was pretty good after that. I could only find a dubbed version which certainly didn't help.
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon (2006)

I don't know if it was because it was hard to find for a while but this movie does not get the love it deserves. Yeah, it does the meta thing some people hate but it does it better than most. If you like slashers check it out.
Vampires vs The Bronx (2020)

Like a bobo Attack The Block. Still perfectly fun. I love a kid hero’s in horror like Lost Boys or The Gate so this worked for me.
Annabelle (2014)

I just have to accept that this franchise isn’t for me. Maybe it’s just too slick?
The House Of The Devil (2009)

Another one I’ve somehow managed to miss this whole time. Good slow burn horror with a great lead some some quality Tom Noonan sprinkled in. Really enjoyed it.
Of Unknown Origin (1983)

What a weird little movie. A man becomes obsessed with a rat living in the walls of his house. This movie is a complete failure if not for Peter Weller acting his dick off. I dug it.
Bats (1999)

If you’re ok with the kind of movie where Leon says “Houston... we have a problem!” when the tracker they put in one of the genetically mutated bats fails then hit your vape pen and jump in because I fucking loved this horseshit
I Trapped The Devil (2019)

This gave me Frailty vibes, if a bit more of a slow burn. I’ll definitely see whatever Josh Lobo does next.
Hubie Halloween (2020)

Maybe I'm just too old but this shit was dumb. Felt way longer than it was. Maybe your kids will like it?
Black Box (2020)

I enjoyed watching black movie that was not about black struggle or pain. A good sci-fi thriller with some fun twists. I’m really enjoying Mamoudou Athie in stuff lately.
He Never Died (2015)

Not strictly a horror movie but enough supernatural elements that I’m sneaking it into spooky season. Henry Rollins plays a good anti-social prick. I saw him do spoken once and I don’t remember any of the words he spoke.
Victor Crowley (2017)

While I generally enjoy the Hatchet movies this felt entirely unnecessary. Shout out to Jonah Ray who was fun and looked like he was having a blast.
Child’s Play (1988)

I disregarded my poll and went with Child’s Play. I hadn’t seen this is at least a decade but I liked it more than I remembered. way more than I remembered. Long live Brad Dourif!
Child’s Play 2 (1990)

Suffers from the slasher problem of wanting a body count but not really having enough characters so they just kill a bunch of people that don’t matter and you don’t care about. Both this and the first film have the best “The killer’s not dead” moments.
Child’s Play 3 (1991)

Better than part 2. These movies interestingly are not particularly kill based the way most slashers are. I liked it but it’s ultimately fairly tame.
Bride Of Chucky (1998)

This is such a weird change that I ALMOST like it. I don’t like it, because it’s dumb as hell, but I almost do. That end did genuinely make me laugh.
Seed Of Chucky (2004)

Fuck this stupid fucking movie. When horror comedy is bad, and it usually is, it might be my least favorite genre. If I never see another jar full of puppet cum I’ll be a happy man.
Curse of Chuck (2013)

This might be my favorite of the franchise. A few clunky CGI not withstanding this was genuinely creepy in moments. It reminded me of an episode of Friday The 13th: The Series, and I mean that in a good way. (Am I the only person that liked that show?)
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