Sometimes I need to remind myself that some people aren’t good communicators. They’re not bad people and they mean well but sometimes their thoughts can get lost in translation, which can make them come across badly.

For example, I guess if someone grew up in a household where people didn’t apply tact or where things were said in a very blunt fashion, it’s easy to grow up just saying things without stepping back to consider how it impacts others. Simply because you don’t know any different.

Or if you lived in a household where you were encouraged to silence yourself, it might be that you struggle to communicate because you were always told you shouldn’t. So you didn’t have the same opportunity to learn about effective communication techniques as a child.

Or maybe your primary caregiver was particularly aggressive with the way they spoke. So when you’re slightly irritated or even passionate about something, it can come across intimidating to people who don’t know you personally.

Then there is the choice of words and selecting the “right” words in a conversation. Some words are loaded, others are triggering, some come across rude. If nobody has ever tried to explain the difference, it can be hard to know which words are problematic.

Or maybe you’re someone who ‘over shares’ and perhaps you say things that are better left unsaid, because you panic in times of crisis or maybe it’s how you tackle your nervousness. Or maybe you’re just longing for someone to listen or pay attention to you.

Perhaps you’re okay at communicating, aside from communicating your emotions. Maybe you find being vulnerable difficult or maybe when you’re in a highly emotional situation, your inability to manage your emotions calmly means you end up saying things in the wrong way.

Basically, good communication is a skill and it’s a skill that not everybody has. And more than often, it’s not their fault. I need to remember this more.