I’ve been in East Asian gay media circles for more than a decade now, and what really saddens me is the growing encroachment of western antis into Asian queer media, and the subsequent labeling of BL, yaoi, danmei, other Asian queer media as “problematic” and “fetishization”

I feel like there’s this huge double standard applied to western films like G/lee and L/ove Simon, versus shows like Doukyuusei. This stigma comes not just from non-Asian fans, but also Asian diaspora based in the west, and now western-influenced fans in Asia.

I don’t feel like I know enough to say whether East Asian gay media is “problematic” or not. However, I do know that BL, danmei, yaoi has always been more true to MY queer experience than any western media ever has.

There’s a specific experience of growing up queer in East Asia. If you’ve watched Doukyuusei, you would know that. The layout of the desks. The sound of the fan. The blackboard. These are things that I recognize. The feeling of falling in love with a classmate, and being afraid.

There’s a specific experience of coming into your sexuality in East Asia. Navigating the fact that you’re not like everyone else. You won’t marry and have children and raise a family. Navigating the fact that you may never be accepted, but trying to find your own happiness.

Junjou Romantica, for example, has long been deemed “problematic” due to its early chapters. In recent chapters, however, the main couple have been cohabitating for I think 4 years, and are trying to break the news to Misaki’s family. I see my own struggles reflected there.

I feel like in East Asia, the conflicting sense of gratitude, heartbreak, resentment, and hatred are especially stark towards your family. You know they will not accept you, but but you love them anyway. You don’t blame them. You just blame yourself.

When people are kind to you, it often comes in twisted, awkward ways. People never know what to say. Sometimes they say “you know I don’t care whatever... unpalatable things you choose to do” and that’s the best acceptance you’re going to get. It warms you from the inside out.

But of course, you’re gonna get somebody who grew up in the West telling you that this character is homophobic LOLOL. Western media just doesn’t bring across MY queer experience the same way Asian gay media does.

With these “anti-fujoshis”, I’ve always wanted to ask them— if we don’t watch BL, then what do you want us to watch? Do you want us to watch yuri, in all its heaving bosoms and under skirt shots?

Do you want us to stick exclusively to “tasteful” queer films, usually indie, and almost definitely banned? Mm. Have you grown up in a country where you need a VPN to watch explicit gay films? Did you grow up in a time where VPNs weren’t so widely available?

And “tasteful” by whose definition? By western audiences at international film festivals? What I hate most about this anti-fujoshi argument, is the inherent bias against East Asian gay media.

East Asian gay media has its own problematic aspects, in the same way Western gay media has its problematic aspects like tokenism and bury your gays. The difference is we aren’t waging a crusade against consumers of western gay media as a whole.

The funniest thing is these young things think that the issues they are raising with East Asian media have NEVER been discussed by East Asians before. Hail all you western saviors for bringing enlightenment upon us savage beings. Thank you for your insight.

This discussion has been ongoing for years, just maybe not in your language, on your social media platforms, or in your time zone.

We ARE capable of critically analyzing our own media. Unfortunately, as an outsider, you are not invited to participate.

So I’ve gotten QRTs pointing out my hypocrisy for “throwing yuri under the bus”. It would indeed be hypocritical of me to throw yuri under the bus, because I watch and enjoy yuri anime. I apologize that in my single sentence about yuri I spoke about it negatively.

The point of this thread is that there are problematic aspects in both BL and yuri media. But bc both speaks to the queer Asian experience, you’re willing to close one eye and continue watching bc the show still resonates with you.

Whenever Tohru’s boobs bounce for no reason in Kobayashi-san’s Dragon Maid, I close one eye. When Junjou goes into its “dubcon predatory is sexy” moments, but I close BOTH eyes, bc in the end you still get really sweet moments that resonate with your experience for both shows.

Still, there are Asian wlw who find yuri triggering, so BL is their only option. Me bringing up yuri is a response to antis who say “fujoshis are all straight women bc if you’re really queer, you’d just watch yuri” or “even if you’re queer, then watch yuri! don’t fetishize mlm!”

Yuri is not an option for many wlw, so “just watch yuri then” is not a valid response. I personally settle more easily into BL than yuri, bc yuri often triggers my dysphoria. As someone who was a victim of underskirt photography, some of the shots trigger me too.

For every non-Asian person coming onto this thread and trying to explain why Asians should acknowledge that BL is problematic, buy me a fucking Kofi to compensate me for the minority stress you added to. Congratulations! You missed the point of this thread completely!

I’m turning off notifications now, but thank you everyone for sharing your experiences! It’s been interesting hearing from Europeans, South Americans, or even Americans from the Bible Belt who feel alienated by western queer media, and feel that Asian media better represents them

I’ll be honest and say I didn’t expect this to gain more than 50 likes, or to spread so far outside my fandom. I want to clarify that this was originally written in the context of queer chinese fans in my danmei fandom being shamed by westernized antis for being “fujoshis”.

Dynamics are probs diff in English-speaking anime fandom, where there are less English-speaking Japanese fans. Still, pls respect Asians in BL fandom. And pls, pls don’t attack chinese fans in danmei fandoms for liking things that aren’t even problematic in their own culture