Thread by @triniteeny, A guide to well wishes for the chronically ill; a thread.We know [...]

A guide to well wishes for the chronically ill; a thread.

We know you mean well, we do, but when you say "get well soon!" or "I hope you feel better" to someone with chronic illness, it can feel like a slap in the face.

There is no "well" or "better" for us.
1/10

I decided to put together alternatives for you to consider using when you want to express your well wishes to a loved one with chronic illness, because whilst there is no "well" or "better" for us, it doesn't mean that there's nothing you can say to express positive regard.
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Disclaimer: These are my thoughts/opinions; not all people with chronic illness are the same, or feel the same way. The following tweets are just some sentiments that I would prefer to hear than "get well/feel better"

P.S. words like "recovery" are also iffy territory.

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"Wishing you plenty of fulfilling rest."
Many chronically ill folx need plenty of rest, and OOFT do we struggle to get it. During flares (painful ones especially) we may struggle to rest, struggle to sleep (painsomnia), and even when we do it feels like we didn't.
4/10

"I hope your pain becomes more manageable"
The pain isn't going to go away. Wishing my pain away is futile and honestly just a reminder that I'll never be pain free. Wish me less pain, more manageable pain, a better management plan with my specialists. Anything but NO pain
5/10

"I hope things get easier in time"
As above, "easier", "more manageable", these all things that can be within reach, as opposed to the dream of "well", "better", etc. Also "in time" shows that you know there are no overnight fixes.
6/10

"I hope this flare passes quickly"
Flares are periods where we experience worsened symptoms, pain, etc. They usually aren't forever, and can vary from days to weeks. There is always the fear that a long lasting flare becomes your "new normal", which brings me to...
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"I hope this doesn't become your new normal, but if it does..."
DON'T follow that up with "it will be okay", follow that up with an offer of how you can continue to help if things continue the way that they are. Can you visit? Cook? Clean? Do groceries?
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Never say things like "it will be okay", "you'll adjust", "you're strong", "you're brave", and WORST OF ALL "you're an inspiration"

It doesn't ever feel okay, we have to adjust, and we are not brave or inspirational for simply existing in our chronically ill bodies.
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I hope this helps give you some inspiration on words of comfort and well wishes for your chronically ill loved ones. If any other chronically (ch)ill folx want to add their own, please do!

Wishing you all good rest and manageable pain