There’s been something disturbing going on in my personal life that I’ve been hesitant to share on social media. But it’s a pandemic and there’s nothing else to do so I’m going to share this unsettling mystery with you, my 103 followers.

First, you need to know that we don’t know our neighbours. We can smile and say hi and recognize them, sure, but we can’t tell you their names or what they do or what happened to the BMW that used to always be out front (or the guy who drove it).

Since working from home though, we’ve been seeing a lot more of them as they all also seem to be working from home. Things were normal until the weather changed. The return of the sun is where this mystery begins.

There is a house directly behind us. Thanks to the relative new-ness of the community and the lack of tall trees for privacy we can see right into their house and backyard. (I don’t know who needs to hear this, but close your blinds).

Husband noticed early last week that the man who lives in that house has started working outside on his deck. I know this seems fine and normal but I assure you, it’s about to get wild.

Day 1: guy is working on his deck in khakis and a dress shirt. Notable in that nobody dresses the part for working from home but we assumed he’s got business meetings and needs to look professional.

Day 2: still working outside, same khakis, golf shirt. Status quo, though somewhat more comfortable. We actually admire his dedication to his professionalism (we were so naive and misguided early on)

Day 3: still outside, same khakis, regular t-shirt. Now is when we begin to be concerned. Does this man not understand that working from home is professional waist up and sweatpants waist down? Something is not right.

Day 4: still outside, stills wearing khakis and we’ve also noticed a belt because HE IS NOT WEARING A SHIRT. Extremely distraught now, who are these people living around us? Why does he wear khakis the same way the rest of us wear athletic clothes?

There’s nothing to report over the weekend. Things went back to normal and we were able to push the atrocities of the work week to the back of our minds.

But then on Monday things took an alarming turn. He returned to his deck, this time in grey dress pants and what appear to be black dress shoes and still no shirt. I find small comfort in knowing he has multiple pants to choose from.

Today was the same though. Grey dress pants, no shirt. Much to his credit he is rocking an impressive early spring tan.

As I’m sure you can understand, we have many questions. Who is this man? What is his job? Does he lounge in dress clothes regularly? Is there something the rest of us don’t know about khakis? What he led to his deep confusion about working from home etiquette? Is he a criminal?

One thing is for sure and that’s that we have a real mystery on our hands. My years of true crime podcasts, Law and Order, and British procedural have prepared me for this.