Read on Twitter
A thread of “excuses” that nonlesbians use to either:
- validate bi/pan-lesbians
- give them an excuse to say dyke.
- be lesbophobic.
I’ll be explaining why these excuses are invalid.
I’ll be adding more as I go, you may use this to help inform others.
- validate bi/pan-lesbians
- give them an excuse to say dyke.
- be lesbophobic.
I’ll be explaining why these excuses are invalid.
I’ll be adding more as I go, you may use this to help inform others.
1) “I have a higher preference for women”
- just use sapphic instead, lesbians don’t have an attraction to men either romantically or sexually.
2) “i’m biromantic/homoromantic”
- The SAM is for Ace/Aro use only, don’t steal their terminology either.
- just use sapphic instead, lesbians don’t have an attraction to men either romantically or sexually.
2) “i’m biromantic/homoromantic”
- The SAM is for Ace/Aro use only, don’t steal their terminology either.
3) “I’m attracted to Non-Binaries too”
- lesbianism already includes enbies, also Non-binary isn’t the same as Agender. Not all Non-binaries identify as a third gender. This excuse is enbyphobic.
- lesbianism already includes enbies, also Non-binary isn’t the same as Agender. Not all Non-binaries identify as a third gender. This excuse is enbyphobic.
4) “I’m attracted to trans women too”
- This is VERY transphobic, trans women are women, calling yourself bi to cover trans women is implying that trans women are men.
5) “I’m attracted to trans men too”
- This is also transphobic like above, trans men ARE MEN.
- This is VERY transphobic, trans women are women, calling yourself bi to cover trans women is implying that trans women are men.
5) “I’m attracted to trans men too”
- This is also transphobic like above, trans men ARE MEN.
6) “I’m in a relationship with a woman”
- The relationship is Sapphic, just because you’re dating a woman doesn’t mean you’re automatically not bi. This is biphobic as it implies bi people in an opposite sex relationship are straight. You’re still bi no matter who you date.
- The relationship is Sapphic, just because you’re dating a woman doesn’t mean you’re automatically not bi. This is biphobic as it implies bi people in an opposite sex relationship are straight. You’re still bi no matter who you date.
7) “bi is just gay+straight so I’m allowed to call myself a lesbian”
This is a VERY biphobic excuse and it has been used against bi people by LGBTphobic straights alongside the ‘you’re just greedy’ comments. It also implies that bi people just pick a side.
This is a VERY biphobic excuse and it has been used against bi people by LGBTphobic straights alongside the ‘you’re just greedy’ comments. It also implies that bi people just pick a side.
8) “I can say Dyke because I’m attracted to women”
The definition of dyke is:
A lesbian.
This excuse is indirectly implying that straight men can say dyke because they too, are attracted to women.
The definition of dyke is:
A lesbian.
This excuse is indirectly implying that straight men can say dyke because they too, are attracted to women.
9) “I was called a dyke so I can reclaim it”
No, dyke is a slur to mock a lesbians lack of attraction to men and call us disgusting for only being a lesbian. Bi/pan women being called a dyke are often perceived as lesbians.
Str8 women who are “Tom-boys” can also be called dykes.
No, dyke is a slur to mock a lesbians lack of attraction to men and call us disgusting for only being a lesbian. Bi/pan women being called a dyke are often perceived as lesbians.
Str8 women who are “Tom-boys” can also be called dykes.
9.5) “I was called a dyke so I can reclaim it”
Being called a slur doesn’t mean you can reclaim it. Many able-bodied people have been called the R slur, white people have also been called the N slur. If they can’t reclaimed those slurs, then you can’t reclaim the dyke slur.
Being called a slur doesn’t mean you can reclaim it. Many able-bodied people have been called the R slur, white people have also been called the N slur. If they can’t reclaimed those slurs, then you can’t reclaim the dyke slur.
10) “I can say dyke because I ate pussy for 20 minutes that one time”
This is very lesbophobic as it is reducing our entire sexuality into eating pussy and sex, which can also be transphobic towards trans women (especially those who are pre op). Don’t reduce us to sex objects.
This is very lesbophobic as it is reducing our entire sexuality into eating pussy and sex, which can also be transphobic towards trans women (especially those who are pre op). Don’t reduce us to sex objects.
11) “bi/pan lesbians are valid because Sappho was married to a man”
Her husband’s name translated to “Dick Allcock from Manisland” (roughly) it was an obvious shit post. Also her poems were translated by cishet white men that would’ve swapped words to make them more straight.
Her husband’s name translated to “Dick Allcock from Manisland” (roughly) it was an obvious shit post. Also her poems were translated by cishet white men that would’ve swapped words to make them more straight.
12) “bi/pan lesbians are valid because bi/pans were considered lesbians in the 50s”
Yes that was true, but at that time solidarity was more important due to the raging homophobia. The sexualities eventually branched off as they needed their own labels for validation.
Yes that was true, but at that time solidarity was more important due to the raging homophobia. The sexualities eventually branched off as they needed their own labels for validation.
13) “bisexuals and lesbians were separated because of the TERFs”
No, they were separated because bisexuals and lesbians have different experiences and attractions. Bisexuals deserve their own spaces and so do lesbians.
Bi-lesbians is actually pandering to TERFs ideology more.
No, they were separated because bisexuals and lesbians have different experiences and attractions. Bisexuals deserve their own spaces and so do lesbians.
Bi-lesbians is actually pandering to TERFs ideology more.
14) “lesbians are bi/panphobic if they exclude bisexuals and pansexuals from their spaces”
No we’re not, we have a right to have our own spaces. Just because you share an attraction doesn’t mean you have a right to go into our spaces. Make your own if you’re that mad.
No we’re not, we have a right to have our own spaces. Just because you share an attraction doesn’t mean you have a right to go into our spaces. Make your own if you’re that mad.
15) “you can still call yourself a lesbian even if you have a boyfriend/attracted to men”
NO, lesbians don’t have an attraction to men no matter WHAT. It’s lesbophobic to say this, it panders to the fetish of converting lesbians.
It’s also bi/panphobic as you ignore their labels
NO, lesbians don’t have an attraction to men no matter WHAT. It’s lesbophobic to say this, it panders to the fetish of converting lesbians.
It’s also bi/panphobic as you ignore their labels
16) “if ace/aro lesbians are valid then why can’t bi/pan lesbians be valid!?!?”
Because ace/aro lesbians don’t have an attraction to men you numpty. SAM only applies to ace/aros.
Because ace/aro lesbians don’t have an attraction to men you numpty. SAM only applies to ace/aros.
17) “my lesbian friend said bi-lesbians are okay” OR “my lesbian friend nonlesbians can say dyke”
One lesbian friend doesn’t speak for all lesbians. Getting a pass from a close friend doesn’t mean you’re allowed to say it to everyone else.
One lesbian friend doesn’t speak for all lesbians. Getting a pass from a close friend doesn’t mean you’re allowed to say it to everyone else.
18) “I’m allowed to use butch/femme if I’m not a lesbian”
No, those are lesbian terms ONLY, don’t steal our terms, either find terms that your sexuality can use or go make your own.
No, those are lesbian terms ONLY, don’t steal our terms, either find terms that your sexuality can use or go make your own.
19) “Bi/pan women can experience comphet too!!!”
Comphet is a lesbian only term. You can’t experience comphet if you have an attraction to men as comphet isn’t an attraction, it’s a FALSE attraction. Bi/pan women can still be affected by heteronormativity, but it’s not comphet.
Comphet is a lesbian only term. You can’t experience comphet if you have an attraction to men as comphet isn’t an attraction, it’s a FALSE attraction. Bi/pan women can still be affected by heteronormativity, but it’s not comphet.
18) “comphet is just an attraction and internalised biphobia/panphobia”
N O, comphet ISN’T and attraction. Comphet is a FALSE attraction and no it’s not internalised biphobia or panphobia. Comphet is a massive struggle lesbians face, don’t make it a sexuality.
N O, comphet ISN’T and attraction. Comphet is a FALSE attraction and no it’s not internalised biphobia or panphobia. Comphet is a massive struggle lesbians face, don’t make it a sexuality.
21) "Being a Bi/Pan-Lesbian isn't biphobic or lesbophobic!"
Yes, it is. The Bi/pan-Lesbian label suggests that there are bi/pan-straights and adds to the the mentality that bi/pans = Straight+Guy. If you don't agree with bi/pan-straights then don't call yourself a bi/pan-lesbian
Yes, it is. The Bi/pan-Lesbian label suggests that there are bi/pan-straights and adds to the the mentality that bi/pans = Straight+Guy. If you don't agree with bi/pan-straights then don't call yourself a bi/pan-lesbian
22) "Trans women can't be lesbians because they have a penis"
Well that's just straight up transphobia, genitalia doesn't dictate gender. Trans women are women regardless of what's going on downstairs. Trans women are also beautiful and if you have this "excuse" block me now.
Well that's just straight up transphobia, genitalia doesn't dictate gender. Trans women are women regardless of what's going on downstairs. Trans women are also beautiful and if you have this "excuse" block me now.
23) "They/Them and He/him Lesbians are invalid!!!"
Read this, it explains it better than me.
https://lesbianing.carrd.co
If you still don't agree with this, either respect them and move on, or block me now.
Read this, it explains it better than me.
https://lesbianing.carrd.co
If you still don't agree with this, either respect them and move on, or block me now.
23) "He/Him lesbians are men!!!"
No they're not, pronouns don't always equal gender (as this suggests enbies who use they/them are always a third gender). He/him lesbians don't identify as men, they're just comfortable using he/him. Don't be invalidating
No they're not, pronouns don't always equal gender (as this suggests enbies who use they/them are always a third gender). He/him lesbians don't identify as men, they're just comfortable using he/him. Don't be invalidating
24) "I'm not a lesbian BUT, I don't believe-"
Stop, stop right there. If you are not a lesbian then you don't have the place to dictate what a lesbian can and can't do. It is not your sexuality and they're not your issues. Move along.
Stop, stop right there. If you are not a lesbian then you don't have the place to dictate what a lesbian can and can't do. It is not your sexuality and they're not your issues. Move along.
25) "You can't be a lesbian if you've had sex with a man/kissed a man"
Shut up, Comphet is a serious matter within the lesbian community, I suffered with it and forced myself to be with a man and have sex. A lesbian who has been with a man from due to comphet is still a lesbian.
Shut up, Comphet is a serious matter within the lesbian community, I suffered with it and forced myself to be with a man and have sex. A lesbian who has been with a man from due to comphet is still a lesbian.
26) "It's biphobic for a lesbian to say 'Men are trash, imagine being with a man'"
It's called humour and a coping mechanism. Why is it biphobic for lesbians to say "men are gross" but it's completely fine for str8 and bi women to say it?
It's called humour and a coping mechanism. Why is it biphobic for lesbians to say "men are gross" but it's completely fine for str8 and bi women to say it?
27) "You're not a lesbian if you find a man attractive"
That's not even close to being true, anyone can appreciate someone's beauty regardless of their sexuality. Just because a lesbian says "this man is gorgeous" doesn't mean she is sexually attracted to him.
That's not even close to being true, anyone can appreciate someone's beauty regardless of their sexuality. Just because a lesbian says "this man is gorgeous" doesn't mean she is sexually attracted to him.
28) "Saying 'Only lesbians can make comphet jokes' is bi/panphobic"
Once again, comphet is a false attraction to men that ONLY LESBIANS can experience. You can't joke about it if you're a bi/pan woman since you have that genuine attraction to men.
Once again, comphet is a false attraction to men that ONLY LESBIANS can experience. You can't joke about it if you're a bi/pan woman since you have that genuine attraction to men.
29) “anyone can say stud because it’s the same as butch”
You stop it right there, they’re lesbian only terms, but stud is a term specifically for black lesbians who are butches (I don’t know the femme equivalent sorry). This isn’t a term for anyone who is white, lesbian or not.
You stop it right there, they’re lesbian only terms, but stud is a term specifically for black lesbians who are butches (I don’t know the femme equivalent sorry). This isn’t a term for anyone who is white, lesbian or not.
30) "Bi and Pan women can say Dyke"
(Another reason)
As the definition of Dyke is, a lesbian. If you are being called a dyke as a bi/pan woman, you are being reduced to being attracted to 1 gender, erasing your bi/pan label. So why invalidate yourself and others with it too?
(Another reason)
As the definition of Dyke is, a lesbian. If you are being called a dyke as a bi/pan woman, you are being reduced to being attracted to 1 gender, erasing your bi/pan label. So why invalidate yourself and others with it too?
