*CONSPIRACY*

I usually try and keep my beliefs off Twitter, but I can't let this go unsaid. If you're easily offended please don't read on.

You all think you've got it figured out. The sea is blue, sharks are evil, and dolphins are perfect.

Well, what if I told you that's what Big Media WANT you to think?

Dolphins (latin name: delphinus, meaning 'fuckbois of the sea') are not the happy little fish friends you think they are. Sure they're smiling, but only cos they're remembering all the HORRIBLE things they've done.

Meanwhile sharks (latin name: selachimorpha, meaning 'teethy angels') are basically the nurses of the sea. They smell a bit of blood and come running to help.

Put it this way. Dolphins always but coming at us like "eeeeee" but when did you last hear one ask how you day went? Never, that's right.

But thanks to the widespread media conspiracy (I'm looking at you Steven Spielberg and your Jaw movies), you're all brainwashed into thinking otherwise.

As evidence, here's some classic bias and misinformation from the mainstream media:

"But why would they want us to think this" I hear you ask. Well, did you know dolphins aren't even fish? They're mammals PRETENDING to be fish so we don't get their delicious milk.

ONLY PLAUSIBLE THEORY: The Rich are keeping all the dolphin milk for themselves, while we're stuck drinking cow juice like it's normal (and we ALL know there's something going on with cows and Russia).

"Wait for them to give you some, if they feel so"

Haha omg this is so blatantly a lie idk how any of you still believe.

Block me all you want, haters. I can't make you open your eyes