Read on Twitter
tulog na ba mga bata magkakalat ako
dating apps suck,, a thread ?
dating apps suck,, a thread ?
everything that gets spilled on this thread is solely my opinion so, if dating apps worked out for you,, ((sana all)). if not,,, keep reading you lonely whore
installing dating apps was one of the biggest mistakes i’ve ever made. as someone who relies on the approval of other people for a feeling of validation (tnx parents) having matches was euphoric.
Every guy i matched with, i sent a message to, all varying in form; from the simple hey and what’s up to the more cringey ones like “r u satan kasi you look like a heaven that fell to earth” typa lines.
some of them would reply then have a conversation with me, and some wont. I know now that’s it’s okay kasi nobody is entitled to reply naman but,, it eroded my self esteem. My self worth slowly became hinged on the attention i received from men.
i started criticizing myself for not being able to hold the attention of a stranger from the internet and the inconsistencies of the fagguets i talked to had me second guessing whether i was someone worthy of receiving attention and eventually, l*ve. (ew the l word 
)
)
It grosses me out how much happiness i feel from someone giving me the slightest hint of interest. I bend over backwards for guys who reply,, i act like a puPPY excitedly replying and waiting for a response back as if my life depended on it.
I forgot how to take care of myself and instead focused on getting the attention of others,, eventually sacrificing my mental health.
I know that maybe I had underlying issues even before installing dating apps, but it just felt like the said issues were amplified.
Knowing how literally thousands of people see my profile and only a handful swipe right and even more minute, the amount of people i get to talk to,, anxiety inducing diba.
I became someone who doubted whether or not i deserve to feel happy or to show that i’m happy because of the fear of pushing people away. I began thinking whether im too much or too little,, constantly telling myself that im not enough.
I wanted to end this thread on a positive note kasi dating apps are not all bad naman. you get to make friends and sometimes, having a conversation with a stranger is enough. BUt, i still struggle to love me for me, not completely because of dating apps but,, kinda HAHA
a reminder to all of us na lang ilalagay ko sa dulo:
you are enough.
yun lang kalat no
you are enough.
yun lang kalat no
