Thread by @oceanselene, I've debated making this post for months. But this weekend I hurt [...]

I've debated making this post for months. But this weekend I hurt myself over it and I can't live that way. So here's what happened between me and Jason Ward (long thread, sorry)

We started talking when I made a tweet he saw and I dm'd him to apologize and clarify it wasn't about him. The night I first messaged him he sent me leaked pics from TROS. He said I could tweet about it so I did and so did he.

Chris is one of my closest friends & he told me that Jason had sent those leaks to another girl he knew & she had exchanged sexual pics with him

This made me wary when Jason started offering me other things but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt & also was intimidated

One morning I woke up to Chris telling me that word had gotten back to him that *I* was flirting with Jason. I talked to a couple friends and they calmed me down but I didn't know what to do. It wasn't true but I didn't want to piss him off, honestly I was scared

That same day, Jason messages me out of nowhere to tell me he wasn't the one who had liked all my pics on insta last week

I confronted him about it and he had an answer for everything. I believed him. I wanted it to be a misunderstanding. I thought this other girl who he had sent the leaks to lied to Jason and Chris.

The other girl ended up texting Chris telling him how angry Jason is with her. But I talked to one of my other friends who said that Jason could and would manipulate everything like that to get me to believe him.

Then people on twitter started saying I was "riding MSW's dick" and was sucking up to him bc we were mutuals. There were rumors I was even secretly his niece.

I made tweets addressing them. Jason replied defensively thinking I was throwing him under the bus but deleted it

This is where things got too much for me to handle. I was still confused about everything that had happened but was still talking to him. And he happened to message me back right as my friends left and I was drunk and I said way too much

I really don't have a filter when I drink I wasn't thinking and I tried to make that clear to him. But also we were still both irritated about the twitter drama so i thought we were just joking and blowing off steam about the rumors about us I didn't think he was flirting

(he's talking about my pfp at the time which was that pic) I said things I wouldn't have said sober and he started telling me about his sex life which I wasn't expecting but again I wasn't thinking straight either

I definitely made it clear I was drunk. So he said he was starting to drink, dared me to do another shot, and sent me a pic of his laptop and some red Kool aid. Idk if he had alcohol there I didn't see any that I can remember. I made fun of him and he dared me to do another one.

He made a joke about food emojis being phallic and yeah

I'm embarrassed about what happened next so let me say I'm not sharing this because I want to but because it's better you hear all of it from me. The party i went to was the first one since I left my husband - I got wasted

He mentioned the pictures from the party I had told him about earlier and without thinking I sent a couple. They were revealing (although nothing you wouldn't see wearing a swimsuit), and my chest had a few people's names written on it.

Right after I sent it, Jason told me that I should delete our conversation. (Before I sobered up)

I was talking to Chris and let slip that I was talking to Jason. Chris already knew I'd been drinking.

I tried to reassure Chris that I was fine but I was still drinking so I wasn't very convincing

He told me to stop talking to Jason but I have trouble saying no so while I was talking to Chris I was discussing music with Jason. We were talking about concerts we'd been to. Then the convo came back around to how hot I was

Apparently at this point Chris was really worried about me and didn't want me to send more stuff i would regret so he called Jason and told him to stop talking to me. And Chris' roommate at the time messaged Jason

Jason started talking again about how possessive Chris is of me, he told me that they were trying to frame him ig and to not talk to them or give them any screenshots. He also asked me if I thought he pressured me to drink (I'm still trashed at this point) and ofc I said no

The next morning I felt like shit. I re-read my convo with him and I couldn't believe how stupid I was and I was so mad at myself for continuing the conversation

I talked to a few of my friends who all said the same thing - not my fault, he knew better. But I still blame myself.

I was going to share all this back then, when I realized I would almost definitely run into him at the TROS premiere.

I was terrified of running into him and him being mad at me. So I kept talking to him like everything was normal but then I ended up feeling bad for him and we talked about personal things as friends, which made me second guess myself even more

After TROS I decided I couldn't keep it to myself, because I'd heard he'd done similar things to other women my age, but because we'd been talking as friends I wanted to give him a heads up, i guess out of respect. I told him everything I said in this thread & about other drama

We talked for a long time, he had an answer for everything and even though those answers didn't match up with what my friends said or what he'd said I felt guilty for betraying his friendship and I wanted this to be over I was tired and confused so I said ok I won't say anything

But when he sent that waving gif, joking about having sex with me after everything, it just made me so upset. I've heard he's done other things to other women and if me destroying my reputation helps prevent this from happening again then ig it's worth it

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