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Miriam Margolyes wants to play a TV detective. I now want to pitch a Cunning Woman series set in Jane Austen times where Miriam solves missing necklace mysteries using & #39;magic& #39; that& #39;s actually psychology and trickery, while liberally insulting all the upperclass bods who hired her
& #39;I& #39;ve just been and questioned the stable lad very thoroughly. I& #39;ll probably give him another questioning in an hour or so once he& #39;s got his breath back. Maybe one of you ladies could make him a cup of tea.& #39;
& #39;This form of divination requires a bowl into which we pour the sediment from a bottle of port, stir it around and observe the shapes. The older the port, the more accurate the fortune. I shall see to it that the surplus port is disposed of.& #39;
Imagine if Poldark had John Constantine in it but it& #39;s actually Nanny Ogg
"I& #39;m sorry Lord Polmersdale but the only known cure for your awkward performance problems is a tincture the local Romany sell, and it costs five guineas a bottle. After the way you spoke to them, I doubt they& #39;ll want to do business. Maybe if you apologised. On your knees."
"Dear Ms Lister. Engaged in a case. Family& #39;s eldest daughter refuses to marry. Tempestuous, withdrawn, etc. Have told them it is probably a vampire. Should buy us some time. Need your able assistance. Come at once. PS bring gin."
In keeping with the tendency to give detective series single-name titles I& #39;d probably call it TALLOW and open with a sequence of Miriam making a wax poppet by candlelight and smirking
