Under the Canberra Bubble: COVIDSafe

Morrison: Singapore had this great idea for an app that lets the government track the virus!

Dutton: Track the people?

Morrison: No, Peter... the virus. We can see in real time if herd immunity is going to work!

Albo: Peter, maybe you should go back to trying to stop more boats. You need practice.

Dutton: Whatever, it was China's fault the Ruby Princess docked.

Payne: We're going to cut China off. I know I NEVER look happy, but this face is excited at being able to tell China off.

Morrison: Guys, we're getting carried away... the tracking app!

Barnaby: Fuck off with your app, I don't want the government in my life!

Penny: You don't want to be in your own life, Barnaby? Not even you like you?

Barnaby: What do you even mean?

Penny: Neeevermind.

Morrison: What's a good time to report that someone's been in contact without making them paranoid?

Dutton: 30 seconds

Barnaby: I don't care, someone's going to decouple it and play piggy in the middle with the databytes.

*Albo and Penny both raise an eyebrow*

Morrison: Look, Brian's told me he prayed to iGod (tm & c Hillsong) and he said this is going to be be for us what bleach and ultraviolet has been for America...

*Albo looks at Penny*: Should we... should we tell him?

*Penny shakes her head*

Dutton: I went and had the app made anyway, I promise there are no allusions to Nazism anywhere.

*Penny stares at the logo*

Morrison: You're a top bloke, Peter. Now let's get Australia back open for business. I need to have a playdate with my new BFF, Donald!