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Do I really in love with my friend?
A continuous thread day by day,
A continuous thread day by day,
What am I gonna do? I feel weird feelings towards my friend. I cared him a lot more than anyone. But nothing more, I& #39;m still confused.
I miss him so badly, he is online most of the time. I didn& #39;t chat him often because at first I don& #39;t want to grow this weird thoughts im encountering with.
I meet him a year ago then actually I don& #39;t want to hang with him that time. He is so naughty, smart, funny and player thats my first impression and actually he is totally like that when Ive already hangout with.
I don& #39;t like guy& #39;s (clarification) but this quarantine makes me confused about myself. I flirt many girls before but im NGSB, not because im not good looking, or i dont want them but rather because I have been played by someone and hurt me so much. I wait for here so long and ...
I saw her holding hands with some other guy. I rush towards her and calmly ask her what is it for?. Then they said that theyre seeing each other. She gives me hope before and its been 3yrs of efforts and courting but Ive failed. Im so lost, my heart broke so badly
"Do I did something wrong why this things happening to me?" this is the question that I really don& #39;t know the answer before. But time passed and now I think I already move on with her.
Going back a year ago, I never thought of having a friend whos care me so much. Yes, its him. Where on the same course and often seat besides me. I don& #39;t see him more than just a friend but one day. He made me confused of what I should think of him.
That day im so tired and pissed but he approach me and tell somethings that makes me enlightened and he share so much rants about his family, friend and ex& #39;s. Its normal and it helps us to build more in our friendship. Weve done in the way giving and taking an advice (repeatedly)
I dont have friends like him before. Im the one whom giving peace of advice to everyone but I didnt get in return but when he came all was changed. He also dare to ask me to go out and eat, buy some stuff, he even want to come and crash at my placed. I dont think anything before
Until one girl approach her. They chat all night long. My friend was so kind of giving her an advice each day. And im totally okay with that cause im giving her also but not all the time. Theyre last until 3am each day chit-chating. I know it because my friend shares me this HAHA
We eat together again but he invited the girl to come and join us. It feels weird in my side. I can& #39;t explain but I still act normal as what I should
One week after the day we eat outside. I& #39;ve encountered family issues and its so-so heavy. I cried a lot, I seek for attention, I& #39;ve been tweet pessimistic thoughts but unfortunately even my friend is online he didnt bare to chat me. That day no one did.
I fix it by myself as what I do before. Meanwhile, at the time of 9am some tweet float at the top of my phone consisting of fool words about someone. I clicked it and saw it was my friends tweet. I chat him and listen to him. He is crying. So I comfort him
Maybe I think of a way that shouldn& #39;t have to be. But being a friend of him is the best thing, that person needs someone cares him as what he should deserve. Thats why im here his friend.
I approach him, when I felt that his not in his mood or he has a problem. I always shows that I really care for him. But one day, the day that the quarantined imposed and applied. Everything begins to change.
Doubled the problems his pacing out. And I ask him what is it but he always saying "nothing". My friend fb is signed in also in my phone but I dont want to open it because I dont want him to be mad at me. He is good at tech. info and he can actually fount out if I do it
Until he allows me to open his account for academics purposes (online class). I open it and my main goal is to be present and cooperate with the docs sent by our prof but my hidden agenda is to know the real problem his facing that day
I found out that he still chit-chatting with the girl his giving advice before. And now he is the one whom asking it for. But actually I came and ask him also but he said "nothing" hhmmmpp. I want to know the reason... I seek for it so badly!!
But im at silent. I don& #39;t have the right in questioning his actions. Im just a friend. So I should back to normal. But day by day he gets colder and colder. I don& #39;t know the reason!! WTH why didn& #39;t he tell me anything!? Why your so mean to me!
Then one day I get tired. Questioning myself of why I did all of this for him. Then someone tells to me that "Are you attention seeker?" my physical body is about to crash and I hope that can I evaporate at the moment. Thinking that maybe he& #39;s right
many days and weeks passed. No chat nor hi and low came to the person i& #39;ve waited and I conclude that this is the best way of giving him the freedom. Maybe he is courting better one and being unreasonable with your friend is not that much important because friend is just a friend
I understand you! Only if you know. I still care for you, but I will go a distance. It& #39;s a win-win situation. I dont want this feeling and I think you dont want me to annoy you. I dont know your reason but I know its none of my business. I wish you all the best! Keep fighting!
I therefore conclude that my friend - bestfriend will not be the same as old. And I actually born to faced changes so life goes on. I dont know if I loved him but in the way of friendship, yes I do! No more, no less. Starting all over again isn& #39;t hard ive done this already! EASY!
I& #39;ll update this thread soon
