I can only apologise if you’re having breakfast, or if you’re squeamish, or... well... if you’re normal really so, I’m sorry.
So, the cat came in just as I’d fallen asleep last night and I knew instantly what was going on because she was talking with her mouth full... (cont...)

slightly like I imagine what a drowning/strangled cat would sound like... quite a low noise but unmistakably mouth full. She releases catch under the bed and decides to play kiss chase for what felt like an age but was probably about 5mins. Then lay in bed through her (cont...)

crunching it up, bones and all... chewing with her mouth open... honest to god my cat has the worst manners, anyway, I digress. She then decides that she didn’t much like the taste of this one so then the delightful sounds of broken bellows on speed as she starts to return it...

right in the middle under the bed (it’s a super king, which I appreciate is ridiculous being a single lass but it is what it is), which will require quite a combat operation to retrieve and clean up (can’t wait). Clearly she was still hungry so EXACTLY the same thing happened

about 20mins later https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👍🏼" title="Thumbs up (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Thumbs up (medium light skin tone)">
The the dogs pissed each other off pretty much every hour for the rest of the night so all in all I’m a grumpy cockwomble today. The reason I am sharing this rather self-pitying affair is that @chardyemm needed to know that not all houses are sunshine and

roses... I finally got up this morning to 3 dead rodents (one not exactly perfectly formed anymore thanks to midnight purging), there is enough dog hair around the house to potentially spin myself a new clothing range and home schooling? Printer is broken so it’s all gone to fuck

and tbh I don’t actually give a shite. My dearest Char... any child of yours will be having a far better education than any school could provide just now with life experience and being on the farm. AND anyone who has a perfectly spotless house clearly has nothing better to do

(may be slightly obsessive and boring... there goes a load of my followers!) Chin up gorgeous, we don’t all spin rose-tinted shite https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😜" title="Winking face with tongue" aria-label="Emoji: Winking face with tongue">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😘" title="Face throwing a kiss" aria-label="Emoji: Face throwing a kiss">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Red heart" aria-label="Emoji: Red heart">