Given most recent #CatholicTwitter drama involves #sexualabuse & no one’s talking abt how 2 spot abusers: Here r important tips

1) Scrutinise anyone who wants 2 spend more time w/ur kid than you
2) watch out 4 adults who hav more kid friends than peer friends
3) trust ur gut
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^ These r most important tips. Here’s some other warnings:
- 90% of abusers will b someone the victim knows
- 1 in 6 kids will b abused b4 18
- 1 in 18 will be abused by a minor
- stranger danger only protects kids from 10% of pedophiles
- disabled kids more likely 2 b abused 2/

Warning signs in young kids:
- afraid of another adult/kid
- flinches at being touched
- uncomfortable at bath time/getting dressed
- sudden unexplained drop in grades
- uses sexual language
- acts out sexual acts w/toys
- suddenly withdrawn
- increase nightmares/bed wetting
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- intense & sudden panic/meltdowns about a specific place or person
- behaviour that seems too old for their age
- thoughts of suicide (May be expressed as “wish I was nvr born” “hate being alive,” “wish I could run away” “wish I was dead” “I hate everything/everyone”)
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- unexplained irritability/aggression
- reversion to a younger development stage (acting younger than they are)

If you r a parent, w/a kid showing several signs, talk to ur kids’ pediatrician, or speak w/rape crisis center abt concerns

Signs in older kids/teens:
- isolation
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esp from friend grp/peers
- new “special friend”
- becomes secretive
- exposure to porn
- wants more private time with devices/tech
- depression
- withdraws from fam
- unexplained grade drop
- suicidal thoughts/talk of suicide (IF THEY HAVE SPECIFIC PLAN CALL 911 ASAP!)
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- cutting/self-harm
- drug/alcohol use
- sleep disruption (cannot sleep or sleeps all the time)
- sudden fatigue
- IF abuser is boyfriend/girlfriend: behaviour changes around this person, signs of domestic violence, may show panic around going to school or dates
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- PLUS any of the signs listed for young kids

If you suspect abuse, try to talk w/ur child, or consult mental health pro, rape crisis center on specific concerns

Signs of an abuser:
(NOTE: always a combination of several of these not just a few. 6+ scrutinise the person)
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- volunteers for anything w/kids
- wants to take kids places alone w/out parents/other adults
- spends extra time/attention on a single child in grp
- likes activities that involve physical contact w/kids (ex wrestling, tickling, extra hugs, swimming)
- voyeurism
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- preoccupied w/sexual matters (may be expressed as disgust)
- enjoys watching or participating in violence
- unexplained move from hometown/area
- lack of caution when undressing/changing in public
- will minimise rapes/treat victims as subhuman (“he/she was asking for it”)
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- describes personal history of maltreatment
- MAY be extremely well-liked/respected & heavuly defended (some perps groom the whole community to get access to victims)
- MAY display poor emotional regulation (can’t calm selves down)
- pushes boundaries

If you suspect
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someone is an abuser or is grooming, confront them. (Best done by the father of the fam if possible.) Innocent ppl usually understand the concerns, & predators will often abandon that victim.

Additional risk factors for abuse:
- prior abuse
- mental illness
- blended fam
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- unrelated adult male lives in house (ex mom’s boyfriend, step-father, step-brother, sometimes uncle/cousin)
- parents going thru divorce (or divorced)
- absent parent
- child is bullied
- child has disability
- child is isolated from friends/social grps

For specific
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concerns, consult a rape crisis center, a physician, RAINN or http://defendinnocence.org  for more info/advice

It’s likely u know someone being abused rn. Watch for red flags, be aware abusers are attracted to kids. We can protect kids or stop abuse by looking out 4 kids
#SAAM
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