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I was in a “gifted” program from 4th grade to 8th grade. But it was special because they took the kids that scored highest on the STAAR test and put us all into one classroom. They said we were the top 1% in the district and boy did that get to our egos, or at least mine. https://twitter.com/socializm_/status/1254441065077145600">https://twitter.com/socializm...
There were less than 20 of us and our school had 2 teachers per class, one for ELA/history, and one for math/science. And while every other kid at the school got 2 new teacher a year, we kept ours for 4th and 5th, we stayed in the same clas with the same kids, give or take a few.
I should also mention that I had to move schools to join this program because we didn’t all come from the same school. And right away I noticed that there were only 5 other non-white kids in the class besides me.
In elementary school it was actually really fun, because it was the gifted program all day. We got to make movies and do fun projects that other classes didn’t get to do, and learned math and science at a higher grade level too.
From Kindergarten to 3rd grade there was never any point of me struggling in school, the lowest grade I ever got on a report card was like a 97. And being in the gifted program at my old school, I never learned how to actually struggle and learn, because I already knew everything
But now that I was in this new, more difficult, gifted program, I started struggling in certain subjects and even started getting failing grades on quizzes/homework. This was absolutely devastating because I was a “child prodigy” (I hate that but that’s how my parents treated it)
This newfound difficulty made me not want to try, I became less and less engaged and motivated, to the point where I stopped reading almost completely. But the biggest change came when I hit middle school, because THAT was hell on my mental health.
I’m middle school I started off pretty ok, but then I started failing more and more because I never learned how to study and was always told that I was just so smart I could figure out any problem I had, so when I couldn’t I immediately gave up because I wasn’t perfect at it.
I stopped doing all my assignments and eventually stopped turning things in at all, because for so long I could just scrape by on the fact that I was a “gifted” student.
In middle school I also had to actually learn social interaction because for the first time in 2 years I was around “normal” kids who weren’t all weirdos. After a rocky 6th grade, to say the least, I joined theatre and did UIL theatre, and it gave me a reason to try in school.
But even in 8th grade when I was the lead in our UIL play, I couldn’t bring myself to work on classes that were difficult. I didn’t want to ask for help because I didn’t know how to, I never needed it before and I didn’t want my parents thinking I was dumb so I failed in silence.
Even today as a sophomore (ik I’m young) I struggle with finding ways to work whenever I’m met with failure. The worst part is, I’m not getting anything special out of being in the program. Colleges aren’t going to see it, I’m not getting a scholarship. Just advanced credits.
Also the program is shutting down/already shut down idk but good for these kids who won’t get emotionally and learning stunted. But now I get to say I’m the product of a failed experiment!!! 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤪" title="Zany face" aria-label="Emoji: Zany face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥳" title="Partying face" aria-label="Emoji: Partying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😌" title="Relieved face" aria-label="Emoji: Relieved face">
Anyway end of thread sorry I didn’t realize it would be this long I guess I never fully aired my gripes anywhere else https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">
